DCM Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Throughout my life, I've been involved in a few FWB situations (I am right now in fact) and so far, every one has ended with the girl getting a bit odd and generally wanting more than me. My current situation seems like it may be leaning that way some days, and other days it seems like she just wants to be FWB and nothing more. My question is... is it practically inevitable for the girl to end up wanting more in an FWB situation? Has anyone had experiences of long-lasting FWB arrangements that honestly were no more, no less than that? Also, am I making too broad a generalization by implying that it's usually the girl who wants more? I figure everyone here has different problems and different areas of expertise, but everyone has some experience with FWBs that they could add to this topic. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 My question is... is it practically inevitable for the girl to end up wanting more in an FWB situation? Has anyone had experiences of long-lasting FWB arrangements that honestly were no more, no less than that? FWBs can only work short term. In the long term one of the two parties wants more. Men can seperate sex from love but women have a harder time doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCM Posted December 23, 2006 Author Share Posted December 23, 2006 one of the two parties wants more. That brings up an interesting thought... If that were the case, and the person who ended up wanting more first just kept it to themselves and acted as though nothing had changed, wouldn't the other party eventually end up wanting more also, and then they'd both want one another? Just a theory. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 That brings up an interesting thought... If that were the case, and the person who ended up wanting more first just kept it to themselves and acted as though nothing had changed, wouldn't the other party eventually end up wanting more also, and then they'd both want one another? Just a theory. thats a nice "theory" DCM but it won't work in real life. See....when one party starts feeling strong feelings for the other there will be no way they can hide it for long....especially if they're already sleeping together. Do you see my point? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 FWB? is that not what everyone does anyways? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DCM Posted December 23, 2006 Author Share Posted December 23, 2006 thats a nice "theory" DCM but it won't work in real life. See....when one party starts feeling strong feelings for the other there will be no way they can hide it for long....especially if they're already sleeping together. Do you see my point? Oh I'm not trying to start an argument here, I'm just trying to learn from other people's experiences here. I'm curious about the whole concept, and I just want to know about how other FWB arrangements work out, because I only have my own experiences to go from. So you've also found that girls are generally the less-capable of maintaining the "just friends" aspect of things. What about in a FWB situation where there's no sex, just everything else? Are women still prone to getting more attatched? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 So you've also found that girls are generally the less-capable of maintaining the "just friends" aspect of things. What about in a FWB situation where there's no sex, just everything else? Are women still prone to getting more attatched? I do agree to an extent is usually women who have the harder time but not by much. Many men get attached emotionally also. I'd estimate its 60/40 approximately. Link to post Share on other sites
chill chic Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Throughout my life, I've been involved in a few FWB situations (I am right now in fact) and so far, every one has ended with the girl getting a bit odd and generally wanting more than me. My current situation seems like it may be leaning that way some days, and other days it seems like she just wants to be FWB and nothing more. My question is... is it practically inevitable for the girl to end up wanting more in an FWB situation? Has anyone had experiences of long-lasting FWB arrangements that honestly were no more, no less than that? Also, am I making too broad a generalization by implying that it's usually the girl who wants more? I figure everyone here has different problems and different areas of expertise, but everyone has some experience with FWBs that they could add to this topic. I'll give you some advice....just read all my threads about my particular FWB relationship....you might get a hint of what it's all about Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 To me the true test of FWB is if you can still be friends when it ends. I know for me we are still friends. But I also recognize that he would still like benefits:) and he makes that pretty clear every time I see him. I would guess that women find it harder to balance than men do. I didn't find it hard at all. There was a complete understanding that I would come over every Tuesday evening with one thing on my mind. We would converse, watch TV etc. but there was no question where it would end. Doing the deed and then I would go home. Sometimes the deed would come before the conversation or TV, but it was pretty predictable. He even told me that he misses me, but why wouldn't he? It was the easiest "relationship" he has ever been in - no strings, just fulfilling sex. I suppose I would miss that too if my current relationship weren't so fulfilling in every way. Having said that I wouldn't do it again. I need that "total package" fulfillment now that I have experienced it. I don't know what any of you think of as long term, but mine lasted for 15 months. That was the time I apparently needed to recuperate and feel good enough about myself to know that I am worthy of more than a FWB. FWB's are for those who don't value themselves enough or for those who don't care to take the time involved in a real relationship. I was guilty on both counts. Link to post Share on other sites
Okeydokey Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 I had a good FWB deal. It lasted about 4 months. We were pretty annoyed with each other for a couple of weeks after it ended, but now were good friends. But I'd say we pretty mutually ended it and no one really wanted more. Good stuff. Served its purpose. I think it is manageable - especially if it is a quasi rebound for the woman - that was what it was for me for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 i'd say the fwb situation is more of an addiction. the person with the ability to easily walk away from it is often more (emotionally) detached vs the person who is more attached to the situation. It's easy for both parties to agree to the fwb situation and agree to be casual and see other people at the same time. But it's also easier to lie to oneself that the fwb could turn into an exclusive relationship...this is the #1 flaw of fwb. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 THE DANGER OF FTBs Hhmmmmmmmm...lots of sexual banter, but sex must be not an issue - this is not the reason right? naw, we just started being honest now...ok...sorry..time to go The most important thing you could ever do with your partner is to talk about STDs before planning to have sex. Many people, however, feel too embarrassed or scared to do talk about it openly and honestly. "Some people are just too scared to bring up the subject altogether, for fear of a partner rejecting them,' says Rick Sowadsky, MSPH, Senior Communicable Disease Specialist for the Nevada State Health Division AIDS Program. "Keep in mind that if your partner breaks up with you because you have brought up the subject of STDs, then there was not much keeping the relationship together in the first place!" Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts