34N118W Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 hey, i would appreciate some optmistic feedback. i'm going to try and sum it up as fast as possible. i'm a total romantic and my gf isn't as much. i smothered her and because of it she has now fallen out of love with me and isn't as attracted to me anymore and sat. morning she said she was thinking of breaking up but we talked and she left not knowing what to do so i threw it into instant no contact, and since then the only talking has been me sending one email explaining how i now recognize what pushed her away and that i was sorry and that i didn't think we should talk right now. so basically, we are still together, barely holding on, but i need to know how to fix this and get her to feel for me again...i'm hoping NC will work, and spending every day in the gym should help too...but i miss her every second of the day and i don't want to push her away. she has already sent a few "i miss you" texts and wanted to talk on the phone like bull**** but i said i don't want to talk so now the ball is back in my court as to when i want to talk. is this the right route and if so, for how long? i know that a lot of you might say move on, it's pointless but i'm not hearing that right now...i'm crazy about this girl and i didn't do anything but love her too much and push her away and i will at least attempt to get her back to how she was. she also lives 1.5 hours away at school. any feedback would help and thanks a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 When someone is unsure of how they feel or what they want- it really is best to give them space. So, yes.... you're doing the right thing. Psychologically, you've transformed yourself from the rejectee to the rejector... and that is the best way to play it. Now she is forced to wonder why you don't want her! And that will work in your favour. I had an ex I was unsure of from the beginning and I voiced my unsure feelings to him. He ended up breaking up with me and I went nuts because his rejection of me made me so determined to have him back. It's reverse psychology! And it works! D Link to post Share on other sites
Author 34N118W Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 good, i hope that is the case...i just don't know how long i need to be like this...cuz i'm already starting to really miss her and want to talk to her about stuff...but at the same time i want to lay it on thicker and not talk to her longer so she will want me more...but i don't know how long is necessary at all. any ideas? Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 I think it's necessary to play things this way until she comes around and makes a concrete decision about what she wants. She either wants to be a partner to you, or she doesn't. It's not fair to you for her to keep things up in the air. I think it's okay to tell her that- that the two of you either need to make the commitment to work on the relationship, or you need to walk away from one another. If she's unsure, she needs to take her space and figure it out. I think it's okay if she wants to talk to have a sit down with her and have that conversation with her. If she's still unable to tell you anything concrete about what she wants to do- then you should go into full NC with her. But maybe it's good to have the conversation first- see if you guys can come to any sort of conclusion. Good luck, D Link to post Share on other sites
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