fell in love and need to start a new life...but

[cole]

I've been married for 17 yrs. have 4 kids and have fallen deeply in love with a woman...I have been seeing her for 3 yrs. the problem is getting her to start a life with me. her marriage is lost and so is mine...but she wont leave her youngest child and wont take him away from his father...what do I do. Its always a minute here and there with a weekend day once in a while.......help!!!!

[Cici]

Ouch! (That's for the cheated-on spouses, Bless 'em) Well, stolen time is usually what you get with affairs.

 

Unfortunatley, relationships are completely about mutuality. You want to start a new life, she doesn't. If you care about her, you'll respect her decision and not badger her until she feels torn between her husband, her child and her lover.

 

I'm pretty sure you'll bother her until she finally gives in to you, regardless of her needs and wants, though.

I've been married for 17 yrs. have 4 kids and have fallen deeply in love with a woman...I have been seeing her for 3 yrs. the problem is getting her to start a life with me. her marriage is lost and so is mine...but she wont leave her youngest child and wont take him away from his father...what do I do. Its always a minute here and there with a weekend day once in a while.......help!!!!

[Lianne]

I've been married for 17 yrs. have 4 kids and have fallen deeply in love with a woman...I have been seeing her for 3 yrs. the problem is getting her to start a life with me. her marriage is lost and so is mine...but she wont leave her youngest child and wont take him away from his father...what do I do. Its always a minute here and there with a weekend day once in a while.......help!!!!

She's right and you shouldn't try to persuade her otherwise if you really cared about her. In fact, if you really cared about her you wouldn't put her (and yourself) in the position of being an adulteress, you can be in love with her and be friends. RESPECT YOUR VOWS.