sumdude Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 So ... quick background. I'm 38 and married no kids, my sis is 43 nvr married, my bro 46 married w/ 2 kids. We lost my mom this Februrary to cancer and my dad is 79. My sister is a miserable person. At this point she's an 'old maid'. She drinks too much and has ...issues.. with anger. She has ruined the majority of our family holidays for the last 20 years picking a fight with someone. It used to be my older brother but now that he has the nieces she has targeted my wife and I. So we drove up to NJ to my bro's for X-MAS, they had 18 over for X-MAS eve dinner which is the big event for our Ukrainian fam. BTW my wife is not Ukrainian. All went well at first but at some point my sis gave my wife the evil eye but that was it until all the guests left. Than as soon as we were relaxed and tired from cleaning up she makes nasty and snide remarks to my wife. Alleging that she saw her "roll her eyes' while our fam was singing x-mas carols in our language which my wife does not speak and some other nonsense. Immediatly my wife said I'm going to bed and ran from the room. I confronted my sister ... for the next hour an argument ensued where my sis soon went after me, my bro and his wife. At that point my bro told my sis to leave (we were all staying at his house) she called a cab, went to my cousins and left for home on X-MAS day. My father missed most of it but I know it broke his heart. Our first X-MAS without mom, who was the only one who ever forced us to deal with sis. Sis finally got voted 'off the island'. On one hand it sucks to do that to anyone on X-MAS on the other she's never had to face many consenquences for her behavior before and we'd had enough after 20 years is this crap from her. damn.... Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 Sounds like you all handled it well by voting her off the island. None of us need toxic people in our lives whether they're related or not. It's all part of being a grownup to choose who to associate with and who to avoid. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted December 26, 2006 Share Posted December 26, 2006 Your sister needs psychiatric help. She's playing power games with your family. As they say, you can pick your friends.... Link to post Share on other sites
shoesies05 Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 Wow, im sorry. You all did the right thing i believe. Is she an alcoholic? maybe and intervention for her with your family and her friends is needed. if she is, try to get her into a clinic. If not, she needs help and should seek couseling. I know you and your family love her, so try to do whatever you can to help her. Because although all of this is hurting the family, it is hurting her a lot more and could get worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sumdude Posted January 2, 2007 Author Share Posted January 2, 2007 Yeah, she does have a drinking problem. These sort of things seem to happen when she reaches a certain drink threshold . I see it as opening the gates of her generally unhappy self which blames everyone else for her woes. I don't know how an intervention could work but it has been considered at times. I know she has seen a shrink in the past but not for long. My sis is awfully self righteous so I doubt she would even listen to a professional if she disagreed with anything that was said. Might explain why her visits didn't go on for long. I'm planning on bringing this up with dad since he's seems to be the only one to be able to have any reasonable communications with her. Link to post Share on other sites
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