Dadaal Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 I have been flirting with this girl at work for the last 3 months but things turned out abit out of hand. I came to work in the morning and she called out my name loudly and I went into her office and kissed her on the cheek which she did not disapprove it. At lunch table, she always sits next to me - I tried to change my seat and directions - here she is next to me. And the thing is that we are both in relationship. So guys or girls give me some advice if I have to break the here or if it is not necessary? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 How would you feel if the woman you are in a relationship with was acting the same way with another man at work? I think the answer is pretty obvious don't you? Link to post Share on other sites
LADYC Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 I been flirting with this guy at work for about a month now and I am in a relationship...and sometimes i feel like I am worng for doing so ....he always come up to me and put his arm around me, he tells me he missed me. Now I am falling for him I am developing feeling for him like crazy...I dont know what to do now. Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Totally inappropriate if you are in a relationship. If you were both dating, not big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
IWalkAlone Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Generally, would never do anything with a coworker (of either sex) that I wouldn't do if my SO was in the room with us. That's pretty much the test of what's appropriate or not. Dan Link to post Share on other sites
pennyjosix Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Why even be in a relationship if you are just going to flirt with other people? A relationship, unless you both have agreed it doesn't have to be exclusive, is supposed to be built on trust and care. Your partner obviously is misplacing their trust in you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dadaal Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 I been flirting with this guy at work for about a month now and I am in a relationship...and sometimes i feel like I am worng for doing so ....he always come up to me and put his arm around me, he tells me he missed me. Now I am falling for him I am developing feeling for him like crazy...I dont know what to do now. I guess we are both in the same situation! I think Iam falling for this girl, too. What I know for sure is that men and women don't flirt for no apparent reasons - something has to be there a connection or a click. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dadaal Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 Why even be in a relationship if you are just going to flirt with other people? A relationship, unless you both have agreed it doesn't have to be exclusive, is supposed to be built on trust and care. Your partner obviously is misplacing their trust in you. There is an old saying " No condition is permanent" - when you are in relationship does not mean you can't be attracted to someone else, neither your partner. For instance, why some people change their menu at home, work or even career is to get something new and different. There are others who don't like to change their preference, too. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Of course I think this type of behavior is wrong when in a relationship, but I'm taking another direction here. Relationships of any kind with a coworker can be damaging to your work life and employment. Some companies do not allow this at all, some only allow it if the two parties are not in the same department or what have you. Check your companies policy before proceeding. Then, PROCEED WITH CAUTION! Your financial future could be at stake. If things don't work out it could be very uncomfortable working with this person. Flings with coworkers happen because we spend more of our daily time with coworkers than with our friends, families, and significant others. Do not be deluded into believing that what you see at work is who this person is away from work. Many are completely different people. At work I am so organized, everything has it's place and anyone could easily sit at my desk and immediately be able to function in my position. At home, I am much more laid back. The laundry will still be there tomorrow, why bother with it today? Ar work I come across as very together and professional. At home I sometimes come across as a raging lunatic. Just want you to know that what you are seeing is not necessarily what you will get. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 So, choose whom you want. Are you married? Is she married? If so, then you both have no choice...your spouse is your choice. However, it doesn't sound like this is the case. But remember this, you both are committed right now to someone, and you both are technically cheating on that individual. So, it goes to reason that you both may cheat on each other at some point if you DO decide to get together. Do you want to be with a cheater? I assume no. So, in order for you to choose the flirting co worker, you must break off with your current partner. THEN and only then can you become serious with the co worker. And on another note...relationships with co workers don't usually last...but they may. And when they don't. you are forced to see that person everyday even if you do not want to see them. Keep that in mind. And yet another note ...many times we like how someone looks and acts because we cannot have them. Once we can, they lose some of their "brilliance" and attraction. Reality will set in when you smell morning breath. To make a fair comparison. put this co worker up against your current partner...while both are dressed as if at work and both are on their best behavior. Unfortunately your current partner is more familiar, so she will have a handicap. And the new person is like a Christmas gift waiting to be unwrapped. You choose. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Both of you should just dump your SOs and hook up. Otherwise, you'll forever be thinking about one another, with all the "what ifs". If you don't, you're probably gonna cheat anyways. So, it's either you do it the clean way, or you do it the ugly way. But, of course, you do know that, if you do hook up, you'll probably be the hottest topic on the office rumor mill. If you like to be the talk of the town, I'd say go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
pennyjosix Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 i understand that when you are in a relationship that can change... so change it if you don't want to be committed to one person. plain and simple. there is no grey area. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 . there is no grey area. actually there is quite a large "grey area" Link to post Share on other sites
pennyjosix Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 how so???????????? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 how so???????????? well...ideally and theoretically there is no grey area, but out in practice in the real world there is a very large grey area. Link to post Share on other sites
pennyjosix Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 well to me and the majority of my friends you get in a relationship to be committed to one person. And really, that's how it should be. This grey area you speak of is the area of wrong doing. With right and wrong in relationships it is black and white. It is wrong to purposely flirt with your co-worker and possibly attempt to take it to another level. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 With right and wrong in relationships it is black and white. i don't agree with that at all. relationships are totally subjective and based mainly on emotions. last I heard emotions are never just "black & white" Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 obviously 'cheating' isn't in AM's dictionary Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 obviously 'cheating' isn't in AM's dictionary cheating only applies to married couples cause they have taken a legal vow to only be with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
pennyjosix Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 well i should assume you would have this type of opinion considering you are the alpha male lol but hey..you have your opinion and i have mine. no big! Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 well to me and the majority of my friends you get in a relationship to be committed to one person. And really, that's how it should be. This grey area you speak of is the area of wrong doing. With right and wrong in relationships it is black and white. It is wrong to purposely flirt with your co-worker and possibly attempt to take it to another level. I'll step in and defend you from Alpha:D:D:D I agree with you, I think it's kinda stupid to step outside of a commited relationship as well. To me people who commit but can't stay commited are intellectually clumsy if you will. FYI...you seem new here, don't let Alph intimidate you too much he is very opinionated and occasionly has some valid points. Link to post Share on other sites
pennyjosix Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 oh im not intimidated by any means im a very opinionated person myself so it takes more than that to intimidate me! im just being respectful of his opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 To me people who commit but can't stay commited are intellectually clumsy if you will.. ha ha ha RDAR....you know who Ben Franklin was? He was one of the intellectual elites of the US but he had zero commitment to his wife and kids... Link to post Share on other sites
pennyjosix Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 people don't have to be "intellectually clumsy" in every aspect.. you hear about people being super book smart but having no common sense all the time.. ben franklin obviously didn't know loyalty as many people do not Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 ha ha ha RDAR....you know who Ben Franklin was? He was one of the intellectual elites of the US but he had zero commitment to his wife and kids... He should have changed his name from Ben Franklin to Ben Herandthere! Link to post Share on other sites
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