Author engravefeelthevoid Posted January 2, 2007 Author Share Posted January 2, 2007 yah its true....i think it comes when u least expect it...happened to my friend who was always desperate...and out of nowhere...a girl came and it all wen perfect between them...shes his first gf now....and things are going great with them Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 If 5 years after HS you still never had a gf then I'll feel a little bad for you. But your 17 you shouldnt feel bad if the things youve been trying the past 5 years hasnt worked. Do u know how different I look now from when I was 17 I even grew a little taller so dont bash ur looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author engravefeelthevoid Posted January 3, 2007 Author Share Posted January 3, 2007 lol actually im 19 going to 20 in march....i dunno y i put it 17 when i registered anyways...maybe it is the same thing...maybe i do have time for all that....or i should work on myself more and be patient..who knows... Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted January 6, 2007 Share Posted January 6, 2007 Listen, I didn't really date anyone until after COLLEGE and if I look back at why I was largely dateless in HS and college, it was because I lacked confidence and was self-conscious about my appearance. I was also immature in some ways and just not ready for a relationship. During this period, at times I thought I would never meet anyone and I wondered what was wrong with me. I compared myself to other women all the time - what do they have that I don't? Why do the guys like those girls and not me? etc. Which was extremely self-defeating and a stupid way to think about things. Basically, I needed time to "come into my own", to get comfortable with myself and to create a life I enjoyed and was proud of. Fast forward a decade (after 3-4 significant relationships): today I am beating the men off with a stick. Why? I'm self-confident, I love my work, I have fun hobbies, I have great friends, I don't *need* a man (and therefore I don't send off the desperate vibe). Bottom line: don't get stuck thinking that your dating life at 19 years old is what your dating life is always going to look like. As other posters have said, the real work you need to do is probably internal...and will probably take some time. But it's possible. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
clatan Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 You mean you dont see 5 women every day? At the store, the gas station, the mall, the coffe shop, etc... I'm saying talk to 5 women a day "Hi <smile>, hows your day going?" is enough. They will either talk back or not. No. I'm doing good if I see one a week. You should live in rural northwest Missouri. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 your totally right. some guys just don't have it to get girlfriends..i am one of those; 22 yrs. old; i have been asked to model, all my girl friends think i'm gorgeouse. i stand 6'3 and weight 250lbs solid muscle, strong as an ox,playing college football, plan on going to law school, potentially will go to the NFL, already have a sweet luxury sedan my rich parents gave to me. I can get numbers anytime i want - doesn't matter if there married or have boyfriends. - have never been turned down or been given the wrong number. Have slept with married women, hot women,women with boyfriends. I seemingly have everything a guy could possibly want but don't get me wrong I'm just as miserable as you. Im lonely sometimes, women never want to get evolved with me for some reason. Im definitely not the over attached type of guy but if i don't have sex with them the first night i met them; its so far 100% that nothing will come of it . random sex is great but sometimes and it was been getting old. i speculate and think i'm missing out on something. It might be nice to see what a girlfriend is like. It really suck cause i go out and if i talk nice & sincerely to a women cause i like her and want to be myself ,nothing comes of it so i'm forced to be a pompous ass whole when i want to meet chick and its works always but i then am forced into being something i'm not - a dick. so your right you defiantly are either born boyfriend material or you aren't Link to post Share on other sites
Pubert Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Seriously. Whining isn't going to change a thing. You need to work from your strengths, what are they? How can you best put across your strengths? Get a hobby or something, something that will put you out there and say "this is who i am." You start letting people know who you are en masse eventually someone will like what they see/hear. Patience, man, patience. I have awful luck with girls too but I've got a lot of numbers before (some of them were fake and none were girls who were compatible with me) simply because I love to perform and I express myself through that venue. Dating is about expressing yourself, at least in my mind. Don't get hung up on looks, they all fade eventually anyway. Don't ask yourself "why aren't girls attracted to me" but more "why am I not attractive to girls?" and work on some of those issues. But no major personality changes, yeah? People will see right through insincerity. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 I happen to agree with Blackmirage and believe that looks and luck for that matter play a part in finding a girlfriend and if you havent got it dosent matter how nice a person you are you will be everyones freind and nobodys boyfreind I am 40 and have been single for 17 years, during this time i have only had 3 dates none of which turned in to second dates and have been turned down by approxiately 60 women during this period. I am very social and have no problems in approaching and talking to women. I have many female freinds two of whome class me as there best freind and have a large group of freinds. I am also suscessfull and am told that i always look smart. My female freinds tell me that they know of no reason why i can not find a girlfreind and i have had women say they like me and feel comfortable with me as they feel safe, perhaps that is the problem but whatever i am percieved always as a nice man a good frend but not my type and it is safe to say that i do not appear to be anyones type. I am generally outgoing, enjoy dancing by contrast one of my male freinds is shorter and fatter than me, very quite, unemployed and still lives at home with his parents but is always having women approach him. As has been siad before you either got it or you aint and i truely beleive that but i wont let this get me down and concentrate on what im good at and have a truely great life, althouth it would be nice to have a partner but that is life and i guess we can not have it all Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 Having * lots of female friends * and getting no Romance is like a shotgun blast to your head if you continue to * pal up * the girls instead of making a romanctic move or gesture. Get out of the friends zone and STAY out. Guys don't need 53 female buddies. He has guy friends. Guys who want romance need to make a MOVE and pretty quick , by say the 2nd or 3rd date ; kiss , caress or something close .... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 Mary3, it would be nice if i was getting the dates to be able to make a move on them. The girls i ask out for dates all decline and i am talking 60 consecutive declines on the go. My female freinds are good freinds of mine some of whome i have know very closely for over 20 years. My soicial circules revoles around a mixed group of some 30 close people including couples and singles of both sexes who is see frequently and an extended group of friends of at least 30 people who i see on less frequent basis. It is fair to say that my life is a social wirl. The problem is simply this that while i ask the girls out on dates and these are not the girls with whome i am freinds at that time, they decline although many of them have gone on to date freinds of mine after rejecting me and have latter become freinds in this wider social circle. I frequent clubs and live music venues on a weekly basis with my freinds who appear to have no problems findind dates from these venues. I on the other hand always seem to chat to the girl who is unaviable and waiting for her boyfriend to arrive, bad luck, bad karma or just life but as i said before you have either got it or you havent Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 look i dont expect you to relise what your doing wrong because u probably would have corected it then, but I gaurantee I would find ur problem if I could study you at these clubs and the way you interact. I dont know how you ended up with somany female friends if your actualy trying hard I mean most girls wont be freinds with you if youve made a serious attempt at getting with them and their not interested and if they are friends with you after youve gone in and tried to kiss them or invited them back to ur place and stuf like that why have you stoped trying to steal those kiss's or caress them and stuff like that... Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Mary3, it would be nice if i was getting the dates to be able to make a move on them. The girls i ask out for dates all decline and i am talking 60 consecutive declines on the go. My female freinds are good freinds of mine some of whome i have know very closely for over 20 years. My soicial circules revoles around a mixed group of some 30 close people including couples and singles of both sexes who is see frequently and an extended group of friends of at least 30 people who i see on less frequent basis. It is fair to say that my life is a social wirl. The problem is simply this that while i ask the girls out on dates and these are not the girls with whome i am freinds at that time, they decline although many of them have gone on to date freinds of mine after rejecting me and have latter become freinds in this wider social circle. I frequent clubs and live music venues on a weekly basis with my freinds who appear to have no problems findind dates from these venues. I on the other hand always seem to chat to the girl who is unaviable and waiting for her boyfriend to arrive, bad luck, bad karma or just life but as i said before you have either got it or you havent With * any * of these girls as friends you now have : Did you attempt at any time to make a move on one of them ? Link to post Share on other sites
tommyr Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 BlackMirage, Here is my advice: 1. Lighten up and stop being so down on yourself. Nothing in this world is a bigger turnoff than a negativity and lack of self-confidence. 2. Increase your involvement in non-work activities: hobbies, sports (not golf or NASCAR.. stuff like rollerblading that women sometimes like), charitable events, music, church, even pancake breakfasts at the local volunteer fire department for-crying-out-loud. 3. Do you have any lady friends (non-romantic)? You really should! There is no better way to meet a new girl than to have a close female friend introduce you. Tell your lady friends you are interested in dating somebody new and do they know anybody. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 With * any * of these girls as friends you now have : Did you attempt at any time to make a move on one of them ? Yes i have done but they made it clear that they were not interested in me like that but also made it clear that they found me fun to be with and wanted to be friends. I have also spoke to mutual freinds and the responce has been she really likes you but she just dosent fancy you. This is typical of the responce and has happened on quite a few occasions. I also attempt to chat up random girls i meet but while i have a laught with them they decline the romantic advances i make. I am strangley in the postion that none of the people i know, know any single girls outside of our imediate social circle and it is fair to say in the city i live which has close naval links that there is a higher population of males to females Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 Yes i have done but they made it clear that they were not interested in me like that but also made it clear that they found me fun to be with and wanted to be friends. I have also spoke to mutual freinds and the responce has been she really likes you but she just dosent fancy you. This is typical of the responce and has happened on quite a few occasions. I also attempt to chat up random girls i meet but while i have a laught with them they decline the romantic advances i make. I am strangley in the postion that none of the people i know, know any single girls outside of our imediate social circle and it is fair to say in the city i live which has close naval links that there is a higher population of males to females BINGO ! These girls are just not interested in you romantically. They prefer to be your Buddy. I would get some refresher courses on your wardrobe , your techniques and ask others how your approach is going ? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 BINGO ! These girls are just not interested in you romantically. They prefer to be your Buddy. I would get some refresher courses on your wardrobe , your techniques and ask others how your approach is going ? Thanks for your advise. I am told i by my freinds that i always look smart, perhaps for this reason i stand out as my freinds tend to dress scrufier, i dont know if this is a good or bad thing but i am comfortable with the way i dress and dont wear t shirts prefering shirts etc (not suits) and shoes to trainers. My freinds both male and female tell me that they can not understand why i am not involved with someone that i have everything going for me and am very social and popular, have a good job etc. They all say they can not believe the lack of luck i have and can think of no reason for mypersitant failure or offer any advice. I even spoke to a girl i was trying to date who rejected me and went out with one of my freinds why she had chose my freind over me. The answer was your a really nice guy but i think of you as a freind and your not my type when it comes to romance. The girl in question latter became a good freind of mine. So the truth is i dont know where i am going wrong and neither do my freinds but the bottom line is woman only want me to be there freind and not there boyfreind to the point that some of my female freinds have finished relationships with there boyfriends when they could not accept our freindship and i am normally the person they turn to in a crisis. Well you either got it or you aint and i havent where romance is concerned but i am lucky to have very close freinds who i can rely on. Link to post Share on other sites
alextop30 Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 Ok there are a million things that I will never understand about women or girls - members of the opocite sex. But the one thing that I have found so far that seems to work for my ideology is that "you should never rush relationships". I am 19 I have had sex only once, cant even remember clearly because I was a little drunk, I dont have a girlfriend. I can talk to women tho, I have no problem talking to girls having them in a conversation where they feel good and feel like they can talk to me. I have friends that are girls that are out of my league and that think of me as their brother and have asked me to help them with revenge on previous boyfriends. That is beside the fact, I believe that when you meet that special girl something different should happen - such as slurred speach, repeating yourself 100 times, you can feel your heart beating in your throat and you cannot keep your eyes off of this girl as well as you cannot get her out of your mind, constantly day dream. If you are out just to find a girl friend it does not work - I only found sisters even though I do have feelings for them and I have told it to them many times. But when you go on without anoying yourself that you cannot get a girlfriend you will kind of see that one girl that makes something seem different - IT does not have to be the girl of your dreams. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 alextop u make no sense you described heart beating in chest falling head over heals for a girl who is not the girl of ur dreams? look when it comes to women ive become a master of sorts atleast at picking them up. first off mr guest these girls who r still ur friends but know u have the hots for them... whats stoping you from trying again and again if they keep inviting you around them why do you just let them turn you into a friend. If they say I just want to be friends why dont you come over to dinner you say fine and then try to plant a kiss on them at the end.. then if they say not cool I just want to be friends and keep inviting you around them you keep trying to get what you want and I gaurantee that one of two things will happen they wont want to see you any more or they will start to reciprocate. U dont have a girl friend because you dont have any passion and you just do things in a friendly I'm up for anything you want kind of way. You may have a good job and be a nice guy but in less you run into an agrassive girl who happens to like you your going to be single for the rest of your life inless you make one simple change, take initiative and see things to the ned you dont just give up and become friends with a girl you wanted I dont even know how that happens really ... Ive never just ended up good friends with a girl I wanted Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 alextop u make no sense you described heart beating in chest falling head over heals for a girl who is not the girl of ur dreams? look when it comes to women ive become a master of sorts atleast at picking them up. first off mr guest these girls who r still ur friends but know u have the hots for them... whats stoping you from trying again and again if they keep inviting you around them why do you just let them turn you into a friend. If they say I just want to be friends why dont you come over to dinner you say fine and then try to plant a kiss on them at the end.. then if they say not cool I just want to be friends and keep inviting you around them you keep trying to get what you want and I gaurantee that one of two things will happen they wont want to see you any more or they will start to reciprocate. U dont have a girl friend because you dont have any passion and you just do things in a friendly I'm up for anything you want kind of way. You may have a good job and be a nice guy but in less you run into an agrassive girl who happens to like you your going to be single for the rest of your life inless you make one simple change, take initiative and see things to the ned you dont just give up and become friends with a girl you wanted I dont even know how that happens really ... Ive never just ended up good friends with a girl I wanted If I am not romantically interested in a man the LAST thing I want him to do is kiss me.... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 11, 2007 Share Posted March 11, 2007 alextop u make no sense you described heart beating in chest falling head over heals for a girl who is not the girl of ur dreams? look when it comes to women ive become a master of sorts atleast at picking them up. first off mr guest these girls who r still ur friends but know u have the hots for them... whats stoping you from trying again and again if they keep inviting you around them why do you just let them turn you into a friend. If they say I just want to be friends why dont you come over to dinner you say fine and then try to plant a kiss on them at the end.. then if they say not cool I just want to be friends and keep inviting you around them you keep trying to get what you want and I gaurantee that one of two things will happen they wont want to see you any more or they will start to reciprocate. U dont have a girl friend because you dont have any passion and you just do things in a friendly I'm up for anything you want kind of way. You may have a good job and be a nice guy but in less you run into an agrassive girl who happens to like you your going to be single for the rest of your life inless you make one simple change, take initiative and see things to the ned you dont just give up and become friends with a girl you wanted I dont even know how that happens really ... Ive never just ended up good friends with a girl I wanted Well i think that something i cant do. I honestly believe if a girl is interested in you that they will take you up on your advances. I don't believe you can brow beat someone in to submission and think that is fundamentally wrong. I have told these girls how i feel and they know the score and yes i have asked more than once so if circumstances change as they get to know me they know that the door is open for them but i will not continuously pester them. And yes KMT i know what you mean about something being different, been there done that failed trying Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 You need to worry less about whether a girl is going to be pestered by you and try the confident honest approach. you should waltch the movie hitch or just friends Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 lol, Hitch. It was so funny, especially the scene when they act out the first kiss at the doorstep. I remember I almost cried, I was laughing so hard. As for getting a girl, be confident, let her know you're interested by flirting with her and the rest nature will take care of. As for good-looking guys getting any girl they want, guess again. If anything, it's the confidence that gets the girl. Link to post Share on other sites
LIGHT Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 You need to worry less about whether a girl is going to be pestered by you and try the confident honest approach. you should waltch the movie hitch or just friends I like this site so much i joined. I do try the confident approach, i have no trouble asking girls for dates or talking to them. I just get responces ranges from no thank you, can we keep it just friends i dont think of you that way to comments which i wont print on public forum. I havent seen either of the films you mention so will try them but as i have said before my freinds are out of ideas and as baffled as me Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 spontaneity my friend... If a girl crosses the line and disrespects you, you put your foot down. Joke around, be playful and tease her. I think one of the biggest reasons why guys fail with women is because they are uncomfortable in their own skin. A lot of what we communicate when we interact is with facial expressions and body language - if you fail to exhibit that you're having a good time and you have confidence...it will come out like a vibe. Kinesthics (kino) put your hand on a girls arm or back/waist if you want to up the intimacy. it shows you're sexually interested in her and arent a 'nice guy'. Let me tell you most (if not all) women will feel offended if a guy doesnt show he's romantically/sexually interested in her - the biggest insult is with no kiss by the end of date 1 or 2 (especially if she's anticipating it). Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 remember dont be afraid to lose them by saying something they might not like, suc as no I dont want to be your friend I wanted to shove my toungue down your throaght squeeze ur boobs and make u orgasm like it were some carnivale game for me... use inu endo's and if they call u a letcher turn it around on them and calll them pervs for thinking it and explain ur only intentions were pure Link to post Share on other sites
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