melon Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Hey there, I have an ex girlfriend that I fell pretty hard for. Anyway things didn't work out and I was devistated. I pushed her away pretty hard and we didn't talk for 13 months. We ended up in a grad school class together this fall.... wierderst conincidnece ever. Anyway we only talked when our paths crossed, and I'm not continueing on with grad school there. So we may never see each other again. I was pretty content to just let things go at the end of the course. The day before the final I approached her and just wished her luck with everything. I felt I had put it to bed. So we took the final. She finished before me and waited outside the class. We walked togehter towards our cars and I again wished her well and turned to go. Then I heard my name in a soft voice and turned back to see her eyes welled up. She said she was very sorry for everything and we had a nice "heart to heart." We talked for about 10 minutes and it was great. The last things she said were "I wished we had had this conversation earlier, it would have been nice to study together" and "look me up some time." I always felt like I had a decent fix on her, and took this as a signal... I was a bit nervous about things but after talking to my friends thought I would toss a line and see what happens. I don't intend to make any moves, but rather would like to give her that opportunity. So I sent an email a week later. Short and sweet... "thanks for that conversation. Good luck with everything, take care." It was a bit longer, but that was the gist. Nothing more. About an hour later I got a response... "yeah it was nice to have that chat. I had wanted to do it earlier. Good luck with school, let me know how things turn out." Again, it was a bit longer but that was the gist. I was hoping for more. No real reason to respond to that one... was this just her way of putting things behinde her, or may there be more? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Lowcountryman Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 This is what I sent my ex-girlfriend in a Christmas card. I'm not sure if she has received it yet but should I expect any response to this? ***** I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I also wanted to apologize for the way I've handled things the past 4 months. I'm sorry for all the stupid text messages, the emails and the occasional call, I know I haven't handled things right. This past year has been full of wonderful highs and depressing lows for me, all at the same time. Whether intentional or not, you've taught me some very valuable lessons about life and relationships. These are lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I never once thought that anyone would touch my heart and life and have the impact that you've had on me. I know that I'm a better man and person now for knowing you than I ever was before you. You are truly the most beautiful person inside and out that I have ever known. You deserve someone special and I know whoever you end up with will be a very lucky man. I hope all your dreams and wishes come true this New Years. Love ****** Link to post Share on other sites
Lowcountryman Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 I meant to start my response in a new thread. Link to post Share on other sites
notmakingsense Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Did you send the Xmas card to the same girl that you reconnected with in the class? That doesn't make sense, because it sounds like you didn't interact with her much during the class except for the few exchanges afterwards. If it isn't the same girl, I wouldn't expect more from the girl you hadn't seen in 13 months before the class. You are both unsure of where things might lead again, so you are both playing it safe in your exchanges. She has passively left the door open by asking you to tell her how it turns out. It sounds like it is up to you to be more explicit about your desire to reconnect more fully by going out on a date or something. Make your move or let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Lowcountryman Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Umm Notmakingsense...I think it doesn't make sense for a reason, that reason being that you're reading two different posts by two different people. Your name fits perfectly..just kidding. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 ... was this just her way of putting things behinde her, yes it was....she just wanted "closure" for her own piece of mind. and another word of advice, don't continue the friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
notmakingsense Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 LOL.... I chose that screen-name on purpose! Ok, let me cut and paste out the part that I think applies to you I wouldn't expect more from the girl you hadn't seen in 13 months before the class. You are both unsure of where things might lead again, so you are both playing it safe in your exchanges. She has passively left the door open by asking you to tell her how it turns out. It sounds like it is up to you to be more explicit about your desire to reconnect more fully by going out on a date or something. Make your move or let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author melon Posted December 23, 2006 Author Share Posted December 23, 2006 Thanks for the replies. I have no intention of being friends with her. We weren't friends before we dated, we weren't after and we not going to be now. As for the closure thing. I know girls work much differently than guys, but it seemed like she went a bit furhter by saying we should have studied together. In my mind studying with an ex can only go one direction. Like I said I always felt like I had a pretty good fix on her emotionally and it seemed like more to me. At the same time I don't really want to initiate things with her. First, she broke up with me... it should be up to her. And second, I don't even know that I want to be with her again. I'm willing to go along with things from her end and see what happens, but don't think I really want to start it. Her more recent vagueness or passiveness is along a different grain than our conversation, and i'm not sure what to make of it. Other opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Her more recent vagueness or passiveness is along a different grain than our conversation, and i'm not sure what to make of it. there's nothing to make of it....just move on and expend your energy finding a new woman Link to post Share on other sites
chryssy83 Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 I think that she just wanted you to chase her a little for a moment to feel better about herself. Not because she's a bad person...but because it just felt good and so she did it. Not leaving you a way to respond to her email wasn't entirely accidental--what I mean there is that if she wanted you to respond, she would have made sure to ask a question or something to demonstrate to you that you should respond. You didn't have THAT much invested in this girl. I would just go on my merry way and be happy. Maybe you'll run into each other again on campus and get a different vibe, but so far as a girl, I don't see that much to get excited about. Link to post Share on other sites
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