Guest Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 I've been with my girlfriend for a year. I love her and i didn't realise how much until today.Last night i was really drunk, i'm 21 and i kissed a much older women who came on to me. It was a horrible kiss and i feel sick to think of it now. It didn't go any further, thankfully. I'm not saying it wouldn't of because the oppertunity wasn't there. I feel quite confident it wouldn't of progressed though. Anyway when i first woke up today i decided i wasn't going to tell her but now im unsure. Does she really need to know? I know i will never do this again. For starters i'm not going to go out to drink anymore, and i'm going to put 100% more into my relationship. I just don't know wether to tell her. I don't want to loose her but most importantly i don't want to hurt her by telling her. She hasn't got a bad bone in her body and i can't believe i could ever do this. What should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
HereToStay62 Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 I wouldn't tell her. It would only make her feel bad and you less guilty. You are lucky nothing else happened. Put it pass you but learn your lesson and watch your alcohol intake, you should never drink so much that you forget who you are. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Don't tell her. If it was just one kiss and you truly feel horrible about it and you were my BF, I don't want to know. It will only make me question you and distrust you in the future. I WANT to trust you. I NEED to trust you. But don't you EVER do it again! Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedSarah Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 I've been with my girlfriend for a year. I love her and i didn't realise how much until today.Last night i was really drunk, i'm 21 and i kissed a much older women who came on to me. It was a horrible kiss and i feel sick to think of it now. It didn't go any further, thankfully. I'm not saying it wouldn't of because the oppertunity wasn't there. I feel quite confident it wouldn't of progressed though. Anyway when i first woke up today i decided i wasn't going to tell her but now im unsure. Does she really need to know? I know i will never do this again. For starters i'm not going to go out to drink anymore, and i'm going to put 100% more into my relationship. I just don't know wether to tell her. I don't want to loose her but most importantly i don't want to hurt her by telling her. She hasn't got a bad bone in her body and i can't believe i could ever do this. What should i do? Did you go with any friends who know your girlfriend and would tell her? If so it might be best to tell her before they spring it through a grapevine, if not then don't tell her. What she doesn't know wont hurt her. If she does find out somehow then blame it on being drunk..the night was just a fuzzy blur at that point . Link to post Share on other sites
pennyjosix Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Since you are making the changes for that oppurtunity to never arise again, you could consider telling her. If she really loves you hopefully she will be able to forgive you and want to stay in a relationship with you. You aren't going to forget what happens, and if you decide to tell her way later on it will be worse in my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Road Rage Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 You should not tell her. But, you do need to do penance. I suggest donning sackcloth and ashes and chant lamentations on the steps of the nearest courthouse for about 5 hours tommorrow morning. Go in peace my son, your sins are forgiven:cool: Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Did anybody see you kiss this lady? And what if this lady tells your girlfriend... That is the only thing I can see causing problems, if your gf finds out from someone else. Can you live with yourself and feel OK about it if you don't tell her about the kiss? Atleast you know it was wrong and you are going to change your ways, stop drinking so much etc...And also, don't put yourself IN a situation where you might be tempted to kiss someone...Or don't let any other girl kiss you anymore. Say no. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Thanks for the advice guys. After hours and hours of thinking about it i've decided that i'm not going to tell her. It's too close to christmas for starters. I wouldn't want to ruin it for her. Besides why should i chance ruining my relationship for a ****ty 10 second kiss that didn't mean anything. I was drunk. It's not really a good excuse i know. I'll have to live with the guilt and regret for however long our relationship will last. But it will be worth feeling like that if it means her being happy. If she finds out however, I'll tell her the truth about everything. Which will include telling her exactly how much i love her. If she finishes with me then i'll not persue it and make her feel bad. It's all i will deserve. I know it's kind of overreatcting being it just a kiss, It's just something i would of never done. And i'll do everthing in my power to stop it happening again. Infact i know it will never happen again. The thing is, my previous relationship involved getting messed up by a serial cheater and lier. So it reinforced my beliefs about not cheating. That's why i think it's so hard to understand what i've done. Anyway thanks for the advice guys. I appreciate it alot. I'll let you know of any developments if they happen. Luke x Link to post Share on other sites
Vertex Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 I'm not going to suggest one choice or the other, as I think they both have their valid points, but as I look from the perspective of the other, I would be upset if my girlfriend kissed a guy and never told me about it. Ignorance isn't bliss to me -- most people don't want to tell because they want to keep their asses covered. Even if *you* wouldn't want to know if your SO kissed someone, maybe they would on the flipside. It's a tricky situation best avoided by not kissing other people, haha. What always gets me about the drunken-stories is that people will tend to justify cheating by saying there was alcohol involved so they weren't thinking straight. The fact of the matter is, it doesn't justify it. People are in control of what they put in their bodies at social scenes, and overdrinking is a function of one's own will. Even when one is drunk they know what's going on, there's just a certain level of apathy and lack of motor control... especially since you actually remember the kiss, you must have not been drunk enough to be unable to realize what you were doing. Just try to keep your SO's best interests in mind, is all I am saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest789 Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 I agree with most of what you've said. Apart from the being drunk thing. I have friends that are quiet as mice, and they would never do anything wrong and hardly speak up in big crowds. However when they are drunk they can pick fights, and are mostly the loudest person there. Completely out of character. Drink can change a persons perception. I believe people that wouldn't normally cheat in their sober state, could quite easily cheat while drunk. Link to post Share on other sites
Madeamistake Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 Since you are making the changes for that oppurtunity to never arise again, you could consider telling her. If she really loves you hopefully she will be able to forgive you and want to stay in a relationship with you. You aren't going to forget what happens, and if you decide to tell her way later on it will be worse in my experience. I agree with penny. You need to tell her. Be honest with her and let her know what has happened as the both of you are in the relationship! Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
fundamental Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 Don't tell her. If you do tell her, she may want to stay in the relationship but will never trust you again. I would advise you to change your ways. After this all settles, temptation will happen again. YOU don't let it happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
jobaba Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 1) Don't tell her. I have many friends in happy relationships who would not be if their gf's knew about ANY or ALL of their infidelities. Sad, but true. UR a nice guy for feeling bad about a kiss at all... 2) 10 seconds is actually kinda long for a kiss to a stranger. 3) All of those little thoughts that run through your head all day. These are thoughts you are more likely to act on when drunk. There is a line you cross when drunk, and I don't think that line is that far from sobriety. How hot was the girl at the bar and how much do you like your girlfriend? If those factors were a little different, you probably don't kiss her. Link to post Share on other sites
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