liamsac Posted July 30, 2002 Share Posted July 30, 2002 what's your definition of a soulmate? is it possible to have a husband/wife AND a soulmate? thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
jimthzz Posted July 30, 2002 Share Posted July 30, 2002 If you are implying with the label of "Soul Mate" that you are enmeshed with another so completely that you are as one, so in love that NOTHING and NOBODY comes between you then the idea of being married to someone and being SOUL MATES with another is just plain silly and doesn't make sense. Think of this to its logical conclusion. If you are married to someone how can you be a soul mate to another? it is not possible. Your spouse is a distraction from that possibility. Now if yo were to ask if it is possible to totally lust after another person and escape into their arms and feel extreme emotional attachment to them? Sure. but it is an escapist fantasy, a betrayal, a lie, not a soul mates. BTW, if you are married you should not be trying to find a soul mate outside of your marriage. BTW II, if you must look for a soul mate, please end yor marriage first. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 30, 2002 Share Posted July 30, 2002 you don't think it's possible to have a relationship outside of your marriage where one person (regardless of gender) understands you so well that it's scary? I love my husband and I enjoy the sex we have together, but as far as friendships go, he will never understand me as well as my best friend from college does (a guy) or the way my best friend from high school does (a girl). And I consider those two friends to be my soulmates simply because we are that much in tune with each other, possibly because there are no issues of sex that will cloud our relationships the way it sometimes has my marriage. so yeah, I definitely think a person can have a soul mate who isn't necessarily a significant other, and that person isn't necessarily someone you've got to boink in order to claim him/her as a "true" soul mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted July 30, 2002 Share Posted July 30, 2002 When I was married, I thought there was a possibility of having a soul mate that you weren't married to...that's bc I didn't marry my soul mate. There is only one. Now, I think there are what I like to call, "soul friends" where there are these people who are just so perfect in your life they are friend's you know are sent by God. But however, there is just one that fits in your soul...even after they die....just one bc no one can fill their place. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 30, 2002 Share Posted July 30, 2002 because it makes lots of sense, Ally. And it covers the gender and sex issues nicely, without having to explain why you click with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
jimthzz Posted July 30, 2002 Share Posted July 30, 2002 I think that in integral part of this soulmate definition is the sexual connection. Removing that, you have a good friend, it can be a something else, but not a soulmate. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 You can have sex with ANYONE....but to make love with your soul mate is an experience unlike anything else. It's incredible...and that's how they fit in your soul, bc they move it like no one else can. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 I've never considered a soul mate to be anything other than the person your in a r/s with. I've been in relationships where I thought the person was my soul mate. Those r/s have ended, I realize they were not my soul mate. I'm in a not so easy r/s now and I think and feel of him as my soul star. After reading some of theses posts that mention you don't have to have sex with the person for them to be a soul mate, I understand 100%. A close intimacy with someone doesn't have to mean something sexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liamsac Posted July 31, 2002 Author Share Posted July 31, 2002 A close intimacy with someone doesn't have to mean something sexual. =========================== Okay. I kind of understand. Maybe this is what my wife is looking for. She's doesn't have any real friends in our city. She was born and raised in Manila. All her friends are in Manila. Maybe she just needed someone other than me. Thanks again to everyone. Salamat! Link to post Share on other sites
BeReal Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 To me, a soulmate is a best friend, lover and shares many of my values and beliefs. If you're not getting all these things from your spouse, then I think you can find them elsewhere. Take out the sexual chemistry and I guess you could have one outside of your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author liamsac Posted July 31, 2002 Author Share Posted July 31, 2002 To me, a soulmate is a best friend, lover and shares many of my values and beliefs. If you're not getting all these things from your spouse, then I think you can find them elsewhere. ======================== So a soulmate is also a LOVER? There has to be another word you can use. LOVER has a sexual connotation to it. Take out the sexual chemistry and I guess you could have one outside of your marriage. ======================== I agree. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
BeReal Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 When I say the word "Soulmate", I am talking about a romantic partner. I haven't called friends "soulmates" and I don't know that I would. Some people do though so it gets confusing. Link to post Share on other sites
MercyRose Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 I used to wonder about this when I believed 'lost my soulmate' and thought I'd lost my chance for happiness. After all, how could I possibly find someone where I'd experience such magic again. But after having met quite a few people that I connect to on a higher level that felt the same as being with my soulmate minus romance and plus romance in one case, I realised it was not a once in a lifetime thing and drew the conclusion that we must be on the same soul level with certain people to share such a special connection with them. And a soulmate would probably be a romantic relationship with a one of these people where the feelings would be mutual. The closer the soul level with another soul you have, the more magic there is. But we are not just souls, we are human too and there has to be a mutual attraction and desire on many levels for romance to flourish. I have noticed from reading this forum that most problems in love relationships arise from two main things: 1. Love is not mutual 2. The souls of the people involved are on different levels therefore conflict arises from the incompatabilities in communication, behaviour and understanding. Therefore a relationship without these problems in theory should be close to perfect and therefore is an experience that arises from being with your soulmate. i.e Love must be mutual and the soul must be on similar levels in order to have a soul connection. A possible theory drawn from conclusions from my own personal experience Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 A soulmate without a romantic connection isn't a soul mate...it's a soul friend. And I believe you can't search for either of them, they come to you...that's why they are soul mates. Link to post Share on other sites
jimthzz Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 I thnk I'm a t a point where I thinkk the label of "Soul Mate" is getting in the way of defining a paired relationship of deep intimacy with another human being. Some folks think that a soul mate can be a number of people which whom they have a deep level of interaction, yet no romance. others, such as myself, think that you cannot have Soul Mate without this romantic connection as a part of it. Let me put it another way. I am an identical twin. I am very close to my brother. We share the exact same DNA. I could get a kidney from him and never worry about organ rejection. I am as close to him as I can be to another human being can possibly be in physicality, in attitude, and in life experience. But he is not my Soul Mate. Capiche? Link to post Share on other sites
AnamCara{JM} Posted June 14, 2003 Share Posted June 14, 2003 I disagree with you completely. The concept of soulmates is actually an extension of the Celtic spiritual belief of anam cara, same as my name, which means "soul friend." The thought and belief of having soul friends and soulmates has been around for forever. This isn't new. Sex does NOT have to be part of the equation when it comes to a soulmate. With a soulmate there is a feeling of being complete, being heard and understood so keenly, it's like having one mind, one heart, one soul within two bodies. That isn't to say that soulmates agree on everything either, because they don't, but the majority of their feelings and ideas mesh perfectly. Every relationship takes work, whether it's with a friend or a lover/spouse, but with a soulmate, the relationship seems to flow naturally. The work of maintaining and sustaining the relationship doesn't seem as hard and doesn't seem like "work" because there's a natural rhythm and order to it. If, and it's a big if, you're lucky enough to meet your soulmate and be married to him or her, obviously sex is entered into the equation and what you find is that sex is better all the way around. That's not to say that you can't have great sex with someone who isn't your soulmate because you can. I think you're, jimzz, are reading way too much into the whole idea of soulmates and that's not a harsh criticism or even necessarily bad because I believe most people have a misconception about it. You can have more than one soulmate in life. There are many people with whom you can have a soul connection, even of the opposite sex, and it doesn't have to include a sexual relationship. While I believe this, I do also believe there is one TRUE soulmate, in the love sense. I have always believed there is one person for everyone in this world. That isn't to say you can't fall in love with other people, even if you've met and experienced your "one" because people do it all the time. Every love relationship is different and can still be good, but it lacks that certain something that cannot be defined but is found in a true love relationship with your soulmate. Link to post Share on other sites
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