Amalphia Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Hey all. So my Bf and I work together and we like to keep a VERY low profile to keep any nasty perceptions from happening. But today He was walking with this blonde lady and they were going out for a smoke together. So I was outside smoking as well and he came over and stood with me but he kept glancing over at her and she kept giving me (what I think) are dirty looks. So I asked him about this and was tyring to tell him that it made me feel uncomfortable and I was curious about the relationship he has with this woman and he got MAD at me and told me that we were at work and that I needed to go away. And he stormed off. Any advise would be nice cause Im feeling really wierd. Why get mad and defensive if it is innocent? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amalphia Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 Havent heard anything yep could use some advise Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 So I asked him about this and was tyring to tell him that it made me feel uncomfortable and I was curious about the relationship he has with this woman and he got MAD at me and told me that we were at work and that I needed to go away. And he stormed off. Any advise would be nice cause Im feeling really wierd. Why get mad and defensive if it is innocent? He tells you, you all are at work and need to go away, and stormed off? I can understand him maybe not wanting to talk about it at work, but to tell you that you need to go away and stormed off might be a redflag something is up. When did this happen? Have you talked to him about it since? Or is he avoiding the subject all together? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amalphia Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 When did this happen? Have you talked to him about it since? Or is he avoiding the subject all together? It was about an hour ago and I havent been able to talk to him since. I have been racking my brain and giving myself stomach ache ever since. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 It was about an hour ago and I havent been able to talk to him since. I have been racking my brain and giving myself stomach ache ever since. Try not to stress over it to much right now. I know thats easier said than done. Try to talk with him after work about it. This lady that was outside with you all, have you seen them hang out before? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amalphia Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 Try not to stress over it to much right now. I know thats easier said than done. Try to talk with him after work about it. This lady that was outside with you all, have you seen them hang out before? Yeah I have seen them together before. they have sat next to each other at lunch but not just the two of them. They were in a large group. and they werent close or antyhing. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Do people at your workplace not know you two are an item? And if so, why not? How long have you been with him? I say let it go. Who cares if she was looking at you the wrong way. Maybe she has a crush on him and is envious that he is with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amalphia Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 Do people at your workplace not know you two are an item? And if so, why not? How long have you been with him? I say let it go. Who cares if she was looking at you the wrong way. Maybe she has a crush on him and is envious that he is with you. We just passed 3 years a month ago. And NO we try to keep work and relationship seperate due to perceptions with upper management. Even if she has a problem with me I am more worried about HIS reaction to me then her. I give a crap about her. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueEyedSarah Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 So my Bf and I work together To be dating someone you work with is very difficult, especially since he wants to keep it hush hush... Sounds like you have been with this guy for quite a while too which is good, but to be honest...(I don't mean to sound mean in my post or anything) but do you see something 'more' with you and this guy? I was just thinking if the both of you got married or something how would it be when your still working in the same place? You being wife and husband and still having a low profile... Would that make you feel good? Like I said, I don't want to sound like I am being mean or anything, I have just heard loads of stories, like yours, of work colegues dating but the relationship basically goes no where until one of them has to leave the work place for something more to pursue between them. I don't mean for this to upset you or anything, and I dont mean it to sound like I am judging your relationship because I'm sure its really great! . I just don't understand the whole working together relationship couples too well and I have not experienced it either . Link to post Share on other sites
Carbine Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 I take my smoko breaks with the same people at work, most of them being guys. I tend to be closer to these people simply because we spend more time together, and talk about non work related things when we're on break. It doesn't mean that we have the hots for eachother though Your situation doesn't sound too bad (yet) and you've gotta be open to the possibility that you maybe overreacting somewhat. Having said that, I know from experience that once you start pondering the issue, it's damn hard to get it out of your head! If I were you I'd just keep a close eye on things for the time being. I can sorta see where your bf is coming from - he's not going to want to snob this woman off just because you're jealous that he takes the odd ciggy break with her. I mean, she is a colleague afterall and it's not really fair to expect him to ignore her or suddenly give her the cold shoulder. However, if it's bothers you that much, then maybe you should approach her and say something? It would be pretty difficult to do for most people, but it might make you feel better once you've done it. Don't come across as some paranoid fruitcake. Just say something along the lines of "I noticed you giving me some nasty looks the other day, and I'd really appreciate it if you told me what the problem is. Just so you know, 'X' and I are together and I suspect that you might have feelings for him. I'm just letting you know right now that I'm not going to put up with any trouble from you if this is the case". I know this would take a lot of guts to do, and she's unlikely to admit that she has feelings for him. But too friggin bad for her! At least you've made it clear that you won't put up with any s*** from her, and that if she does start something then she's in for one hell of a fight. That said, obviously your bf won't take kindly to you approaching her, and things may backfire. Also you'd have to reveal that the two of you are together. But really, what does it matter? There's no rule in the workplace that prevents employees from dating! If you guys conduct yourselves professionally and keep your relationship low-key, then you're doing nothing wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 He got mad because you're acting nuts. Never think you understand how someone's looking at you. You're probably wrong. He was probably looking at her to see if she was paying attention to what you two were doing. And then you start asking him what his 'relationship' to her is. Honestly, chill. People who are suspicious/jealous of their partners all the time are a pain in the butt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Amalphia Posted December 26, 2006 Author Share Posted December 26, 2006 He got mad because you're acting nuts. Never think you understand how someone's looking at you. You're probably wrong. He was probably looking at her to see if she was paying attention to what you two were doing. And then you start asking him what his 'relationship' to her is. Honestly, chill. People who are suspicious/jealous of their partners all the time are a pain in the butt. Ok first and foresmost YOU are being rude. I never acted nuts I tried to calmly ask him about what his relationship with her was. REALTIONSHIP doesnt always mean sexual there are all sorts of relationships. I wanted to know who she was THAT IS ALL. It made me uncomfortable and I never said I was right. You just need to refrain from ever applying your rusty two cents to anything ever again b/c you didnt read the posts correctly. As for the BF and I things are fine. I talked with him and he apologized for being rude and jumping down my throat then he told me ho the blonde was. He then explained that he felt Offended and that is why he acted the way he did. He said it hurt him that I didnt know his feeling for me where much stronger then that. We had a great Christmas and will have many more. Link to post Share on other sites
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