Another getting over the past situation

[pennyjosix]

Alright. I'm 18 and I first met my boyfriend when I had just turned 15. I was instantly attracted to him and got to know him soon after I met him and was hooked. Since our first conversation I have been absolutely infatuated with him; however, we lived in different states. I met him at my cousin's church because they lived in the same town. We hit it off, exchanged e-mail addresses, and became very close. We both had feelings for eachother. He has never had a gf and was not okay with long distance. He eventually met a girl that he began to have feelings for, and they became a couple. Even though he was dating her, he still had feelings for me. He took me on an emotional rollercoaster for 3 years because he wanted to date someone in his own town. I understand that but hey, let me go then. He would break up with her and say he wanted to be with me then get back with her. I'd come in town and he'd hang out with me a lot and what not but still be with her? His gf and I eventually began talking and needless to say she is very vindictive now that we are together. We have been dating for almost 8 months now and she still interferes and does some very childish things. She is about to turn 23 just fyi. I saved myself for him and he had always said he was going to wait til marriage but of course they had sex.

 

Now that we are together I'm still so bitter about the past. I love him, and I'm still crazy about him but I have my jealous, crazy girlfriend moments ALOT where the past haunts me. We still lives in two different states, and she still lives in the same town as him. I always wonder if he is playing me with her, I get upset about them having sex, I just wonder if he would do to me what he did to her. He claimed he loved her but still had me on the side (he never cheated on her with me but we still talked about feelings and hung out behind her back.. whatever).

 

Now I'm starting to just resent him. I get angrier and angrier everytime I hear her name, or something triggers me to think about how much pain he has caused me in the past. I want to move on because he is a GREAT guy now. He treats me wonderfully. I just can't seem to move on.

 

I know most of you are going to say past is past, I'm just jealousy, I need self-discipline blah blah blah. I'm not asking you to tell me what I am being like. I KNOW how I am acting. I want SOLUTIONS. An answer to free myself from my self-torture. So please just try to help me, not pick at my faults.

[Guest]

gawd, i know how it feels. i just saw a dating site called the dating field and my ex gf is on there!

 

ouch

 

guess i have to give up thinking we will ever be together again

 

life sucks man

[pennyjosix]

Please respond with your thoughts

[dropdeadlegs]

Long distance relationships are very hard for most people. I don't think it would work for me unless I saw us being together soon. Do the two of you have any plan in motion that will get you both in the same place?

 

I wish I had a magic spell that would get you over the jealousy you feel for this other woman he was once with. I think that if you were in the same town you might not feel this way. the reason it bothers you is because his words and actions haven't always been the same in the past.

 

If you don't have any idea or any plan in motion to get you both in the same place, I would suggest dating someone closer to home. Jealousy and uncertainty can eat you up inside. I understand that you have strong feelings for this guy, but what does he have that the other 3.5 billion guys in the world don't have? Unless a relationship is very strong and healthy to begin with, I wouldn't suggest trying to build one long distance without an end in sight.

 

Good luck to you. If that's you in your avatar, you're a very attractive young lady, even with all that hair in your face. I could find lots of guys who would be interested in dating you!

[pennyjosix]

He is trying to get his stuff together so he can tranfer to the university I attend. Yes, long distance is tough, but he is my best friend in the whole world. I do see him quite often. He lives where both of my parents grew up so I have lots of family around him and visit often. He's come and seen me a few times, but it's more convenient for me to come in town and see him and the family. 2 birds with one stone right? I've dated a lot, and I've always been the elusive girl. I would date a guy for a month or two and get bored. He does not bore me by any means. He is the first guy to have me hooked.