IpAncA Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 . Sometimes a guy (or a girl) chooses to masterbate and enjoy it rather than get laid. I know there are times I would rather masterbate...LOL! Me too. I get aroused VERY easy and it's annoying so sometimes I need to just take care of it myself real quick. It's done, overwith and I can move on lol!!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Agreed - masturbation isn't like a quickie and it isn't like anything else but self-pleasure. Why shouldn't men (and women) be allowed to touch their own bodies and fantasize about whatever the f*ck turns them on? EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean my hubby's stiff one is great, but I also enjoy solo masterbation and also my time in the shower with my shower massager! It just is a different (not better) feeling! Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 ... decades ago? whatever happened to masters and johnson or betty dotson or sherry hite and so forth? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I am saying for the women that DO care so much that if they want to complain about their husbands jerking off while thinking about other women, you BETTER be on call to service him 24/7, otherwise you can't really complain if he does. Not sure why you insist on this point - sleep isn't the only possible scenario, you might be in different cities, states or countries when your SO becomes aroused. I'm not sure who I pity more - a woman who insists her partner think only of her while masturbating or a man who would agree to comply with those rules. Either way is problematic on many levels. It is disgusting to think that last time we had sex he was thinking of some chick from tv and not me. Rainfall, if we were married, I'd whack off to you, me and the TV chick having a threesome. Am I still technically in compliance? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 But you will NEVER know what he is jerking off to, unless you're crazy enough to ask him...And he's stupid enough to answer. The correct answer will ALWAYS be, YOU HONEY. I couldn't care less if my husband decided to whack off one night in bed and thought of someone else. Either way I CANNOT CONTROL THIS THOUGHTS, so why the F sit and wonder what he is thinking while jerking off. HIS PRIVATE thoughts, not my business. So, he wakes you up(or Rainfall's bf wakes her up) and says "Babe, I'm really horny, Let's make love..." She says or you say..."I really am not up for it, sorry. But let's do it in the morning..." ARE you saying that he has NO right to go jerk off? You'd rather him lay in bed with a raging hard-on and wait until the morning? IF this is your answer, or rain's answer, that is just CRAZY. One has no right to restrict their partner to WHEN they can masterbate and when they can't. Control issues come into play here, and that's the bottomline. Controlling and insecurity issues... Well we usually go to be at the same time so he has no chance to ever wake me up. Once he falls asleep he doesn't wake up for anything. Half the time I gotta wake him up to make sure he is at work on time. So maybe one day if we ever have different sleep schedules then I *might* turn him down if he woke me up. However as it is now I am awakw when he goes to bed, so if he wants sex he will get sex. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Sorry baby, those are your issues not mine! My boyfriend and I also communicate very well and we share whatevers on our minds. We have come a long way. You are taking stuff to the extreme! Get some help rainfall. It's liberating. Trust me. I wasn't saying you had issues with porn. I was saying you have to have issue with at least one thing about your bf that I would probably not understand. Really no I don't need help. I don't deserve to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me and only me. If you are ok knowing that your man wishes he could sleep with other people then I think you need help. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Well we usually go to be at the same time so he has no chance to ever wake me up. Once he falls asleep he doesn't wake up for anything. Half the time I gotta wake him up to make sure he is at work on time. So maybe one day if we ever have different sleep schedules then I *might* turn him down if he woke me up. However as it is now I am awakw when he goes to bed, so if he wants sex he will get sex. Finally a post I can say GREAT to by you, and one that I agree with. I hope he wakes up and wants sex with you! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 If you are ok knowing that your man wishes he could sleep with other people then I think you need help. See, this is what I'd like to point out to you. A passing thought, a visualization for 10 seconds of your boyfriend (let's say) looking at another woman and thinking what it would be like to bang her should not affect what he feels for you. IT is not the same as a man lusting after another woman, making moves on other women and acting single. . If you are ok knowing that your man wishes he could sleep with other people then I think you need help. I think then just about EVERY SINGLE person, male and female on this site is in need of help. We all need therapy because we all have had fleeting moments of thinking of someone else. Here's a question for you. Say in 10 years, you're married...Not to the guy you're with now though...And something reminds you of your ex, say a song, or a certain scent, a cologne...You smile. Your mind MAY not wander to sex, but it will send off something to make you feel good and smile, remember your exboyfriend... You having a nice memory of your ex, does that mean you don't love your husband? Does it make you feel like you cheated on your husband because you stole a moment to yourself and remembered your ex? Just using this as an example to make you open your eyes abit... Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Finally a post I can say GREAT to by you, and one that I agree with. I hope he wakes up and wants sex with you! I hope that too. Link to post Share on other sites
Horse Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Please don't act like you masturbate to porn all for your wife's sake. I doubt any woman truly "appreciates" her man replacing her with other women even if it is temporary. And that is exactly what you are doing. You are the only man that answered this and I would like other men to comment. Is the reality of what you have so awful that you need to escape from it into a fantasy about a woman that you woman can never measure up to? Are the real women in your life that awful? They apparently are. Funny.. I don't remember saying I do it for her sake. I just meant that she appreciates that I don't ask her to do something she doesn't want to do, just because I want it. Just like she appreciates that I cook, even if she isn't hungry. So again...My reality is good. My relationship is mostly good. This thread has made me appreciate having a wife that I don't have to hide stuff from even more. I know how she feels about all of this because we have openly discussed it all. I know a guy married to a woman who freaks out when he looks at porn. She freaks out if he has a beer after work. She freaks out if he is anywhere where there are any attractive women that he might be looking at. I feel bad for that guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Horse Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 it just sucks, because I still dislike it and feel so replaced by it..not replaced as a whole person, but replaced in conext of a sexual partner I KNOW I am more than he will ever see in a porn, but that also, is the confusion--how can we have such goodness between us and then he seeks out what I just consider plain ol' freak show-bad fast food version of sex.?? Actually I really like this analogy. Porn is like cheap fast food. I prefer a good home-cooked meal, but sometimes I don't have the time or energy to cook. Instead of going hungry, I might grab a cheeseburger or something. That cheeseburger doesn't make me appreciate a home-cooked meal any less, or the care that goes into preparing it. It just takes care of my hunger for a little while. I wouldn't want to live off of cheeseburgers any more than I would want to replace sex with masturbation. I guess it might help to think about the meal, while I'm eating the cheeseburger, but that seems silly to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Capatinacen Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I'm not sure who I pity more - a woman who insists her partner think only of her while masturbating or a man who would agree to comply with those rules. Either way is problematic on many levels. I don't think so. What is sad is that a guy would consider thinking about someone else in a sexual way besides their SO, especially if it's their wife. In my opinion both people should be enough to turn each other on and not need outside factors to turn to instead. What kind of a relationship is that if you have to use outside things to get off? Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnne Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 I'm not sure who I pity more - a woman who insists her partner think only of her while masturbating or a man who would agree to comply with those rules. Either way is problematic on many levels. LOL I think that goes for most of us. Its a charade and nothing more. BTW who just registered under a new LS id?? First post eh? Link to post Share on other sites
Capatinacen Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 LOL who just registered under a new LS id?? First post eh? Didn't know that I had to make my first post somewhere else. Thats a first. And no I'm not one of these other people posting so please don't assume. This was one of the first ones I clicked on. Shesh...didn't know there was rules to where I could and couldn't post. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 See, this is what I'd like to point out to you. A passing thought, a visualization for 10 seconds of your boyfriend (let's say) looking at another woman and thinking what it would be like to bang her should not affect what he feels for you. IT is not the same as a man lusting after another woman, making moves on other women and acting single. Here's a question for you. Say in 10 years, you're married...Not to the guy you're with now though...And something reminds you of your ex, say a song, or a certain scent, a cologne...You smile. Your mind MAY not wander to sex, but it will send off something to make you feel good and smile, remember your exboyfriend... You having a nice memory of your ex, does that mean you don't love your husband? Does it make you feel like you cheated on your husband because you stole a moment to yourself and remembered your ex? Just using this as an example to make you open your eyes abit... I guess I view a thought of sleeping with someone esle different since I never have them. I think if I wanna sleep with someone esle then I should just be single. As for the question of ten years from now and if I am married to someone esle. I honestly can't say. I don't know how I would act in the situation until I am in it. I can say now I don't have any fond memories of any ex's. But thats because they were all jerks who cheated on me or something esle. We were never really together that long either to form fond memories. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 In my opinion both people should be enough to turn each other on and not need outside factors to turn to instead. What kind of a relationship is that if you have to use outside things to get off? Is a Capatinacen someone who's from Capatina? I agree with your statement as regards actual sex between the wife and I. Not only do I not think of anyone else when we're together, I rarely think of anthing period. Too busy enjoying the moment Masturbation and fantasy is different. I need the fantasy (usually fed by visual stimulation) to get off. That's just the way it is for me. If that makes me a bad person, I'll just have to live with that... Mr. Lucky BTW - My wife gives me a Playboy subscription every year for my birthday, so that gives you a sense of her position on the subject Link to post Share on other sites
Jeffrey Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 You do realize that perusal of porn and wanting to sleep with other women are two entirely different things right? I've watched a lot of porn and never once have I ever desired to sleep with someone other than my wife. Please tell me you aren't being serious. I'm sorry but that is one of the dumbest things I have EVER heard. It proves he loves me because he wants to sleep with other women but by some miracle he is able to hold himself back from all the beautiful women he wishes I was? He is still wishing he could be with someone esle. I am supposed to feel blessed because when he is having sex with me he is thinking I am someone esle. Wow I just can't believe that you actually think he proves he loves me because he wants to sleep with other women........... Link to post Share on other sites
Jeffrey Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Umm no. Fantasy == What if Not Fantasy == I want. Again, clear differences. I really think the people who have fantasys about others are LESS likely to have a successful relationship because eventually they will become unhappy with their real life partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Jeffrey Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Some people need/want/like time to themselves, and that's more than acceptable until such a time that solo time takes precedence over partner time. Expecting a man (or woman) not to masturbate? Get real. Well, if the woman is WILLING to be waken up and give him a quickie, then why would he need to masturbate? I'm saying for example, say someone like Rainfall doesn't want her bf to jerk it to other women. So she tells him IMPLICITLY to wake her up when the mood strikes because she would WANT to satisfy him (so that way he doesn't need to masturbate), what would be wrong with that? If she wants to get him off by giving him a hand job or quick blow or whatever, then he wouldn't need to jerk it... If that's what she wants then I see nothing wrong with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Capatinacen Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Is a Capatinacen someone who's from Capatina? I agree with your statement as regards actual sex between the wife and I. Not only do I not think of anyone else when we're together, I rarely think of anthing period. Too busy enjoying the moment Masturbation and fantasy is different. I need the fantasy (usually fed by visual stimulation) to get off. That's just the way it is for me. If that makes me a bad person, I'll just have to live with that... Mr. Lucky BTW - My wife gives me a Playboy subscription every year for my birthday, so that gives you a sense of her position on the subject Ok and that fine but what I can't even begin to understand is why people feel the need to turn to other things or think of someone else instead of say their wife or husband. Seems like you would want to unless some people can't do that. That doesn't make any sense unless that relationship is having problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Capatinacen Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 Umm no. Fantasy == What if Not Fantasy == I want. Again, clear differences. Ok so what happends if say your with someone and the relationship is having trouble and isn't what it use to be. How do you keep those fantasies from becoming reality? Link to post Share on other sites
Author rtHawk Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 You do realize that perusal of porn and wanting to sleep with other women are two entirely different things right? I've watched a lot of porn and never once have I ever desired to sleep with someone other than my wife. Umm no. Fantasy == What if Not Fantasy == I want. Again, clear differences. those are much more reassuring words comments..at least for you it doesnt' translate into that desire. i would hope that be true for many involved men BUT..... if content, happy, satisfied and fulfilled, then why ask or want the "WHAT IF?" Link to post Share on other sites
Jeffrey Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 With regards to porn, people aren't thinking about anyone in a sexual way, it's porn. Now if you were talking about someone thinking about a REAL PERSON THEY KNOW in a sexual way, that would be different. I don't get what you mean by outside things. I watch porn in my own home, never anywhere else or with anyone else (other than spouse) ever. My wife and I don't NEED anything, we like what we enjoy. I don't think so. What is sad is that a guy would consider thinking about someone else in a sexual way besides their SO, especially if it's their wife. In my opinion both people should be enough to turn each other on and not need outside factors to turn to instead. What kind of a relationship is that if you have to use outside things to get off? Link to post Share on other sites
Author rtHawk Posted January 9, 2007 Author Share Posted January 9, 2007 With regards to porn, people aren't thinking about anyone in a sexual way, it's porn. ...that seems like a contradicton/oxymoron... if you read some of the responses to the questions, it is ALL about thinking about the porn women in a sexual way....actually thinking they are the participants in the acts. (unless I am reading this incorrectly) Link to post Share on other sites
Capatinacen Posted January 9, 2007 Share Posted January 9, 2007 With regards to porn, people aren't thinking about anyone in a sexual way, it's porn. Now if you were talking about someone thinking about a REAL PERSON THEY KNOW in a sexual way, that would be different. I am talking about that and thinking in a sexual way. That is why I can't understand why some people are ok with that. Link to post Share on other sites
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