lindya Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 .let's say that a perso is looking for a girlfriend but is least concerned about her physical well-being....and he gets introduced to a sub-moderate girl with a strange voice, ugly face, zig-zag teeth and fat all over her I haven't seen that many women out and about who fit such a description. The majority of people just fall into that vast ocean that lies between spectacularly stunning and Quasimodo. good looking people are always being chased....they always endup with the people they love...even if it doesnt work out later on.... That doesn't really make sense. People will often say to a pretty woman "you can have any man you want"...but what if ten equally (if you can measure such a thing) pretty women all want an exclusive relationship with the same man? They're not all going to get what they want, are they? Also, the same woman can look fabulous one evening, and not too hot another. Never underestimate the power of make up, flattering clothes and a good hair day. ....a successful wife can cheer her husband up...take care of his everyday life needs (food clothes heigene.......), You might need to rethink a few things. I don't dispute that a lot of wives get involved in helping their husbands to pick out clothes, and sometimes buy them for them....but taking responsibility for his personal hygiene? That seems a little unusual. Where do you live? Link to post Share on other sites
Lowcountryman Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 Sounds to me that you may have been turned down by some extremely hot chick and that has scared you for life. Dude, you can't pretend to be someone you're not, that will show to a woman faster than anything, they can see through it. Just be yourself and if that isn't good enough then to hell w/them, you'll eventually find someone who likes you for who you are. Do things that you like to do and you'll find someone there w/similar interests. Sometimes I think I "got it" and sometimes I don't have it. It's alot of hit and misses but 9K over 5 years is alot of women, try to have a decent conversation w/may 3-4 a week. Don't give up but continue to work on yourself and before you know it you'll have someone. Good luck and keep your head up, women love a man who's confident. Link to post Share on other sites
Author engravefeelthevoid Posted December 26, 2006 Author Share Posted December 26, 2006 about the clothing and the heigene....I meant washing his clothes and cleaning the house regularly to ensure cleaness....lol i laughed so hard cuz i felt i was waaay behind.....anyways and Lowcountryman, I have been rejected this once that made me reconsider EVERYTHING in my life....and this once i was faces by a girl's brother who was gonna kill me.....but afterwards I did continue the persuit and didnt give up untill recently......i dunno let me ask somethng.....what do you guys think people like me should do now?......like I lost all self-confidence..all hope..i was discussing this to release the tension.... I wanna see where this can get Link to post Share on other sites
Lowcountryman Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 Well I'll tell you about 4-5 months back I had lost all self confidence I had ever had in myself. I was way way overweight, was too broke to do much of anything, was giving plasma and doing medical testing for extra money. I quit believing in myself and had lost all self worth in me. Well when my girlfriend broke up w/me it was the kick in the ass that I needed to wake up. I had hit rock bottom in my life. From there was no where but up, so I started making changes in my life. I got a new job, started back to the gym, changed eating habits, moved home to help pay off bills. It has worked, I've regained alot of my lost confidence, I believe in myself again. I've lost 50 lbs and paid off some debt so I now have more spending cash. My basic point here is that no matter what don't ever give up on yourself, find the positives in your life and build on them, find the things that need fixing and fix them. Subtle changes can make a big difference. Link to post Share on other sites
notmakingsense Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 about the clothing and the heigene....I meant washing his clothes and cleaning the house regularly to ensure cleaness....lol i laughed so hard cuz i felt i was waaay behind.....anyways and Lowcountryman, I have been rejected this once that made me reconsider EVERYTHING in my life....and this once i was faces by a girl's brother who was gonna kill me.....but afterwards I did continue the persuit and didnt give up untill recently......i dunno let me ask somethng.....what do you guys think people like me should do now?......like I lost all self-confidence..all hope..i was discussing this to release the tension.... I wanna see where this can get I hate recommending things like this, but it may work for you (no, I don't work for them): http://www.doubleyourdating.com There is a free e-newsletter you can get started with. It is all about building your male self-confidence, which is absolutely a necessary ingredient to getting dates and entering in to meaningful relationships. No matter what women will tell you, they all -- deep down -- want a real man with confidence, strength, integrity, and humor. And looks don't have that much to do with it. Look around you... how many times have you seen a hot woman with an average looking guy who isn't rich? I have, plenty of times.... there's a reason for that. Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Can you do me a favor and go find some pictures of women you find attractive but those whom you think are in your league physically (ie. no pictures of J-Lo), post the links. From the sounds of it you want a relationship where you do not have to do anything, you want this hot person that has nothing better to do then picking out your cloths, doing your laundry, and making friends for you. Speaking from a womens perspective, screw you, I wouldn't date you either, you have said NOTHING about this womens personality at all, your obsessed with two things, her looks and yourself. Try to work on not being a selfish ass, maybe women will respond to you, because we can smell selfish asses from a mile away. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 I hate recommending things like this, but it may work for you (no, I don't work for them). dave deangelo is a total fraud...don't waste your hard earned ca$h Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 In other words try the fat and ugly ones, you'll have better luck. Absolute BS. Never fails to amaze me. It would be so cool if people would quit thinking only in extremes. Extremes as if there are only 'hot' women and 'fat and ugly' women in the world. Newsflash: there are MANY women who are in between those extremes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author engravefeelthevoid Posted December 28, 2006 Author Share Posted December 28, 2006 i'm not sure if i mentioned personality in a reply inside this thread....I think I did and it was that looks aren't enough..personality is rather very important in a person...its the largest part u interact with....one example I like is humor...many people are funny..but whats really funny about them? is it the lines they use? or the way they say the lines ? the voice they use and the facial expressions coming out with the joke....same thing with talking to the opposite sex ..... Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 I'm not saying that relationships are 100% physical...i mean who would want a boring empty shallow girlfriend? afterall you both are there to make eachother feel good both mentally and physically.....let's say that a perso is looking for a girlfriend but is least concerned about her physical well-being....and he gets introduced to a sub-moderate girl with a strange voice, ugly face, zig-zag teeth and fat all over her....do you think she would make him laugh or cheer him up with her looks ? personality alone isn't enough....looks are important atleast in a gf/bf state, looks do matter and we se proof all around...good looking people are always being chased....they always endup with the people they love...even if it doesnt work out later on....but atleast they dont spend their nights thinking about why they couldnt get them..... marriage is something else.....it is the phase when you are willing to spend your whole life with a person....and to do so...looking good is less important than in the gf.bf phase....a successful wife can cheer her husband up...take care of his everyday life needs (food clothes heigene.......), and can please him sexually....shes is also capable of coping with other people forming a social life which she and her husband benefit from.....many people forget the idea of looks and sex when they get married.....but when ur ina bf gf phase...it is as important as the personality.... Number one, I find it hard to believe that anyone cannot get a date. It just doesn't make sense to me based on all of my life's experiences. However, it is this post of yours that I cannot get past. You keep saying how in the bf/gf phase that looks are more important than in the marriage phase. Where do you think marriage generally starts? In the bf/gf phase, of course. Looks are equally as important/unimportant in either phase. They are simply a part of a larger equation. Looks are somewhat important, but I have found that a persons looks are more appealing to me sometimes after I get to know their personality. Like I may not have an immediate physical attraction to a man, but in getting to know him, I develop that physical attraction. Any relationship possibility involves getting to know a person and its rare to find a perfect fit as in what some may call love at first sight. There is tons of interaction with the opposite sex involved, plenty of weeding out who doesn't fit your expectations, and this all takes quite a bit of time to find the right person for you. Open up your idea of what is acceptable in another and enlarge the area in which you expect to find this person. I think there are hundreds, maybe thousands of people that would be right for any one person in this world and not one true soul mate. I think your ideals about inheritance and just having something or not are very simplistic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author engravefeelthevoid Posted December 28, 2006 Author Share Posted December 28, 2006 i remember on few occasions i fell in love with a females's personality and it was nothing physical....she just made me feel unique...made me feel something big....i think what you are saying is true about the physical attraction after getting to know the personality.....i think I just opened a door that was shut in my face for such a long time.... I am not a physique psycho nor am I pbsessed with it.....but the observations in daily life are just a point of debate in my point of view..I mean it has to have a logical explanation...it's what intrigues me..... Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 I mean it has to have a logical explanation... Yes, it does, and that logical explanation is that you have no self confidence, no respect for the women you hope to date, and skewed notions of relationships. Not that "hot people get dates and no one else does". Say it out loud... "Hot people get dates and no one else does" Do you sill sound serious to yourself when you say it? Stop making excuses and start working on yourself. This entire thread is starting to border on insulting to women in general. Link to post Share on other sites
Author engravefeelthevoid Posted December 28, 2006 Author Share Posted December 28, 2006 i don't think this thread is an insult to women...the motion of it is not even close to insulting them......the same way it is towards women...females who can't get a date or find a partner suffer in a similar fashion....but if you feel insulted...I appologise....because we are here to get answers....it is important to put the spotlight on physical....i mean why lie....looks do matter afterall....and sooner or later one must consider it in his relationships.... anyways...here's a more specific question...does an unattractive person yet with an attractive personality have the same chances of getting a partner as a physically attractive person yet with a moderate personality ? I think looking at it this way summarizes the whole idea Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 does an unattractive person yet with an attractive personality have the same chances of getting a partner as a physically attractive person yet with a moderate personality ? Yes, because anyone with a "personality" worth its salt will be seeking to enter into relationships with people who also possess something of a personality. Said people place an emphasis on personality and character and do not pay attention to your extra 20 lbs or your crooked nose. People that spend 30 grand on boob jobs, ass implants, labia surgery, botox, eye lifts, bicep implants, ass waxing, and lypo seek out other people that do the same, that or they are gold diggin hos'. Those are not the people that someone with anything more then a shallow hole of a personality/character will seek out. Now, granted, there are some men out there, whos notions of beauty have been so skewd either by there own doing or by that of the popular media that they, while unattractive themselves think that all women look like the girls they see on tv, those that do not do not even register as potential dates to said people. People that have something interesting about them find partners (unless of course they are a shut in, but even then they usually form some sort of online relationships), there is someone out there that will look at you and say "Hey, I like <thingie> about him, I want to get to know him further". Past that it is up to you as an individual to have the social and personal skills necessary to build relationships. If you ask most women to physically describe the men they are with you are in most cases guaranteed to hear some combination of the following: - "Buuuurrrrrrrpppp" is a valid sentence replacement for him - Why in the hell does it take him half and hour to 45 minuts to take a **** every day? What in creation does he do in there? Its irritating! - I don't mind the back hair at all - I learned to stop asking what that smell is a long time ago - Hes so sexxy in his winter cloths! - Hes just sexxy Women love the men they are with, we look for men that will do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 If you have women friends then they must like you in some fashion. The other things needed are confidence and balls. YOU can get a date with a women!! Can you elaborate on what you have done in the past 5 years to attempt to get a date with a women? Link to post Share on other sites
ddnnee Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 i hear ya OP. its all genetic. funny thing happened. when i was working, my coworker waiter of 40 years old man got the attention of some 18 year old girl. she wrote her phone number on the back of the check and gave it to me, telling me to give it to the waiter. damn, wish i was 40. Link to post Share on other sites
Author engravefeelthevoid Posted December 31, 2006 Author Share Posted December 31, 2006 sorry for the late reply i had something to take care of...mmm let me see for the past 5 years i did everything...I went to the movies alot...made many guy friends and went out with them to give myself a good image and to meet as many girls as possible...got stuck 15 times in the friends zone....talked to as many girls as i could......gone to as many parties as i can go......asked all the guys i know who have girl friends on tips.......i also played sports.....joined clubs.....watched movies to elarn from them...... just didn't work out now im out of fuel guys seriously Link to post Share on other sites
shawn_68 Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 ...got stuck 15 times in the friends zone... Dating is not always easy to be sure. And sometimes rejection IS part of the process. But I am curious. How many of these 15 did you SHOW that you have a romantic interest in? I ask because sometimes a woman will not even start to develop a romantic interest UNTIL he shows his interest first. And then it's a matter of flirting, wooing, etc. I would say to continue to watch and learn from other men who are dating. Show your interest in her, take the lead, and if rejection comes ... take it like a man. Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 got stuck 15 times in the friends zone And this has not shown you that you dont know how to move in? It wont just "happen" you need to put some sort of gentel pressure to prod relationships, especially in the early dateing stage along. Link to post Share on other sites
0217174 Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 Hey blackmirage I feel ya I'm totally out of fuel too. Trust me you're not gonna hear anybody back you up, except me maybe. I agree usually 99% of the time you hear a guy complain bout not being able to find a girl, it is because he's winey, selfish, has no confidence, aims too high. I think there's that 1% of guys tho who do have some 'excuses' and it really isn't fair, but as the saying goes.. "that's life". Link to post Share on other sites
Author engravefeelthevoid Posted January 1, 2007 Author Share Posted January 1, 2007 why i always get stuck in the friend zone ? cuz its much safer...and don't call me a pussy cuz everytime i try to get in...i get screwed really baaad baaad baaaaaaad !! so i'm just thankful for what i have...a friendly friends zone on the other hand....im keeping some information in mind to start actually looking Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 It says your 17 years old and I dont think alot of people relize that. Look when you say for the past 5 years you havent been able to get a gf thats not so bad I mean not many 12, 13, 14 ,15, 16 year olds find people to date. So just wait for it and it will come. Now incase your not really 17 and your in ur twenties or something I would say to you just dont give up on dating, and more importantly dont give up on yourself. Dont rate the girls you got out with and compare them to other women. and Dont compare your self worth to somebody else. I bet women arnt your only problem right now and they might not even be the main problem what else are you wanting to do right now but havnt. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 If a guy always gets in the friends zone often it's because he waits to long and isn't confident enough to tell a girl he likes her romantically. Women like opposite sex friends so if you are willing to be the guy friend for women they will more than oblige you. Being friends with women is fine but if you have a romantic interest in a women you must let her know of this fact ( flirting, etc. ) so she can make up her mind if she wants to date you. She will not hold it against you if you like her in that way. There is nothing wrong in letting a women know you find her sexy as well as enjoying her company. Don't give up as the alternative is a lonely one. Link to post Share on other sites
MikeC Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 I looked for longer than 5 years. I came to the conclusion that it just would never happen for me. Then came alone my current girl, who I love so very much. How did I meet her? Randomly, when I wasn't even expecting it. Have faith. Hold out, and the rewards will be worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
notmakingsense Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 I looked for longer than 5 years. I came to the conclusion that it just would never happen for me. Then came alone my current girl, who I love so very much. How did I meet her? Randomly, when I wasn't even expecting it. Have faith. Hold out, and the rewards will be worth it. I've always felt that things happen when you least expect it, and that for many people, it is better to focus on just having a fun/happy life, because when they aren't focusing on getting dates, thats when the dates start materializing Link to post Share on other sites
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