How to get over unrequited love ?

[Watcher07]

I’m 32 years old, I’ve been in love with a wonderful girl, but unfortunately the feelings were not mutual. It was not easy for me to forget her, every time I promise myself to move on, and I do manage that for a month or two but then I start longing for her.

 

The problem is that I see her all the time, because we are working in the same office. And before you say that I should leave the work, I can’t because I need the money.

 

We have professional relationship at the office, but I do keep in touch with her by email & chat.

 

Now, I came to the point where I really need to stop thinking of her, since that there is no hope at all in this relationship. I need to move on & not only that but I’ve enough of relationships & just want to be single & happy in the same time.

 

So, what I need is:

 

1- To overcome this feeling & move on & forget her.

2- How to be single & happy in the same time.

 

I don’t know how to do that; I really need your advice.

 

Thanks for your time,

[jusified]

LOL well just fall in love with someone else

 

but to be single and happy?? accept yourself, self confidence, keep youself busy with activities (Sport, hobby etc) and work. Work on all these (Specially confidence and the way you talk to women) you will find that eventually you will have the right person with you when you least expect it.

[bella07]

its hard . i'm 18 and knowing that the person u have feelings for doesnt feel the same way hurts really bad. But ur 32 so hopefully u have heaps of experience in dealing with it. just always tell urself u dont need other people to make u feel complete. Other people just enrich ur life. Maybe go out to other places and don't just limit urself to the workplace. And keep urself busy. U will be fine dw. It just takes time.

[alphamale]

1- To overcome this feeling & move on & forget her.

- start dating someone where there's mutual interest...

 

2- How to be single & happy in the same time.

- start dating someone where there's mutual interest...

[whichwayisup]

We have professional relationship at the office, but I do keep in touch with her by email & chat.

 

Stop keeping intouch with her through emails and chatting. Keep things professional because of your feelings. It's nearly impossible to get over someone and the feelings if you're still putting energy into her. You may not mentally be expecting anything back, but emotionally you're setting yourself up for another fall - Meaning your heart.

[whichwayisup]

1- To overcome this feeling & move on & forget her.

2- How to be single & happy in the same time.

 

1)Read my above answer.

2)Find hobbies, try new things, spend time with your friends and family, take a course, join a gym, do sports. By putting yourself out there, you raise the chances of meeting someone new and also keeps you busy so your mind doesn't wander to her.

[laRubiaBonita]

Stop keeping intouch with her through emails and chatting. Keep things professional because of your feelings. It's nearly impossible to get over someone and the feelings if you're still putting energy into her. You may not mentally be expecting anything back, but emotionally you're setting yourself up for another fall - Meaning your heart.

 

AGREED!

[notmakingsense]

Start dating someone where there's mutual interest...

 

I'm with Alpha and the others... cut back on all but necessary professional communication with her, spend time on hobbies, work out to feel/look good, get out with your friends and start dating. There are other women out there for you who will return your feelings, but you need to get out there before you will find them!

[ddnnee]

i know exactly how the OP feels. I too had strong emotions for a girl for a long time but the feeling wasn't reciprocated. I had to find ways to deal with my wants. I found it best to start molding your thoughts about the girl by thinking about the negative things about her. After a while, you will wonder why you like her in the first place.

 

For example:

1) i thought the girl i liked was very smart, but she wasn't street smart and that would be bad in the long run.

2) she lives with her brother and they both seem secluded. i concluded they have an incestual relationship - which is a turn down for me.

3) her family is of a certain region which i disliked.

4) she has no father, causing abnormal emotional problems.

5) too passive.

[Watcher07]

First, thank for your advices. It seem from your advices that the key word is to keep myself "busy".

 

I'll try to keep myself very busy, but my question is, will it work, did anyone actually tried this way to get over old love.

 

The thing is, that I don't really trust myself to forget her completely & I need to do/think of things that will make it easy for me to get over it.

 

I don't know,

[lovesagame]

Keeping you busy will keep you distracted, for the main thing about coping is to get control of your thoughts.

 

Keep in mind that the less you think of her, the faster you will get over her.

 

I know, easier said than done, but give yourself time. Accept your feelings for the moment. Keep your relationship with her professional, no more contact beyond this.

 

Concentrate on yourself. Set yourself goals: in the office, maybe in the gym/court, personal goals, etc.

 

You do not need others to be happy, happiness comes from within!

 

All the best,

 

Edin

[Guest]

I've been you and believe me, I know how unbelievably hard it can be. Here is what you have to do: Stop thinking there is any chance. You probably think you have done that, but if you find yourself wishing she would like you or daydreaming scenarios about the two fo you, you really haven't let go.

 

You have to let go rationally before you can let go emotionally. So you have to understand logically first, ok this person and I are not going to be together, she isn't going to change her mind. I know this sounds harsh, but you have to accept it in your mind before you accept it in your heart. Then you'll start to see them differently...slowly at first, but this has worked for me in the past.