hopeto Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Hey to all you that are addicted to porn. I have a question, and one that I can relay to my husband. I need to know what you have lost because of your addition and did you ever recover. and when you recovered did you relize it was never your so and that it was the addiction that tore you apart? what effects did it have on you? how did effect your marriage? did your sex life with your so stop because of your addiction? do you think that your marriage would have been better if you had seen the addiction and could it have surrived? needs lots of thought on this one. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 raises hand [cocaine addiction over here] 7 months ago when i started on my program we were asked: what is the problem? what did i lose? what does recovery mean to me? at that time i said - the problem is getting over the hurt of a relationship from my past i said i lost a woman i loved and recovery was getting my sense of self back NOW [totally diif] the prob is cocaine i lost self respect, freedom and proper judgement and recovery is abstannce my addiction was falsely attached to the hurt, to the relationship, to the ex - had nohting to do with her i believe it was THE DEALBREAKER - IT WAS [for both of us] cocaine is whacked because it destroys, in men, yer ability to have an erection while at the same time makes u crave pleasure - what i horrible combination i saw the addiction - it was clear - i didn't have the cognitive skill set then to combat it - and the ex was beyond exhaustion and wanted nothing to do with me as it totally changed forever how i was viewed by her and that was a long time ago - i am sure i am still a dangerous junkie in her mind i get to carry that inside me as a reminder to not use again yes we would have survived - i was yelling for help and pushing her away at the same time - i don't think my ex fully realizes how i witnessed what her reaction and what impact this had on her the night i lost her - we were resting in bed together - and it was the first time i had managed to be able to reach for her to help me...and as we snuged, she started crying...real deep tears from way inside...this was serious and she said to me "please stop, i can't help u anymore. i don't want to go back "there" again" and i knew what that meant - that why i did not try and stop her leaving me even tho i knew doing so was our end and i never did anything harder in my life - it was the start of my recovery and the next day when she woke up - another part of her, a side i never saw before, was there - and i looked deep inside myself and thought i have so much work to do on myself before i can even attempt to reach her again....i failed but i accept that now i have never gone thru a relationship such as this one in my life - i will not allow those things back in my life it is like that time, someone else lived in my body - snorting cocaine while my blended family watched surviour - i really thought i would not recover from that and probably was subconsciious trying to kill myself i know that everything i became during those 7 months [felt like 3 weeks to me] will never leave the minds of my 2 duaghters and my wife and so when people question my determination and honesty and courage and wonder why i don't play games - THAT'S WHY Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Hey to all you that are addicted to porn. I have a question, and one that I can relay to my husband. I need to know what you have lost because of your addition and did you ever recover. and when you recovered did you relize it was never your so and that it was the addiction that tore you apart? what effects did it have on you? how did effect your marriage? did your sex life with your so stop because of your addiction? do you think that your marriage would have been better if you had seen the addiction and could it have surrived? needs lots of thought on this one. Just wondering why you posted this here..? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 goodbye love shackers be kind to your heart, body and soul i wish everyone all the happiness in the world and a merry christmas Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 Just wondering why you posted this here..? because it has to do with my marriage and why it has come to divorce and him not respecting me nor our daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopeto Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 raises hand [cocaine addiction over here] 7 months ago when i started on my program we were asked: what is the problem? what did i lose? what does recovery mean to me? at that time i said - the problem is getting over the hurt of a relationship from my past i said i lost a woman i loved and recovery was getting my sense of self back NOW [totally diif] the prob is cocaine i lost self respect, freedom and proper judgement and recovery is abstannce my addiction was falsely attached to the hurt, to the relationship, to the ex - had nohting to do with her i believe it was THE DEALBREAKER - IT WAS [for both of us] cocaine is whacked because it destroys, in men, yer ability to have an erection while at the same time makes u crave pleasure - what i horrible combination i saw the addiction - it was clear - i didn't have the cognitive skill set then to combat it - and the ex was beyond exhaustion and wanted nothing to do with me as it totally changed forever how i was viewed by her and that was a long time ago - i am sure i am still a dangerous junkie in her mind i get to carry that inside me as a reminder to not use again yes we would have survived - i was yelling for help and pushing her away at the same time - i don't think my ex fully realizes how i witnessed what her reaction and what impact this had on her the night i lost her - we were resting in bed together - and it was the first time i had managed to be able to reach for her to help me...and as we snuged, she started crying...real deep tears from way inside...this was serious and she said to me "please stop, i can't help u anymore. i don't want to go back "there" again" and i knew what that meant - that why i did not try and stop her leaving me even tho i knew doing so was our end and i never did anything harder in my life - it was the start of my recovery and the next day when she woke up - another part of her, a side i never saw before, was there - and i looked deep inside myself and thought i have so much work to do on myself before i can even attempt to reach her again....i failed but i accept that now i have never gone thru a relationship such as this one in my life - i will not allow those things back in my life it is like that time, someone else lived in my body - snorting cocaine while my blended family watched surviour - i really thought i would not recover from that and probably was subconsciious trying to kill myself i know that everything i became during those 7 months [felt like 3 weeks to me] will never leave the minds of my 2 duaghters and my wife and so when people question my determination and honesty and courage and wonder why i don't play games - THAT'S WHY thanks for your post. I have said a little prayer for you and you will make it. be strong and find faith cause you will do it. however I was looking for the porn addiction, but because this is most important this can help others and maybe wake them from there nightmare as well. Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 because it has to do with my marriage and why it has come to divorce and him not respecting me nor our daughter. Reread this... gottcha... Hope you get more answers to your question.. I can give you no help here:o .... the only adiction i have is for Chinese food.... ( ) Take care... ilmw 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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