Bill Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 Well... If matters were not bad as it is, now I have another decision to make when the other decision isn't even made yet. I'm going to go over the whole story. Mid May: met a girl, said she was 18, I'm 19 (turning 20 in a week). End May: Became g/f and b/f. We had a lot of good times spending time with each other .. like skating, going to theme parks, etc. She never wanted me to let her mom know about me, and always said that I went to her high school. I thought this was weird, but she had said her parents were weird. She told me that she failed a lot of courses and she had to spend 2 more years at high school to finish those. She went as far as to wear an arm brace the first week of meeting her and said it was from a car accident that she had (explaining why she wasn't driving now). Well, I never thought anything more. I received a few emails coming from her mom (or so I thought) seeing if I would like to send her daughter a surprise present when she was at her pageant. Well, in the email it also said that she was letting the relationship go even though she did not like her daughter dating, etc, etc. She even went as far as to say that I do not need to provide information about myself. I was upset that day, as I thought her mother was so cold. Well later that night my mother saw me upset and decided to ask for the number of her parents. She called, and they said they never even emailed! It was the girl that forged these emails. The girl turned out to be 16, instead of 18. The accident was also fake. Well, I talked to the girl's mom after that and decided to go over there to speak to the girl. When I came to the door, she answered, I said I needed to speak to her, and she closed the door in my face and ran to her room. I went in my car and called her mom from my cell phone, 10 seconds later, door opened I was let in to talk to her. We talked for about 1 hour, she was crying and all and saying that everyone of her friends believes she is 18 as well. (I later checked this story out and it was true). She claimed that I would have never liked her if she told me how old she really was. I thought she was being very sincere with all of this, even after the lie that she made. My mother was very mad at this girl because of the lies that she made. During these 2 months I had drove about 30 minutes each time just to see this girl. I really did like her for who she was. When I talked to her that night I decided that I did like her, but was still confused over the age situation. We talked on the phone after that, 3 days later. She was saying how sorry she was and how she would not lie to me again, and she promised this. I was forgiving her for this, but was unsure of whether go get back with her. I really did care about her and was willing to do so, and I told her this. Her mom did not like the age situation and called me later that day to tell me this, I spoke to her for about 30 minutes and she was upset that her daughter met me over the internet. She was saying how it could have been some killer or such, but was glad that it was not. Well the girl later suggested in a later call we had that she wanted to "wait" for me, until she was 18. Well I was thinking about this a lot. And I am not sure if I am blinded by the love I had for her or the time we had spent together. I am so unsure of what to do. I was talking to her and when I do, I just think about how much I did love her. I told her that I would wait for her. I think about this, and how it would be like. It would be nice to be with her 2 years from now, but what am I acting on? Now tonight, my mother came to my office and put down a paper with a girl's name and number on it. She said "This girl want's you to call her tomorrow night, she is 19, turning 20 in a couple weeks and is in Law School". My mom knows this girl's mom, and she has been kept up to date on what has happened with that other girl, except for the waiting situation. I still pay about $20 a month to have a service to call the first girl, and I have not talked to her at all since Sunday, as she has not contacted me. I am really unsure of what to do. I know that I do love that first girl, but can that ever work with the situation. I think I may be blinded by love, and I can't see past this. I am not sure if what I'm doing is the right thing. I am planning to contact this other girl tomorrow night, ask her out to dinner, just to see what happens to my mind with that. I had told the first girl that this might happen, and she told me to see the girl, but she still wants to wait for me. She said "go on one date, then tell her our story". I don't know if this is what I want to do or not... I don't know what happens if I like this girl or not. I do know that if the first girl was able to be with me right now, I would do that, but maybe love is blind? HELP ME PLEASE, IM GOING CRAZY!!!! *if this post seems long, I'm sorry, I just type fast (about 145wpm burst as measured by a computer program) Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 Bill, honey, how can you ever have a relationship with someone who has gone to the lengths she has to LIE to you. I mean, telling a lie is one thing, but going way out of her way to try to make the lie more believable is REALLY scary to me. First of all, if love is blind, her age would have never mattered. And truth be known, she has probably sworn you off to her parents and built up some big lie with THEM and then telling you ANOTHER lie to keep you away from her. This sounds REALLY toxic, and I don't see how you can say that you know how or who she is anyway. Liars cause nothing but EXTREMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE heartache in a relationship, and I'm sure you are seeing now. And she's 16 and hasn't learned to tell the truth yet? Bill, don't fool yourself, you CAN'T love her out of this. Ask the other girl out, it may go no where, but it will be good for you to get out and meet new people. GOD I HATE FEMALES....this seriously has me sad. I'm sorry, Bill. Link to post Share on other sites
BeReal Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 Bill, it sounds like this girl has significant problems. I believe you are blinded by love, infatuation etc. I wonder what motivated her to make up such a story and lie so much. Don't wait for her. Go out and have fun. If you guys hook up in 2 years then so be it. You pay $20 for a service? Do you mean a long distance plan? You can buy calling cards that work out to be 4 cents a minute. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 Wow. This girl has a serious problem with the truth. Why on earth would you want to be with someone who lied to you to this extent? It doesn't bode well for the future--her lies will likely continue. Are you even sure who/what you are in love with? How do you know she's not lying about other things? It's easy to get blinded and get into a comfort level with a person to the extent that it's hard to let them go. This girl only represents two months out of your life. Two months ago you were living fine without her. You can be fine without her again. I don't know Bill, you seem to have a knack for finding girls with serious emotional problems. Why do you think that is? Maybe you need to be a bit more discerning and skeptical when you meet people. Do you have an unconscious desire to "rescue" people? You don't have to put up with this. There are loads of emotionally secure girls out there who would not lie to you. Listen to your mom. Go out with the new girl. Do not even bring up the old girl. Do not tell her this story. She will think you are nuts if you do. I wouldn't be impressed with a guy who would put up with that kind of behavior from someone. Have an open mind. If you like her, go out with her again. The first girl has no hold on you or what you do with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
sunflower Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 Bill, I read your post, and I understand where you are coming from. But please listen to these wise replies that you are getting today. Do yourself a favour and go out with the other girl, but DO NOT tell her about the first girl. What the hell purpose would that serve? From a woman's point of view darling, I can tell you now, that I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of the first-girl story, ON A FIRST DATE with a guy. So forget about it for the time being, you need to move away from this situation, and see it from all different angles. Despite the fact that you like her and enjoy her company, and want to be with her, keep in mind that she lied to you. If after a time of separation, you continue to feel that you want to be with her and be in her company, and that you feel you can forgive her lying, then take it from there darling. Right now, there should be no confusion on your part. Do what you KNOW must be done, and everything else should fall into place OK? Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 RUN! when someone finds it that easy to create stories -- for whatever reasons -- to get another person's attention, they're prolly not someone you want to be around long, because one lie leads to another, then another and you don't know what's true and what's contrived. And from the looks of it, she doesn't seem to have any problems creating stories if she's lied to you and her parents about her relationship with you. as hooked as you are on her, believe me, you don't need that kind of garbage in your life. I've got relatives like that, and it's very hard to be around them because I just don't believe anything that comes out of their mouths -- how does that make for a good relationship? you're better off meeting other girls, other MATURE girls. You seem like a good guy, one who doesn't need the kind of problems a girl like this one could only offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 There are some people who are admitted pathological liars....my ex bf being one of them. He just like couldn't tell the truth, even if he wanted to. They get some kinda high from knowing the truth, and looking at someone as being "stupid" for believing them. Stay away from her, honey, she's just going to bring you down, and you are WAY too good of a guy to have someone that has this horribly hurtful behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bill Posted July 31, 2002 Author Share Posted July 31, 2002 I was not ever thinking of telling this girl that I might meet tonight about the first girl. That's definately the wrong thing to do. If I happen to like this new girl, then so be it, I'll be with her. It's just really hard when you love someone to let them go, but I do not know if this love was sparked because of the lies or not. If it works out between this new girl and I, well, then that is where I will be. Even if it doesn't work out, I will still be thinking of what to do. I don't think that I could be exclusive to someone that lied to me, for the reason that I have trouble believing things now, even if they are true. Clia: I do not look for girls with emotional problems at all! I had no idea it was like this. I just have bad luck in this department. Thank you for all of your help. I'm going to ask this girl if she wants to go out on a date tonight . Link to post Share on other sites
BookGurl Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 WAY TO GO BILL!!! All the best, J. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 31, 2002 Share Posted July 31, 2002 Bill, I wasn't trying to say that you go after this type of girl, but you do seem to attract them. Do you think you're putting out the wrong kind of vibe? I just don't understand why you keep meeting girls who treat you like crap when there are so many great girls out there! Have fun on your date! Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted August 1, 2002 Share Posted August 1, 2002 Hey Bill, let us know what she says! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bill Posted August 1, 2002 Author Share Posted August 1, 2002 I'll have to let you know tomorrow. I was unable to get in contact with this girl. I let a message with her mother, but I called later and no answer . I'll try again tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bill Posted August 2, 2002 Author Share Posted August 2, 2002 After three days of calling... contacting this other girl's parents... nothing. They say she is rarely at home ... out at all hours. Doesn't sound like someone that would be compatible with me. She has not even returned my calls. My parents thought this was odd, as they didn't think she was out like that. Who knows where... Besides, I would not have been able to do anything when my heart belongs to someone else. I know that everything was done like that, but it is true that she meant only good for us. I think about her more now than when I was with her. I even wrote a computer program to tell me how many months, days, hours, minutes it is away that her and I *could* be together. My mind isn't too clear right now, but I know I want happiness. She was the only girl that was true to liking me for who I am, and that makes me really sad. I'll have to see what I'm thinking in a while. We've been out of contact for a while now, her and I. The contact we have is basically a chain through her friends and mine, as to not draw attention to this. Soon we are to contact each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted August 2, 2002 Share Posted August 2, 2002 How are you SURE that she loved you for who you are, when she has lied to you like she has. If she was loving you as much as she said, NOTHING would keep you two away from each other. And you WOULDN'T lose contact. I mean, come on, she's a GIRL. Girls are the worst in letting go. Link to post Share on other sites
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