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what the hell can i do?


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What a long sordid story.. thanks to anyone willing to listen.

 

My relationship started 8 years ago when we were 18 and 19. I was moving away and some of my friends were at my house. There was a woman (girl) with us. Kinda chubby and akward... and butchy... she kept staring at me and smiling... she asked to fallow us to the air port to see me off that day... she was drunk and went around asking strangers for money to get on the plane with me. I know it sounds rediculous, but it was really quite sweet and romantic. I was straigh (or so i thought) but i did become her friend over the phone and we fell deeply in love.

 

She moved down to Houston to be with me. I guess i realize she was kinda running away even then.. running from her family to mine. Our relationship was insane. we fought constantly and she was very jealous of everyone.. especially men... but we loved each other so much, in spite of our unhealthy relationship. and I believe it was a deep real unusual love.

 

she got a new job and drifted away. I know my not having sex with her was breaking her heart now that i look back. three years into our relationship, she had a three month long emotional affair with a woman she worked with. during this time she drank and left me. I had no friends, no life because of our little love caccoon we created to keep either of us from being threatened. i almost died-litteraly. I don't know why i stayed but i did.

 

i found out what she was doing and packed her ****. She took me away to albuquerque (where we are now and where we met) and we spent years of her being sorry. I tried to let it go, but she was never the same after. I think that she lost some of her obsession for. perhaps it was after seeing what was out there. Perhaps it's because i allowed the shift in power.. I don't know but it's been kina bad for five years.

 

She's had little 'friendships' here and there secretly. they were painful to discover and even though they werent anything REALLY, i think the emotional attatchment to other women is a real problem...

 

The thing is... I stopped 'letting' her do anything. she supported me completely financialy, and emotionaly and i did whatever i wanted while she worked 60 hours a week and had to come home. if she wante dto have a beer after work, i flipped, because i didn't feel i could trust her.

 

so...she left. I know it sounds like a horribe relationship. my worste fear being abandonment, and hers being controled. things have been way more bad than good, but i have to tell you, obsession aside, i know she's my soul-mate. I know i could find someone else and maybe even have it be way easier, but i wonder if thats the right thing. I know i wouldn't love them as much.

 

she's furious with me. saying she's been 'f-ing' misserable for five years, and that she can't believe how i treated her. she says she wants to be 'alone'. and if i said i was going home to houston she'd help me pack my bags. she says its not a break, but a break up. but she says she knows she could never love anyone as much as she loves me... she also says that she really doesn't want to be with me again because she looks back on our relationship and remembers nothing but bad... she moved out... please don't tell me the only option is the no contact thing, when i know damn well it would only make her relieved that i'm gone.... help

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