Is being unfaithful in our DNA? Here's your new thread

[pennyjosix]

Another thread spiralled into the topic that being unfaithful is in human's genetic makeup. Here's your chance to give your opinion and debate. Like I said in the other thread I am not a scientist so I cannot firmly say that it is not our in our DNA, but I do know I've never had the urge to cheat, and the thought of being unfaithful makes me sick. Maybe I don't have the unfaithful gene? Lucky me

[IpAncA]

Another thread spiralled into the topic that being unfaithful is in human's genetic makeup. Here's your chance to give your opinion and debate. Like I said in the other thread I am not a scientist so I cannot firmly say that it is not our in our DNA, but I do know I've never had the urge to cheat, and the thought of being unfaithful makes me sick. Maybe I don't have the unfaithful gene? Lucky me

 

You may not have the urge now BUT if your put in a position and given the right circumstance, it's possible to have that cross your mind.

 

I to could never see myself cheating but I wouldn't say that is could never happen because if it can then it's possible that it could. It's so easy to put yourself in a situation that could led to an affair. That's why I don't put myself in a position to get tempted.

 

Also I really don't believe that there's a cheating gene. To me that's just another way for people to justify what they did instead of admitting they screwed up and accepting the consequences.

[pennyjosix]

Rooster_DAR showed me an article about scientists researching that we are born that way. I don't personally think it is a gene but like I said earlier, I am not a scientist. I just need to be worried about myself and making the right decisions in my life.

[JackJack]

Wheather its in our DNA or not, the main thing is, its a choice. Its a choice to cheat or not.

[pennyjosix]

I strongly agree. It's nobody's fault but yourself if you choose to be unfaithful.

[IpAncA]

Rooster_DAR showed me an article about scientists researching that we are born that way. I don't personally think it is a gene but like I said earlier, I am not a scientist. I just need to be worried about myself and making the right decisions in my life.

 

 

lol!! Sorry but no amount of research is going to show me that there is a cheating gene.

 

Sorry not mocking you or anything but it just amazes me of what people try to justify to make their actions ok.

[pennyjosix]

You just never know ha.. i'm not going to disclude any theory on anything because I don't know FOR SURE. That's why I said I just have to worry about me.

[IpAncA]

You know this is the first time I've even heard anything about people saying it's in our DNA.

[JamesM]

Thank you for the new thread. I think it is a great topic.

 

No, I don't think it is in our DNA. The reason we seem to want to find a genetic connection for any behavior is so that we have an excuse. It goes back to "the devil made me do it" philosophy. If we can prove that we have no control over our bad behavior (ie addictions, adultery, etc.), then can can do such bad behavior without taking responsibility.

 

Too often when one looks at the origin of the study or the "scientists" who created the study, one finds that they have a bias or motive for their "research." As I get older (42), I become much more skeptical of studies that prove things. How many times haven't I heard that coffee is bad for me, is good for me, is bad for me...ad nauseum.

[pennyjosix]

Today is the first I've heard of it either, but then again I'm not trying to research it, and I doubt it would be all over the news or anything unless it was proven. *Shrugs*

[Rooster_DAR]

C'mon people, we are mammals are not much different than any other species other than we have an evolved intelligence. Life if all about evolving the species whether you want to believe it or not. The attraction to anyone is fundamentally at a biological and evolutionary level, to create a stronger species capable of survival.

 

The difference between us and the rest of our fellow living creatures is that we are not only more intelligent, we are also emotionally evolved. That gives us the advantage to interpret our feelings, and now we can make intelligent decisions based on what we know and not just on instinct. In a nutshell we do have the capacity to stay monogamous, although we are not naturally monogomous.

[IpAncA]

No, I don't think it is in our DNA. The reason we seem to want to find a genetic connection for any behavior is so that we have an excuse. It goes back to "the devil made me do it" philosophy. If we can prove that we have no control over our bad behavior (ie addictions, adultery, etc.), then can can do such bad behavior without taking responsibility.

 

Yep. Agree with you I do.

[Guest]

I think it is people who know it is wrong but will do it anyway. Where I work it is very common and every one knows about every one else's cheating. There are a few of us who dont do this but we appear to be rare.

 

I was approached by one who tricked me into going out to lunch alone with him and then tried to persuade me with his drivel. I was the 1st to not be swayed by him. I have thankfully been able to spot them a mile away and nothing such as money, senior position at work etc has ever led to me wanting to be some one's bit on the side.

 

I always think that I would be devastated if it happened to me and I would never knowingly do this to another woman. However, a number of my friends both male and female have no problem with this and a few are currently in relationships as a result of cheating. I always wonder what makes them think that they are so special that their partners wont do the same to them

 

What I find terrible is that a number of them at work go on to boast about celebrating their wedding aniversaries eg 20 years etc. I feel sick for their partners especially when they come to the office and everyone knows except for them.

 

Sorry but I have always felt strongly about this I dont think it has anything to do with DNA and everything to do with being selfish and wanting to have your cake and eat it too.

[Guest]

YAH, I WAS SOMEONE THAT SAID I WOULD NEVER CHEAT and its because of what boundaries i placed cheating under that made me do the wrong thing. see, up until my recent relationship i never even heard of EAs i always looked at cheating as getting it on with another in the hummina hummina style. so, when u think of things that way its easy to be blind and start chatting all sexy with a starnger in Hong Kong, or watch little snippets of porn of the computer and things like that - and if u add in cocaine and deprtession u are really gonzo.

 

but when u recover and straighten out your lid, it suddenly dawns on u that those things were whacked and unacceptable. now i see why they were left off the essay i handed in to my teacher because i hadn't done the work that would make me grow up. and now that i see these things for what they really are i am really happy and proud that i was sent to boot camp. i'd like to write that exam over now because i know i'd get an A+ but that teacher was soooooooooo disappoint in those papers before and my grade that she transfered to another university without leaving an address. so, i guess i should just be happy about what i have discovered and learned and grade my own work - LOOK AN A+ WOOO HOO

[Rooster_DAR]

Thank you for the new thread. I think it is a great topic.

 

No, I don't think it is in our DNA. The reason we seem to want to find a genetic connection for any behavior is so that we have an excuse. It goes back to "the devil made me do it" philosophy. If we can prove that we have no control over our bad behavior (ie addictions, adultery, etc.), then can can do such bad behavior without taking responsibility.

 

Too often when one looks at the origin of the study or the "scientists" who created the study, one finds that they have a bias or motive for their "research." As I get older (42), I become much more skeptical of studies that prove things. How many times haven't I heard that coffee is bad for me, is good for me, is bad for me...ad nauseum.

 

I disagree with this big time.

 

While I don't condone cheating (I'm totaly against it) or making any excuse for it doing so, I do understand that we are naturally not monogamous. Whether you believe in science and research or not, you cannot skate around the fact that people cheat because it's fundamentally driven by nature. It takes undertanding this concept to become a person that can stay monogamous, because you can pinpoint the feelings that arise when you find an attraction to someone else.

 

I directly relate ignorance to cheating, cause often the cheater doesn't understand what's going on inside of them, instead they try to pinpoint it as fate or something along those lines.

 

Cheers!

[Rooster_DAR]

Sorry but I have always felt strongly about this I dont think it has anything to do with DNA and everything to do with being selfish and wanting to have your cake and eat it too.

 

I agree here to an extent.

 

Okay I think you people are not understanding what I'm suggesting. I think cheating is selfish as well, we are smart enough of a species to know the damage it causes. This still does not mean we are not naturally prone to cheat, I know we are.

 

We are smart enough to make decisions, and when someone decides to cheat it is sometimes because they are selfish and want their cake, but many times it's also not understanding their feelings and undeveloped boundaries due to ignorance if you will.

[tanbark813]

Not to put down the OP but the question isn't valid because you're relating things that really have no relation in the first place. Cheating is a societal/sociological concept and DNA has nothing to do with that. DNA defines our biological makeup. You can argue that it's in our DNA to procreate, but that has nothing to do with whether or not that's within the confines of a monogamous relationship or not.

 

You can also argue that our genetic makeup predisposes us to have high sex drives that can't or aren't always be satisfied within a monogamous relationship but, at best, that's saying that DNA only has an indirect influence on cheating. To say that there is an actual gene that causes unfaithfulness is an oversimplification.

[milvushina]

You can argue that it's in our DNA to procreate, but that has nothing to do with whether or not that's within the confines of a monogamous relationship or not.

 

Well, I think some research points to monogamy being genetically determined.. consider the famous vole (I don't remember which species of vole) that is highly monogamous, and by messing around with its natural balance of neuro-transmitters researchers could make its behavior promiscuous.

 

I know choosing the "middle ground" is often seen as just not having an opinion, but I really think humans do fall into the middle ground between monogamy and promiscuity. Lots of evidence points to ball size being a clue about the tendency to be monogamous. And compared to our closest relatives, chimps and gorillas and such, we have an in-between ball size. Not huge like the promiscous chimps and not small like the monogamous gorillas. In between. The tendency to be promiscuous is there, but also there is a natural tendency to monogamy.

 

That's what I think!!

[Storyrider]

I am not a scientist at all so take this with a grain of salt. But could it be that it is better for the gene pool if a man procreates with more than one woman, so that if the first genetic combination isn't strong, the later offspring provide more variety in the species?

 

It would probably work with women spreading the love as well; however, (at least in prehistoric times) women would have a stronger incentive to stick with the strongest male, as he would be the best protector/provider.

 

That being said, our humanity gives us the ability to apply reason, morality, and free will to any biological predisposition we might have.

[Rooster_DAR]

Well, I think some research points to monogamy being genetically determined.. consider the famous vole (I don't remember which species of vole) that is highly monogamous, and by messing around with its natural balance of neuro-transmitters researchers could make its behavior promiscuous.

 

I know choosing the "middle ground" is often seen as just not having an opinion, but I really think humans do fall into the middle ground between monogamy and promiscuity. Lots of evidence points to ball size being a clue about the tendency to be monogamous. And compared to our closest relatives, chimps and gorillas and such, we have an in-between ball size. Not huge like the promiscous chimps and not small like the monogamous gorillas. In between. The tendency to be promiscuous is there, but also there is a natural tendency to monogamy.

 

That's what I think!!

 

I agree here to a certain extent too. However; I still believe the tendency to be promiscous is a natural one, and the ability to remain monogamous is an intelligent choice.

[Rooster_DAR]

That being said, our humanity gives us the ability to apply reason, morality, and free will to any biological predisposition we might have

 

This is simply the point I am trying to make.

 

Regardless of who is right or wrong here, fundamentally your statement is right on target.

 

Excellent!

[milvushina]

I agree here to a certain extent too. However; I still believe the tendency to be promiscous is a natural one, and the ability to remain monogamous is an intelligent choice.

 

I think it is an intelligent choice, and that the choice is also influenced by our genetics, not completely contrary to them.

I think that evolution is not "smart," like we are, and doesn't always make sense; contradictory traits can develop side by side. Especially if they are beneficial in different situations, I would think.

 

But of course I want that to be true also, so I'm probably biased. And so I'm fully willing to admit you might be right!

[Rooster_DAR]

I think it is an intelligent choice, and that the choice is also influenced by our genetics, not completely contrary to them.

I think that evolution is not "smart," like we are, and doesn't always make sense; contradictory traits can develop side by side. Especially if they are beneficial in different situations, I would think.

 

But of course I want that to be true also, so I'm probably biased. And so I'm fully willing to admit you might be right!

 

I agree that evolution is not smart, but it occasionally does something right or we wouldn't be here having this conversation.

 

Evolution is a series of experiments, or tinkering of the genes if you will.

 

[JamesM]

Actually, tanbark, it is valid because there are studies supposedly saying that cheating is in our DNA. So, OP is asking if any or rather how many believe this to be true.

 

Rooster, the fundamental difference between you and I is that you believe that highly complex "animals" such as man down to the simplest one cell amoeba all started from a random throwing together of non-living material. Somehow over millions of years we have evolved. Based on that theory, then one can easily say that intelligence evolved and everything we do is a matter of instinct or natural actions.

 

And yes, I believe that this theory takes more faith than simply believe that there is some intelligent beginning. In fact, I think one can easier believe the ideas that are the basis for the Sci Fi TV series Star Gate (great show by the way). Here they propose that human life on earth began from a superior race from another planet. All of the evidence is displayed in our archeology. And many truly believe this...Zechariah Sitchin and David Ickes as examples. (Of course, then we must ask where the aliens came from).

 

Unfortunately, whether one believes in a creation or an evolution, one cannot simply explain our actions away as a result of some natural instinct. And if we suppose that your logic is correct, Rooster, then in no way, and I mean no way, can you blame someone for following his or her natural instincts. If cheating on a partner is what comes naturally, then women must accept this as a natural behavior from their men. (BTW, do you realize that very few women propose this idea? Wonder why?) And they must be happy if they are lucky enough to get a man who genetically has evolved to control those instincts or no longer has them.

 

Now to follow the evolution train of thought. If we have evolved our natural instincts based on survival, then the structure of family is necessary for man's survival as a society. So, logically one has to believe that we have evolved to develop natural behaviors to prevent the breakup of the family. And if that were the case, we should after a few thousand years of society have developed our natural behavior as one of monogamy. So, by this time, our natural tendencies are actually monogamous not polygamous.

 

However, it also goes to reason that some people haven't developed their natural instincts fully. So those humanoids who are not monogamous must be excused as a throwback to their primitive side, and they must not be blamed for that which they cannot control. Rather they must be pitied and terminated if we as a society are to survive.

 

So, either we have one or the other. If it is in our DNA, then we are blamesless. If it is only behavior, then we are responsible.

[westernxer]

Not sure about the gene perspective, but some (or most) people are motivated by impulse rather than principle.

 

For the sake of prolonging the species we are somewhat animal, but we also need order to preserve and protect the species. Sometimes things get distorted.

 

Still trying to work this out...