Guest Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 I know this must sound crazy but I still want to ask for some advices, thanks. I just met my bf recently and at the beginning neither one of us really thought too much about it....I mean, I wasn't really thinking about dating him but we suddenly started and we fell crazily in love with each other...I have never felt sooo in love (it's scary) that I feel so happy and yet so heartache...the reason is that he's leaving back to Japan (I'm in Canada) by end of next month! That means we can only have about a month together. I know, we don't even know each other THAT well and all we have now is the complete emotional attraction between us.....could it only be becuz he's leaving so soon and that's why we fall so deeply? we've been feeling so crazy that he also asked if I would move there. The thing is, I know this is quite impossible and it's very pointless to even begin...I dunno if it's a mistake but just the past week was the happiness time of this year, in fact, I haven't felt so deeply for someone for the longest time! It's so odd to feel this way but, we both seem to understand each other very well even though we have some language barrier, we often know what each other was about to say or to do, it's unbelievable. Maybe I'm too naive, but I just feel so sad that, when I meet someone so sweet, so considerate and wonderful and yet he has to go..... I dun really know what to do, every min pass by I seem to fall deeper in love with him and he seems to be like this too, he calls me several times a day and text me as much, and we see each other everyday......I am really happy this time, but I'm also afraid that I'm gonna fall so hard and it'd be sooooo painful when he leaves...we talked about this and it seems that it's very slim chance that he can stay, if he does, he'd have little money as a visitor visa..and he wants to work again soon too....so pretty much unless I go there, its' too hard for it to work... Yet, it's even harder now to just stop seeing him, I really don't know what to do, I'm so happy now that I'm sad. I dunno why this is happening... Anyway, thanks for reading and hopefully I can get some advices, thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Poboy Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 if you have met recently & fallen in love quickly , in the long run ... LDR wont work. over time , due to lack of spending a lot of time together before he leaves & after he has left will cause things to slow down and it will get more difficult... ive been thru something like that ... so whatever you do , keep in mind the possibility of such a thing happening ... good luck Link to post Share on other sites
coastallinguist Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 Well... with Canadian nationality it's possible that you could take a working holiday in Japan for up to 12 months I think. If you believe that he may be the man for you... it might be worth it. Then again, experience has showed me that a person is often much different when they are at home, surrounded by friends and family. They often revert to a person that is somehow less than the one who has ventured out. Something about that perspective shift goes away when they get back... often enough. So, you might find it frustrating. My suggestion... give it a month with him gone. See if you feel like you can't live without him. A friend of mine did that when she moved back home to Colombia. A month later she was in California getting married to a gringo. 6 years later she's in Colombia with her baby for Christmas and daddy will get there in just a few days. It can work, despite language and culture barriers. It's just about making a relationship a priority. Link to post Share on other sites
inthedilema Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 if you have met recently & fallen in love quickly , in the long run ... LDR wont work. over time , due to lack of spending a lot of time together before he leaves & after he has left will cause things to slow down and it will get more difficult... ive been thru something like that ... so whatever you do , keep in mind the possibility of such a thing happening ... good luck gUEST, I dont know what would be the best advice to you. It happened to me too ,and just last end of november he left for good. I dont knw whether it was merely excitement, yet I was pretty happy with him and both of us were enjoying every moment we spent. And it was pretty frustating the last few days before he left. The situation was so odd and both of us tried to avoid each other.Until one day, out of the blue we had an argument and we openned our feeling . it was so sweet and i should say we understand each other more. Because we knew that we had someting between us yet we also knew we have no chance. I was drinking a lot for a while just to get rid of this frustation. Now i am feeling better even though i am still thinking of him . I think it is better you face the fact that he is leaving and just take it as a sweet memory to remember. Sorry, it might not what u want to hear , but it is better to forget him. I know it is hard to do, but you will be fine. Good luck..! Link to post Share on other sites
funkify Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 So what happened then? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 So what happened then? Hi! Sorry I didn't check this forum often and I just came back suddenly... My boyfriend went back about 3 weeks ago and we're doing long d now... I know most people would think it's a waste of time but we're very determine to be together, at least for the time being! He promised he'll come back in August and he wants to meet my parents, and I've decided to go and visit him end of April as well, and since I've never been to Hokkaido I thought it maybe nice for me to visit too! Only 10 days though but I guess it's better than nothing! The first week was so difficult, I cried alot, but now I'm feeling better, we spend alot of time talking on webcam everyday, but I know once he found a job he'll be really busy and I won't get to talk to him much....I don't know how it will be but I can only hope for the best. But we also made plans that hopefully the long distance wouldn't last over one year, and he is considering moving here! On my side, I'm still thinking but because I already have a permanent job here I don't know if I want to move...especially it's still a short time, I'll just wait & see, oh I miss him so much. Link to post Share on other sites
funkify Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Well that's wonderful to hear that you are both determined to make it work. I've got a similar situation http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t111320/ At the moment I'm deciding whether to save myself heartbreak and break it off now or just continue seeing him until he leaves in 1 mth. He could be gone up to 4 years but no less than 1 year. We aren't 'in love' but do feel v strongly and these kinds of decisions are v big when you've only known the person for 1 mth. The only thing that will determine if we're meant to be is how he feels about me once he's O/S. I can only hope that it makes him miss me more rather than forget all about me Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 It's not easy at all...it's been 4 weeks since he left now, and recently I've become very depress from time to time...sometimes I feel alright and happy and looking forward to seeing him in two months, at times I just suddenly get upset about little things....I do have some depression problem too which makes it even harder especially when he's not here. He assured me everyday that he loves me and that he won't change, but I still have trouble dealing with it. So much uncertainty, so insecure. Right now I'm trying to stay sane, because I don't want to give him too much pressure....he'll be starting work in 2 weeks and then he'd be even busier...I dont' know what the future holds but so far we're still going throught this...hopefully things would be alright, and I will be seeing him in two months! But just for 10 days...better than nothing though! Link to post Share on other sites
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