Guest Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 but if a lot of people are concluding that one person is egotistical then that suggests that the individual is not presenting themselves in a manner that's conducive to their own happiness (unless being perceived as overly self-involved and egotistical makes them happy). Fallacy of popularity. It's not as though you have met this person in person and can then observe for yourself (or not) whether she is bright, beautiful, or whatever. I'm sure had she posted an avatar which protrayed her as beautiful people would immediately be assuring her that she's wonderful and deserves all the best in life. Happens all the time on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 And don't ever lessen what you've done and who you are ever. Above all else to thy own self be true. A real man will listen and respond. It's clear you love yourself so I ask you is there any love in there for anyone else? Just so you know thats a beautiful thing that you love yourself because if you don't who will. But at the same time to much of anything can be a bad thing make room for others in there. Ask your self what you want and get it. Be prepared to give exactly what you want in return. If you can do than you will be fine. Bang on. Well done. Link to post Share on other sites
notmakingsense Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 There are lots of men who won't be intimidated by who you are, as long as you are personable and not off-putting. You could try the more upscale matchmaking outfits, like "Its just lunch", etc. that focus on in-person meetings rather than on line. Take time to think about what the types of men that you would be most compatible with, then try to figure out what they do for fun. Start doing those things. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 sparkle I don't think you sound too intimidating I feel the exact same way as you Every time I meet a man he ends up being some loser with a $10 job who barely has a high school diploma and he is usually looking for a sexual relationship only I also consider myself to be attractive, intelligent (I have my Master's degree), caring, good sense of humor, etc. well I am not going to name my attributes but you get what I am saying. Now with that, I know what it's like when a man approaches me and I tell him how old I am (26) and what I have going on. I will not lower my standards and settle for less but at the same time I will try my best and give each individual a chance that fits along my standards. Things like career, goals, are important to me and I don't want a man depending on me for financial stability. Also, as far as education, I would like him to be college educated, it's pretty awkward when you go to a party where everyone is college educated and you show up with someone who isn't. Not only do people whisper, but they even ask things like "what are you doing with him?" Or, "he better keep her, he can't get better than that" I just see it that I would rather be single then just settle for any guy just to say "I am in a relationship" There are some amazing people in this world, it just takes time and patience to find them I think what can be frustrating is meeting someone who some what fits your criteria-at least that is the difficult part for me I have tried to lower my standards a little bit-but I am not desperate for a man to lower them all the way But I do agree, some men do get intimidated and I think my personal opinion for that is because there are not that many of "you" out there and when they do run into one it's a shock. Like majoirty of the men I have met when I go out or through friends are nice and stuff but like I said they are only seeking sexual relationships, girl's with money, fake things, a lot of them don't even have there own stuff together as far as goals so when I meet a guy who does have his stuff together, knows how to have an intelligent conversation!--that is the biggest shock and turn on ever:) but those guys are SO hard to find (at least for me) and when you find one it can be intimidating because like I said they are so hard to find! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 sparkle I don't think you sound too intimidating I feel the exact same way as you Every time I meet a man he ends up being some loser with a $10 job who barely has a high school diploma and he is usually looking for a sexual relationship only I also consider myself to be attractive, intelligent (I have my Master's degree), caring, good sense of humor, etc. well I am not going to name my attributes but you get what I am saying. Now with that, I know what it's like when a man approaches me and I tell him how old I am (26) and what I have going on. I will not lower my standards and settle for less but at the same time I will try my best and give each individual a chance that fits along my standards. Things like career, goals, are important to me and I don't want a man depending on me for financial stability. Also, as far as education, I would like him to be college educated, it's pretty awkward when you go to a party where everyone is college educated and you show up with someone who isn't. Not only do people whisper, but they even ask things like "what are you doing with him?" Or, "he better keep her, he can't get better than that" I just see it that I would rather be single then just settle for any guy just to say "I am in a relationship" There are some amazing people in this world, it just takes time and patience to find them I think what can be frustrating is meeting someone who some what fits your criteria-at least that is the difficult part for me I have tried to lower my standards a little bit-but I am not desperate for a man to lower them all the way But I do agree, some men do get intimidated and I think my personal opinion for that is because there are not that many of "you" out there and when they do run into one it's a shock. Like majoirty of the men I have met when I go out or through friends are nice and stuff but like I said they are only seeking sexual relationships, girl's with money, fake things, a lot of them don't even have there own stuff together as far as goals so when I meet a guy who does have his stuff together, knows how to have an intelligent conversation!--that is the biggest shock and turn on ever:) but those guys are SO hard to find (at least for me) and when you find one it can be intimidating because like I said they are so hard to find! Link to post Share on other sites
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Fallacy of popularity. It's not as though you have met this person in person and can then observe for yourself (or not) whether she is bright, beautiful, or whatever. I'm sure had she posted an avatar which protrayed her as beautiful people would immediately be assuring her that she's wonderful and deserves all the best in life. Happens all the time on LS. A keen observation that is as true as true can be. I challenge anyone here to dispute it. Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnne Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 I rather have a girl that is humble, can talk to easily and be outgoing. Someone to spend time with and not feel like I'm being judged or corrected or controlled. That is so true - I am surrounded by very accomplished men and that seems to be the one thing they are looking for. Once you reach a certain income level it's a rare quality apparently. From watching them I've seen women mercilessly ax kiss "the day you interviewed me changed my life" , be catty with each other as soon as one of the guys walks in, try to show off their clothes or boobs, act excessivly interested and all sorts of things. But very few give off a "you're fun so let's spend time together" vibe. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 The first question that came to mind is...how do they know all of these many qualities during the initial meeting? Most of us gentlemen get to know a woman over time, and most women do the same with men. Unless you let them know all of your attributes in the initial meeting or two by your actions, then they only learn them from you by your speech. And yes, when a woman is open enough to tell me in the way that you just told us of all her attributes, then yes, we tend to shy away from a woman who has it all. Why would she need anyone else? And yes, this comes off as a bit arrogant. My guess is that if you tended to come across less qualified in your speech, and let the man learn of all of your qualities over time as he gets to know you, I believe that you would find many men much more attracted. It is more fun to learn about someone than to have everything laid out at once. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 It is more fun to learn about someone than to have everything laid out at once. Definitely. Similar situation with books. When the writer shows you who the characters are rather than tells you, it tends to keeps you more alert and involved. Link to post Share on other sites
thelazygent Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 To Sparklegirl100: The next time you see a guy look at you and then quickly turn away, go up to him and start a convo. The pyschology of looking at a beatiful women and then quickly turning away is that he wants to look at you where he can't be rejected or where she doesn't think that he is a stalker. When they do that, they like you. If you start a convo he certainly won't be quiet, but maybe nervous. I think sometimes women put to much pressure on men to persue woman. I think its a little unfair for woman to have the apporach of "if you want me, come get me", but don't persue guys (who dont go after her) that they like at all. I think that woman should equally persue. Its only fair! Link to post Share on other sites
Aloros Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 Just wanted to add...be approachable! Smile, be friendly, don't be cold. My boyfriend thought I was out of his league (funny, because I thought the same about him), but he said that the fact that I was so friendly and approachable made it so much easier for him to ask me out. I used to not be so approachable. Most people who met me later described me as arrogant and cold. I just wasn't interested in most people. Now I've learned that being friendly, even to those who don't strike me as all that interesting, can really go a long way! Link to post Share on other sites
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