Parents made us break up

[lostplzhelp]

After 2 months of a relationship, her parents made us break up. Throughout this relationship, everything was great.

 

Background information. I'm 19, turning 20 in August. She's 16 (turned in April). I didn't know her age right away.

 

We didn't do much of serious serious relationship things like... ex sexual stuff. We just basically were very good friends. Any time, maybe 2 times a week, we spent together. Mostly riding bikes/skating/or playing with her younger brother and sister. Everything was very good, and we enjoyed spending time together.

 

At first when she met, she did lie to me and tell me she was 18. She told her parents I was 17. I knew only that she told them that I lived around her, which I lived like 30 minutes away.

 

Thursday night I found out that she was infact 16. I was mad at first, but I tried to think of why she would do this. I called her, and even went over there, talked to her mom and all. Well, she explained that I would have never liked her if she did not tell me this. I really did believe her, and she was very sincere about it all. We really did get along VERY well. It was like we were best friends or something, but having the bf/gf status.

 

She was away for Friday and Saturday. I talked all day on the phone with her today (Sunday) and we discussed about what we would do if her parents didn't like the age situation and what if they did not. Well, her parents were mad she was on the phone, and they made her get off after a few hours (she was obviously upset because she was scared what they would do). About 5 minutes later, her mom called me, and we talked. I told her about how I forgave her daughter for the age lie. She did express that she was not ok with the difference of age. I told her that I had to respect that.

 

The girl is most likely VERY upset right now. I have no idea what to do. They have taken away her online access... as she lied to them about my age. Well, I can't contact her without that. I can call though, but I don't know if it is welcomed or not. I am not sure how to handle this. What do you all think about the age situation. I am just really really upset right now. Seems every relationship goes wrong, and this girl really did care. She was very sincere with everything on our last phone call. I can't even think of what it's like to not talk to her, see her, or be able to even think about her.

[Tony T]

It doesn't really matter what we think here...until she is 18 and/or she moves away from her parents' home, her parents will call the shots in her life.

 

In my opinion, things will be a lot better when you are 21 and she is 18.

 

I don't hold it against her for lying about her age or yours. Her intentions were only to save the relationship and keep her parents from objecting. I don't think she's a bad person for that.

 

Right now, I urge you not to call her home or contact her in any way. Back off completely. It's likely this lady will call you or contact you when it is safe for her to do so. Any attempt on your part to contact her now will result in her parents taking even more strict measures to keep the two of you from seeing each other.

 

When some time has passed, you can re-establish minimal contact. However, you are on notice from her parents that they don't want her involved with you at this time. If you go against their wishes, you could end for all time any future chances you might have with this lady...as well as complicate her life at home now.

 

So just cool your jets and give her some space. She's very young and has a lot of traveling to do before she settles down.

 

Meanwhile, if I were you I'd go out and look around for some ladies who are in the 18-19 year range, out of the "juvenile" category and have a good time.

 

There is no way of telling what the future might bring with the girl whose parents don't want you seeing anymore or with any other lady.

 

Have fun and don't worry about this!!!

[velvet]

You have only known each other for two months. Not two years or two decades. How can you possibly consider trying to keep something with this girl after knowing her a short time and against her parents consent!

 

You need to let in some time and distance between you until the air clears. Give yourself as well as the girls parents a couple of months. Explore other things, date, go to school, meet new people.

 

If after a couple of months you still wish to be with this girl than start considering charming the parents. Ask their permission to see her while under their supervision. That would mean you couldn't be alone with her but give you time to see her and have giving her parents the opportunity to know you.

 

When I was sixteen I was dating a guy who I thought was 21. One day I invited him over while living with my parents. Without telling them he was coming by I introduced him to them very quickly and than we went upstairs to the bedroom and made out for a couple of hours. I didn't see him to the door but never saw him again. Turned out my father had a talk with him and asked him not to see me any more. My father had told me that he looked at his drivers license found out that he was a 27 year old bum with out job still living with his parents.

 

So I suggest that you get on the parents good side, putting a few good stars in their book before pursuing a r/s with this young girl.

[lostplzhelp]

Well, we both, her and I have decided to ask her parents if we can just be friends. Besides all we did anyway was ride bikes/skate/help her with her homework/help her throw a rifle for school/and play basketball with her younger brother and sister.

 

We had a lot of fun. She is extremely upset right now and her parents have banned her from going online at all. When I talked to her mother on the phone, her and I were talking about the online thing. She was saying that what if she met some freak of a guy who tried to hurt this girl, instead of me.

 

I think I talked to her mom for like 30 minutes that night. No matter what she just looked at the age, but when I kept throwing out good things, she was saying how her daughter could not talk to her. I think she wants her daughter to explain to her things, to be more open. As they say they are open to her, but not her back.

 

What do you think? Do you think friends will be ok? We would really like that to be able to see each other for the things I mentioned above. Her little brother and sister both like me as well.

[velvet]

You could definitely try, after the air clears!

[clia]

Be careful.

 

The age difference wouldn't be a big deal, except that she is 16.

 

I don't know what state you are in, but that could make a difference.

 

The last thing you need is for her parents to slap you with a statutory rape charge. (I know you said you didn't do any sexual stuff, but they might think otherwise. And even if she consents, if she isn't in a state where 16 is consenting age, you could still be charged, which is something you don't want to deal with.)

 

I think you should move on and find other friends, at least for the next two years. It's just not worth it.

[Bill]

I wanted to let you know that I used the alias "lostplzhelp".

 

I was kinda confused at the time, and didn't want anyone to know that it was me yet. I really miss this girl, and I know of all the things that could get me in trouble in this situation, but i'm not going to allow that to happen. I know her parents have control over her till she is 18.

 

I just hope that they will allow us to be friends, then maybe in 2 years or so, if all goes well, we can continue the relationship.

 

I know you say "2 months" is that all? Well let me put it this way, this is the only girl that has ever believed in me, and that has ever respected me for who I am. She has not once asked me to change for her.

 

I had just messaged one of her friends online, and they had thought she was 18 too. She told me this, when I talked to her that Thursday night in person. She said that she told everyone that, because she thought that no one would like her for being her. She was telling me that she had to go with all these stories because no one would like her for being normal. I told her that she lied to the one person who would have accepted her for her.

 

She was and is very upset. I forgave her for this and she has since told me the truth about EVERYTHING I ask. I can understand what made this girl do this, so I can relate here.

 

We are currently trying to see if her parents would allow us to be friends. I will be moving back to college soon, so we want to be able to meet up again before that.

 

I really hope that everything works out.

 

My two previous girlfriends that I posted here about were nothing like this girl. When you told me to forget about them, it was possible. This is not a girl that I can forget about. We had something, and I'm sure of it. She knows it too.

 

Right now we are just trying to see if we can contact each other over phone, as we can rarely talk online as her account has been disabled.

 

I know to be careful, and I know to not upset her parents at all. We just want to ask them if we can be friends.

[AcidReflux]

I'm 39 and my live in girlfriend is 24. That age difference isn't that bad. When I was 20 I met my ex-wife. She was 16 soon to be 17. We were friends and I don't think we had sex until she was 18. I can't really recall, but that is my story and I'm sticking to it. That age difference was huge. She's still growing up and so are you. My advice is just be there. Hell, in two years that can't say anything about who she dates.

Acid~