What's is the deal with men?

[wetspockette]

Okay- I have this friend who I met 6 years ago in another country but he is american. We hadn't spoken for at least 4 years and then out of the blue we get back in touch with one another. Well back in the day I had a crush on him. But now I'm much older wiser etc... not to mention involved with two other peoples. All three know about each other so there is no hiding or cheating... they know I'm Just Dating for the time being.

 

Anyhow, so this friend he and I start talking in september and sometimes around the beginning of October I invite him to a friends party in Las Vegas. I buy his ticket and he pays me for half. Well Halloween comes and he is unable to make it due to a snow storm. He lives in Colorado. I live in AZ. So at first I'm pissed because the the ticket is non refunable, etc. He manages to get the airlines to change it to december. And mind you he has changed it to a date in December where its not the most convienant but I can handle it. This past weekend the 14-18. Well I'm suppose to go see my family in california that weekend. So I say you know what that is fine. You can come with I can always use someone to help me drive.

 

So He gets here last thrusday, I pick him up from the airport, we have dinner. Where he orders a bottle of wine to celibrate the occassion etc. And he goes on to tell everyone in the resturant that we haven't seen each other in 6 years. I'm feeling a little giddy and light head from the wine, so by midnight when we left the place I'm a little loopy but ok enough to drive. So as we are walking out the resturaunt he says, " Do you even like me?"

 

And I stopped for a second and looked at him and thought how funny of a question is that. I mean of course I liked him I bought him a plane ticket didn't I? But I knew what he meant, he wanted to know if I LIKED-liked him. And because I have avoidance issues, I saidm " What are you crazy come get in the car."

 

We then drive to an adult store... we'd seen this place on the way to the restuarant where we'd eaten, and he'd asked before dinner if we could go there when we came out. I have no adversions to going into adult stores so I said yea. So the whole time we're in the store he's playing and flirting etc.

 

So the next day we head to California with my mother in the car as well. They spoke jovially with one another the whole way there. And then we check into our respective hotel rooms. While at the check in he tells me he has just about enough money to only cover the room and one meal. Now I knew he didn't have a lot of money in the first place so food wise I wasn't worried because I knew we'd eat with my family so it was no big deal. But then when I realized that meant he had no walking around money, I was like okay. Look I'll see what I can do.

 

Anywasy so we go up to our rooms, and I'm bunking with my mom. But he comes to our room and she and he start talking til 4 am. After he leaves to go to bed. My mom was like does he have enough money? During the course of the conversation he had with her, mind you I was sleep for most of it, I guess he'd told her that he wassn't working because he was in school full time etc. I told her no he didn't he had enough to cover the hotel for both nights but after that he'd be basically broke. Mind you none of this really bothers me... I'm use to the very give and take nature my friends and I have with each other.

 

At anyrate the weekend progresses. He says something that send my mother into a tissy the next day. She gives both of us the silent treatment, all the way back to AZ, and on Monday as well. He buys her a christmas gift and she disregards it and leaves it in my car etc. At which point I am not mortified at her behavior.

 

So monday comes along and its the first opportunity really he and I have had to spen quality alone time. Anywas during the course of the day and after the events of the weekend, he tells me that he was intimidated at first when he was coming to see me because I had accomplsihed so much etc. and he felt like he hadn't. I said it was no big deal... and he said no it is I've always been in awe of you... and your wondrful.

 

And I said okay if he could share something that honest with me then I could do the same. So I said I was nervous about you coming out as well.. Because back in the day I use to have a big crush on you when we were younger... and I didn't know how I would do with that looming in the back of my mind. And he said wait a minute... days ago when I asked you if you liked me you said no. I said yea I was startled and didn't know what to say. He said a simple yes would have done. I said I suppose so but I was nervous. He said and now? I said I'm not nervous and I do like you.

 

So this is hours before i'm to take him to the airport, we both moan over how its sucks that he's leaving to go back home etc. and that he wants me to come there in a month. I said I'll see what I can do. My schedule is a little more full then his... but I understand as to why he might not want to come back here to visit me just yet. But we also talk about him moving to AZ once he graduates this spring. He would really like to do that etc.

 

But unknown to me until I speak with my sister is all the crap my mother has said about him. Which mind you they were getting along smashingly -- and then he says one wrong thing which she comeptely blows out of portion and its over. So my sister tells me the real deal that my mother was pissed that he hadn't borught much money with him and then gotten testy. Mind you his testy-ness only came after we'd been holed up in two targets, and several stores while she shopped and it was raining etc... and it was after 2 am. I couldn't blame the man for wanting to go lay down.

 

Now here it is only a couple days after he has left I called him this afternnon to see how he is fairing the blizzard in CO... and we at first have anormal conversation, until he brings up my visiting him there and I tell him I'm not sure when I can come... and he says I thought we talked about you coming in a month. I said well we will see... he knows I just bought a house and moved into it over the last 2 days. My christmas present to myself. And besides all the stuff he's told me about his family scares the crap out of me... and he said well I braved yours. I said I know and I thank you. We have a few more words, and then he ends the call with .....

"Thank you for calling I appreciate it." -- in a very cold way.

I'm like okay no good bye.. he just hangs up.

I'm not sure what gives...

 

So I put it to the community---- what the hell??? I don't even know at this point if I should ever call him again.