Sassy Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 My SO is finally seeing that things are the way I have been saying they are with his son. He got a rude awakening yesterday with his son. His son packed his bags and went to live with grandma. He didn't like the rules and what my SO had said about being practical and buying a cellphone that wasn't so expensive. His son went and told grandma that my SO said he had to leave which was a lie. SO been finding his son in lies alot here lately doing what he wants and not being where he is suppose to be. Put it this way he is learning his son can be manipulative and all. He aplogised to me for always saying I hated him and not realizing that it was in his best interest of the son. I am hoping that he has really realized that son is this way and I am not out to get his son. He basically told his grandmother that it wasn't her business what he done with his son and she needed to butt out!! He told her he was tired of her always baby his son when he needed to be punished. She said my SO is too hard on his son and needed to let loose . She basically said he needed to be a kid and do whatever. My SO told his mom off and said to butt out of it and he would handle his son. She got him another cellphone when his bio mom was suppose to but her credit was bad and grandma got it for him. My SO thought that he needed clothes more than another cell. He already had a cellphone that grandma had bought him and he run it up with text messaging. I don't get when she will see he needs to learn responsibilty. She was letting them phones go cause she couldn't afford them. Now she goes and buys another one that he can't pay for either. His first bill will be 100.00 and his next ones will be 55.00 . He has a job but he works one or two days a week. He made for 4hrs $25.00. He found out he will only work two more days this month and will not be able to afford this first bill. My SO and him got into this argument because he said he didn't need a phone. He still has to pay for his gas too cause SO said he won't only for school. He will not give him money to burn gas and run the roads anymore. He can only go to school and work. He was mad and that is when he left to go to grandma's. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 He told her he was tired of her always baby his son when he needed to be punished. He is the father, so why wasn't any punishing going on? If he hasn't really stuck to punishing before then of course he is probably not going to now. But that could change possibly. A punishment he could have given him was to not run off to grandma's. I'm not saying he has to close him up in his room but why let him run off to the place where it seems she would let him get away with the most? If he is living with her, then will he have rules there? Doesn't sound like there were many rules anywhere, and even if thre, were they consistant? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sassy Posted December 28, 2006 Author Share Posted December 28, 2006 We try to punish him but grandmother steps in and says we are too hard. He goes crying to her and says we are being mean! He wants to come and go as he pleases and now even more that he has his after hrs license. He has started to buckle down on him over the past yrs and this is why the son is mad. He only ran to grandmas house after my SO said if you don't like the rules and can't abide by them then go live with grandma or your mother if they can do better! We left to go look at a house that we asked him to go with us. He said he was going to think about what his dad said and stay there. When we came back he was gone. Grandma has always favored him more than our daughter. She even still has something to do with his crack head mom after she done SO so wrong ! My SO is tired of his mom and is wanting to stay away like he did a yr ago when she tried to cause friction with our relationship. My SO says she wasn't a good mother to him and she is going to ruin his son if he don't tell her to butt out. This is the first time he told her off about his son . I am so proud of my SO for finally telling her off . She can't control our daughter so I guess she thinks she can control his son. She has caused normorous problems with her granddaughter when SO brother tried disciplining her too. She is older and still turns to grandma. I guess he will do the same when he is out on his own too! We just want him to except a little responsibilty before he gets out in the real world. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 We try to punish him but grandmother steps in and says we are too hard. He goes crying to her and says we are being mean! He wants to come and go as he pleases and now even more that he has his after hrs license. He has started to buckle down on him over the past yrs and this is why the son is mad. He only ran to grandmas house after my SO said if you don't like the rules and can't abide by them then go live with grandma or your mother if they can do better! We left to go look at a house that we asked him to go with us. He said he was going to think about what his dad said and stay there. When we came back he was gone. Grandma has always favored him more than our daughter. She even still has something to do with his crack head mom after she done SO so wrong ! My SO is tired of his mom and is wanting to stay away like he did a yr ago when she tried to cause friction with our relationship. My SO says she wasn't a good mother to him and she is going to ruin his son if he don't tell her to butt out. This is the first time he told her off about his son . I am so proud of my SO for finally telling her off . She can't control our daughter so I guess she thinks she can control his son. She has caused normorous problems with her granddaughter when SO brother tried disciplining her too. She is older and still turns to grandma. I guess he will do the same when he is out on his own too! We just want him to except a little responsibilty before he gets out in the real world. I understgand your SO saying if his son didn't like the rules he could go live with his grandma, but by saying that,it gave his son amunition to do just that. He went to live with her, so now he probably wont have rules, since she seems to think you all are to hard on him. He manipulated his dad, and got what he wanted, out of the house. Now your SO no longer has to deal with it, which just seem like the easy way out. I'm not saying your SO was wrong at all, but what I'm saying is, if it were my son, I would have said, "Sorry, you don't like the rules, its the way its going to be." And left it at that. Since your SO has finally seen what you were trying to say to him all along, now that his son has gone to grandma's, do you think he will take it out on you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sassy Posted December 28, 2006 Author Share Posted December 28, 2006 I understgand your SO saying if his son didn't like the rules he could go live with his grandma, but by saying that,it gave his son amunition to do just that. He went to live with her, so now he probably wont have rules, since she seems to think you all are to hard on him. He manipulated his dad, and got what he wanted, out of the house. Now your SO no longer has to deal with it, which just seem like the easy way out. I'm not saying your SO was wrong at all, but what I'm saying is, if it were my son, I would have said, "Sorry, you don't like the rules, its the way its going to be." And left it at that. Since your SO has finally seen what you were trying to say to him all along, now that his son has gone to grandma's, do you think he will take it out on you? He is back home my SO told him he had 30 minutes to get home and he came home less than 30 mins. He don't want rules and my SO use to not give him any and now that he has he don't like it! That is the problem and grandma says he is a good boy! He is a good child but he is manipulative . He can do wrong but many people don't think he can except us . He told a bunch of lies that night and my SO is seeing how he really is. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 He is back home my SO told him he had 30 minutes to get home and he came home less than 30 mins. I guess your SO was just venting when he said if he didn't like the rules he could go live with his grandma then. He told a bunch of lies that night and my SO is seeing how he really is. Well, hopefully now with him back home, your SO can set some rules and really inforce them, and hopefully his son wil abide by them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sassy Posted December 29, 2006 Author Share Posted December 29, 2006 He is back home my SO told him he had 30 minutes to get home and he came home less than 30 mins. I guess your SO was just venting when he said if he didn't like the rules he could go live with his grandma then. He told a bunch of lies that night and my SO is seeing how he really is. Well, hopefully now with him back home, your SO can set some rules and really inforce them, and hopefully his son wil abide by them. Yeah I was hoping that he would but today dad is at work and called to see if he knew he left. He said no didn't know! I was here in the bathroom and walked right out! I am not worrying about it it's headache not mine! I see trouble for his son but that is on him not me! I have done all I can and that is all I can do. I am focusing on me and preparing for a new pregnancy! I don't need all this unnecessary stress when trying to get pregnant. It is all up to my SO now! IM DONE.... Link to post Share on other sites
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