A serious choice to make.

[fun lovin']

I have been married for five years and have two very young little girls. I have been unhappy for the most part of my marriage. My doctor diagnosed me as being clinically depressed and put me on paxil. I quit taking it after the first year with no improvement. I learned to accept my melancoly, flucuating temperment as normal and just went on with my life.

 

But about eight months ago I met a man who happens to understand me very well. We have an incredible amount in common and we became very good friends. He is in a marriage of convenience. Just for their sons sake. Through him I have discovered how it feels to be happy again and why I was really so unhappy. My marriage was and is the problem. I have talked in great detail with my husband and he understands the problems and wants to fix them. The problem is that in this whole process I have fallen (undeniably)in love with my new friend and he with me. He is also 17 years my senior. Any advise? Anyone speaking from experience?

[Jim99]

Hi..

I have been married for five years and have two very young little girls. I have been unhappy for the most part of my marriage. My doctor diagnosed me as being clinically depressed and put me on paxil. I quit taking it after the first year with no improvement. I learned to accept my melancoly, flucuating temperment as normal and just went on with my life.

Its not good to ever be depressed with yourself. You shouldn`t be in a marriage which makes you unhappy - were you happy before you got married? If you were, what went wrong??

But about eight months ago I met a man who happens to understand me very well. We have an incredible amount in common and we became very good friends. He is in a marriage of convenience. Just for their sons sake. Through him I have discovered how it feels to be happy again and why I was really so unhappy. My marriage was and is the problem. I have talked in great detail with my husband and he understands the problems and wants to fix them. The problem is that in this whole process I have fallen (undeniably)in love with my new friend and he with me. He is also 17 years my senior. Any advise? Anyone speaking from experience?

In my opinion I would try and make your marriage work - atleast in the short term - give it a while to see if the problems can be fixed. If the problems cannot be fixed (or you don`t want to) then its time to move on - theres no doubt about that - happyness is important, infact its essential - and no matter were you get it, take it..

 

The age difference doesn`t matter, infact the average age difference is 6 - 7 years.

 

DO what makes you happy - whatever it is.

[Me]

I have been married for five years and have two very young little girls. I have been unhappy for the most part of my marriage. My doctor diagnosed me as being clinically depressed and put me on paxil. I quit taking it after the first year with no improvement. I learned to accept my melancoly, flucuating temperment as normal and just went on with my life. But about eight months ago I met a man who happens to understand me very well. We have an incredible amount in common and we became very good friends. He is in a marriage of convenience. Just for their sons sake. Through him I have discovered how it feels to be happy again and why I was really so unhappy. My marriage was and is the problem. I have talked in great detail with my husband and he understands the problems and wants to fix them. The problem is that in this whole process I have fallen (undeniably)in love with my new friend and he with me. He is also 17 years my senior. Any advise? Anyone speaking from experience?

Unless murder is involved reconciling is not impossible. Are you sure you love him because I would imagine you thought you loved your current husband at some point. For your daughters' sake, do some soul searching to help make yourself feel better, stay in your marriage unless it's gioing to kill you. Don't get involved with an old married man. PLEASE.

[odyne]

Just something to consider:

 

Have you ever heard of postpartum depression? Is it possible that you have had a hard time since your marriage because of something like that? As your daughters get older maybe it went away for you? This may be totally wrong, but it seemed like something you may want to think about.

 

If you love/loved your husband, maybe he deserves a chance to try and fix things in your marriage. If you try it and still love the other man more, then do your best to minimize the hurt to your children and husband. Take time to think this over, don't act on impulse, there's a lot involved that you may not have thought of yet. Bonne chance.

 

Oh, and look a couple posts back, there was someone in a similar situation.

[fun lovin']

Hello

 

Obviously there is much more to the story than I can tell in such breif messages. I did however, used to be happy. I think that some where along the line we just stopped trying to please each ohter. Maybe we thought that love would never slip away. That it would always be there in the closet like a rain coat on a stormy day. To tell the truth, I'm not completely sure what happened.

 

What I do know is that another man makes me happier than I can ever remember being. That doesn't sound like a real tough decision does it? Well add these facts to the delima: He is also my husbands friend ( they are not very close though.) My husband now knows that I am in love with this other man, and he still says he forgives me and wants to work things out. He also want me to tell our friend that he knows about my feelings and to stay away for a while. I understand his point of view but I don't know if I can do that and I'm afraid that may make the "forbidden fruit" look all the more inticing!