Guest Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 I've been in a no contact situation with my family for several months now and have resolved to go over for Christmas and try to make amends. The problem is that I feel really uncomfortable and would prefer avoiding it altogether. The problem started several months ago when they were lecturing me about some issues I was having with work and my fiancee moving to a new town, and rather than being even slightly supportive, they started threatening me and telling me what a lowlife piece of crap I am and how I am too lazy and too selfish. There might have been some truth because I wasn't putting in 100% effort at work but then I learned they had called all of my old friends in town and told them about my financial and credit situation and betrayed me completely. I have no desire to go see them over Christmas, especially now that the people I would have hung out with know all about my debt and relationship breakup because my family told them everything, things that they had no business at all telling my friends, because they wanted to force me to do what they want by getting my friends on their side. Now they want me to go to the Christmas party and there is no one in my hometown that I feel comfortable around anymore. I don't want to see my family and I don't want to see my two old HS friends now that they know everything about my credit cards and breakup of my engagement, thanks to my family. And I'm tired of all of their emails and phone messages! Its not enough to humiliate me, now they want me to return their calls and show up all nicely dressed and pretend-happy?? Ugh. Don't know what to do - and no one there to turn to. Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Hi...I say don't go, don't forgive... You see, forgiveness is reserved for those that are actually sorry and try to make amends...and they'd have a lot of sorries to do for what they did. Being family doesn't give anyone the right to treat you like crap..so don't take it, if you go there it will only be more of the same I can almost guarantee it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Hi...I say don't go, don't forgive... You see, forgiveness is reserved for those that are actually sorry and try to make amends...and they'd have a lot of sorries to do for what they did. Being family doesn't give anyone the right to treat you like crap..so don't take it, if you go there it will only be more of the same I can almost guarantee it. WOW. I was just talking with a friend in Newfoundland on Yahoo IM about the same thing. He's going thru the EXACT same thing. But he's a wicked and wild guy and have brushed all that aside because the people that know all about his affairs aren't people he wants in his life anyways. And he's got a bunch of others pals so its no big deal. And he had to stand up to his family as well, and tell them to piss off because they were just making things worse even though they did help him see the light. So, a Christmas without them is something HE IS DOING because until they start treating him better what they are getting is what they gave out. Link to post Share on other sites
My Fair Katie Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 If you want to forgive and you want to get back into the family dynamic I would recommend waiting until after the New Year. At Christmas everything will just be swept under the rug in an effort to play happy families. It is far too stressful of a time for real family healing. Make plans on Christmas to spend it with people who will truly appreciate you, even if it means doling out food at the soup kitchen. Link to post Share on other sites
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