pricillia Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 this sounds racist ,but there's a dark truth to this. people feel uncomfortable talking about this sort of thing ,but i think we should instead of hiding behind disingenuous smiles. i dated a black girl for two years and you should have heard what BOTH sides of my family said and the cubans were worse than the whites. Then that is there hang up... what could they possibly say about her? Did you love her? Did they influence you to break up with her? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 i dated a black girl for two years and you should have heard what BOTH sides of my family said and the cubans were worse than the whites. i dated a hot girl of german descent for a year. boy she could **** like a race-horse but thats irrelevant here. her parents refused to even meet me because I was indian. I was thinking about marriage but after her parents rejected me I called it quits. But she met my entire family on a number of occasions. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 I dated a black man for 4 years. My family accepted him, even my grandfathers who were extremely racist. They loved me, and they wanted me to be happy. I did get pregnant by him at 17 but lost the baby. I'm happy that it did turn out that way, only because i was very young. Oh ok sister, so what in your opinion is the allure? Link to post Share on other sites
NearlyThere Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 excellent point. in my everyday life when someone says something silly like a few of the things that have been mentioned here, I just correct them. I find that *decent* people generally want to be informed and are quick to accept the new information...often even apologetic for their misonceptions as well. This is how I am when I meet people of other cultures ~ cultures that I thought I had pegged. When someone dodges the truth however and continues to feed into the same stereotypes after being shown proof of their falsity...ugh. well that's when I put them on block ~ online and for real. People who fit the latter description simply aren't worth any more energy than that IMO. But as for the main topic of this thread, I think that aside from genuine attraction to the person, the trend ur seeing of white women and black men could just be curiosity on one or both parts. As a previous poster suggested, dating a black man could just be on a dating "to do" list for the women and vice versa for the men. Just like many women might wanna experience dating a rich guy, a starving artist type, a bad boy, etc...nothing wrong with that I have been reading this thread as its progressed and I would just like to comment on how people can learn, as LexiB and others have stated. About 10 years ago, I worked very closely with a black woman who became a good friend. She was married to a white man and they had a child. We used to talk about her little girl and I cant remember exactly how I used the phrase in context, but I called the little girl a half caste, (I even feel really bad now just typing it and I mean that I hate even admitting I said it but I did). However one day my friend turned round to me and said "I find that phrase offensive, would you say mixed race in future". I was mortified, not that she had told me, but that I had said something that someone else had found offensive unknowingly. From that day forward I have never, ever uttered that saying again, unless I hear someone I know use it, in which case, I will correct them. Anyway the point I am making is, unless you let people know what they find offensive, they wont know, people do tend to put their foot in it at times un-intentionally generally and this is usually done by people following the stereotypical conceptions that are associated, perpetuated and on occassions generated by the media etc. As for racism dying, mmm, well I dont know, I did think that maybe it was not so prevelant up until a couple of years ago, until I heard/saw a video camera that had been set up in a shop and was subsequently shown on TV. I was horrified at the words that were being spewed out of peoples mouths, I was ashamed of my own race at being so bigotted and ignorant so blatantly. Are these people racist or ignorant or both? Do these kind of people fall into the same line as the KKK? I know thats taking it to extremes but is an example. Where is the line drawn between someone having freedom of speech and racial/religious hatred? There have been some quite high profile cases here in the UK recently and laws are being changed again now. Also who should be the people making the laws? What is the right sort of punishment for these people? Going even more a bit off topic but talking about who should make the laws, and I can only speak to the UK on this matter, but the word Christmas has been banned by some of our local councils, (quick guide, you in the US, have your different states, we have counties, each county has a council that can make some of its own local rulings). The reason they have banned it, is in case it offends people who are non-christians and find the word Christmas offensive. But it does not seem to matter how many, Muslim, Hindu, Sikh or Jewish people say that they dont mind the word being used as they are in a Christian country, the local councils still bring in these laws, which in my mind is counter productive, but that is just my thought on that one. Back more to current topic, I dont know what can be done about these ignorant people except try to show them the error of their ways, maybe in a constant drip drip, as in the phrase "constant dripping wears away a stone". Would sending them to jail/prison work? I dont know, they would be punished, yes, but would it change the way their minds think. However, there will always be some people making ignorant, rude or what they pereceive as funny, comments about someone, whether they be of a different race, religion, too tall, too short, big nose, fat, thin, no hair, big ears, ginger hair (dont know if that one goes on in the US, but it does here), anything that makes someone slightly different from the rest, makes them a target. For some reason some humans dont like people who dont conform to what their pereception of what another human should look like, ie usually them. JMO BTW. Right back to the very original question, I think its just a simple case, of one person meeting another and they find each other attractive. Unless of course you take the view, maybe, with someone who is subject to prejudice nearly every day by the colour of their skin does not do the same to another person who is of a different size. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 Then that is there hang up... what could they possibly say about her? Did you love her? Did they influence you to break up with her?no i didnt love her and yes they influenced my break up with her Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 i dated a hot girl of german descent for a year. boy she could **** like a race-horse but thats irrelevant here. her parents refused to even meet me because I was indian. I was thinking about marriage but after her parents rejected me I called it quits. But she met my entire family on a number of occasions. now Alpha don't tell me you have a thing for horses??? LOL both gross and funny at the same time:p Link to post Share on other sites
puddleofmud Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 oh trust me....their problem will eventually become your problem. WHY? I am the only one who could let that be a problem and I don't see myself as a factor unless I choose. I am bi-racial and it isn't a problem for ME so I don't care who has a problem with it! And why would you? Are we as mixed race marginal? Or does it just even out the penis size? Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 there are many beautiful bi-racial people. that beyonce woman looks like an angel. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 WHY? because POM....when you marry someone you also marry their family and their friends. and anyone who tells you differently is a fool. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 that beyonce woman looks like an angel. oh yeah i saw her in inspector clouseau. i'd like to do things to her, indecent things Link to post Share on other sites
puddleofmud Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 because POM....when you marry someone you also marry their family and their friends. and anyone who tells you differently is a fool. Really, I had NO idea! Welcome to my world NDN... Link to post Share on other sites
lasan Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 I agree. My ex's mother loved me until she figured out he wanted to marry me. According to her, I was ok to have sex with but not ok to marry, you don't bring black girls into the family. Most of their family didn't like me for that reason and it was a definite thorn in our marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 I agree. My ex's mother loved me until she figured out he wanted to marry me. According to her, I was ok to have sex with but not ok to marry, you don't bring black girls into the family. Most of their family didn't like me for that reason and it was a definite thorn in our marriage. in my experience the non-white families are more accepting of other races than the white families. that is basically why white people tend be more racist than other races, they believe of themselves as superior. Link to post Share on other sites
stillhere Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 Oh ok sister, so what in your opinion is the allure? What attracted me to him? I met him when i was 14, and always had a crush on him. When i was 16 he moved to town, and we started hanging out. We grew closer and decided to start dating. He was a good looking guy and he was so much fun to be around. He was quite the charmer!! Well, i found out that he was also dating half the freakin town while he was with me, and he was making me crazy. He claimed that he loved me, but there was no way that he did. If he did, he wouldn't have done the things that he had. I would have done anything for him, black, white, purple, or whatever. I was in love with him as a person and it didn't matter what color he was. My family adored him as well, until we found out what he was doing. Just a little lesson in life, and i'm over it now. We're still friends, although we haven't seen each other in years. He still asks about me, and he's still single!! Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 in my experience the non-white families are more accepting of other races than the white families. that is basically why white people tend be more racist than other races, they believe of themselves as superior.i don't know man. like i said, my cuban family can be bad. i guess this negates everything i said about racism dying. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 i don't know man. like i said, my cuban family can be bad. i guess this negates everything i said about racism dying. genetically its good for the brown families to bring some white blood into the fold....for the white families is bad to bring brown blood into the fold. its all about genetics man. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 genetically its good for the brown families to bring some white blood into the fold....for the white families is bad to bring brown blood into the fold. its all about genetics man.i get what you're saying, but many members of my cuban family are racist against blacks and puerto ricans but not against whites maybe that just restates what you just said Link to post Share on other sites
BUTAFLY Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 there are many beautiful bi-racial people. that beyonce woman looks like an angel. For your information Beyonce is not bi-racial. believe it or not people of color come in all shades and sizes and every range is beautiful! Geez!! Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 genetically its good for the brown families to bring some white blood into the fold....for the white families is bad to bring brown blood into the fold. its all about genetics man. what??? that is crazy thinking.... what ever happened to two people loving eachother and wanting a relationship despite the color of thier skin? People first look at the person first... not weather they are black or white The only thing I can say alpha is when you talk about your experiences and you mention that you dated a German Chick blah blah blah... and she f***** like a race horse... is that to say that all German WOMEN are like that... prob not... maybe her family sensed that you only wanted one thing and they pulled the race card... not sure but could be a possibility Link to post Share on other sites
lasan Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 i don't know man. like i said, my cuban family can be bad. i guess this negates everything i said about racism dying. I think it is slowly dying out myself. I know any racism I experienced is nothing like what my parents may have, and any they experienced was nothing like their parents. I dated someone who is mexican. (he is my best friend still) His grandmother was always nice to me but she would crack me up with talking about darkness of skin, although she was nearly as dark as I am. She used to tell other family members. "She looks like a cuban, but she isn't" Like that was somehow worse. Is there a secret pecking order somewhere Link to post Share on other sites
puddleofmud Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 Over my life time I've seen a gozillion white, black and brown women who just drool over Indian Men and vs. versa...marry them and have lots of children...all of which may be either my Aunties, Uncles cousins or second, third and fourth cousins. Can't figure out where a respectable Indian man would have such a problem.....???? My home rez is full of Indian men married to other races and vice versa w/ children being lots of various "shades". No one has a prob with that unless you mess with them... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 there is....no matter what culture/race you are, ligther skin always trumps darker skin. No, that is inaccurate. It's about you as a person and how you represent yourself. No doubt minorities have it more difficult than caucasians but it doesn't preclude minorities from succeeding. Link to post Share on other sites
puddleofmud Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 My aplogies for the misunderstanding. Does IRL mean in real life--you've GOT to be kidding? Link to post Share on other sites
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