Stormdesire Posted August 2, 2002 Share Posted August 2, 2002 I have meet a wonderful man on line, and we have never seen each other to face yet, but we talk on the phone everyday about 5 times a day for 6 months now. He has a 8 year old girl that lives with him. i feel i know him very well, but he has alot of money problems its hard for him to make ends meet?t.rent,phonebill, babysitter fees,car payments ect, so often i find him asking me to send him money,at first it was ok i wanted to help him in anyway i could, but now he asks me all the time i turn around and i know that he really does need the money but im starting to wonder if he sees me as aide for his money problems or does he really care about me or am i being used ? He never presures me for money, he just asks often. and i dont want to jump to conclusions, hes always so kind, caring, understanding,quiet, shy just a great guy who makes me happier than i have been in a very long time. so can someone please try to help me figure this out thankyou so very much. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted August 2, 2002 Share Posted August 2, 2002 Absolutely! You've never even seen this guy face to face and you are sending money to him! He can be ANYONE. You don't know him, no matter how much you think you do. Then again, even in person you don't know someone till after so many years. You need to realize that he is using you, even if he really does care for you. Make it known that you cannot give him money anymore. Remember: Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. Link to post Share on other sites
BeReal Posted August 2, 2002 Share Posted August 2, 2002 I don't know if you are being used but maybe you should stop sending him money and see what he does. This man is not responsible with money. If he's so broke, he shouldn't be calling you 5 times a day adding to his phone bill. I assume you live a ways away or you would have met by now. Have you exchanged pictures? Do you have plans to meet? Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted August 2, 2002 Share Posted August 2, 2002 Good point, BeReal. It takes a big man to ask a woman he's never met for money OFTEN. You know it's not right, and you know you are being used. Tell him that giving him money is causing your own financial problems and you can't afford to help him anymore. I totally agree, if he's having so many money problems, he shouldn't be adding to his phone bill. Another thing is....What did he do when you weren't around? Maybe had someone else give him money? You aren't his mother....REMEMBER THAT! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 2, 2002 Share Posted August 2, 2002 Any man who feels comfortable with constantly asking a woman he has never met to send him money is a user, a fraud, and good for nothing. I wouldn't ask a woman for money even once but this repeated stuff has gone way, way too far. This is NOT a man you want to have in your life. Tell him straight out, you do not feel comfortable at all with the fact that he is constantly asking you for money. Ask him why he spends so much on phone calls when he can't pay his bills. Having a man like this in your life would be total misery forever. Go find a nice guy in your area who doesn't freeload off of nice, generous ladies like you. Make sure he's not a con man like the guy you've been talking to. Take the money you would be sending this guy and start a nice retirement fund for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stormdesire Posted August 2, 2002 Author Share Posted August 2, 2002 I want to thank those of you who have takin time to help me with this problem im faceing and to answer some of the questions that you all have asked me, i live in newyork and he lives in boston. and yes what would he have done if i wasint in his life ?yes we have exchanged pictures, and i also have a picture of his little girl, that he has had custudy of ever since she was born, because her mother decided that she didint want her for no apparent reason at all, she is a very sweet ,smart, friendly little girl and i feel she does need a mother figure in her life. When i let him know that i dont have money to send him, hes fine with it and he wont ask me anymore unless he really needs to, and he never changes towards me because of it. and yes we make plenty of plans to meet but because of my work and his work schedule , something always gets in the way of our meeting , but we will . But i must be totally honest that i have been in alot of relationships were i have been lied to, cheated on, and used. and because of all that pain in my past i hope that im not taking his need of help in the wrong way because of what others have done to me in the past!!!! THANKYOU ALL SO MUCH. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Stormdesire Posted August 2, 2002 Author Share Posted August 2, 2002 I have made a reply to all of the questions you all have asked me , please read when you have a chance . i named it Long Distance. In reply, i hope you all recieve it. Link to post Share on other sites
BeReal Posted August 3, 2002 Share Posted August 3, 2002 I don't think you can know if he is right until you have spent some time together in person. You're making excuses for him asking you for money. It just doesn't sound quite right. He should be looking into getting child support or government assistance, being more financially responsible etc. Link to post Share on other sites
sissy Posted August 28, 2002 Share Posted August 28, 2002 I would not send him anymore money... I know that you feel like you really know him, but I assure you that you probably don't. I too had an online relationship with a man I met online, we have talked everyday for the last 7 months. We planned to meet, but he always had to cancel for his work. I felt that he was being honest with me, we discussed honesty alot. Then yesterday, I was driving to spend the week with him (1000 miles one way) 400 miles into the trip, I called his house and his girlfriend answered. I had talked to him all hours of the day and night, called his house, cell phone. I never thought..... I also felt that I really knew him. Just my experience, it is hard to trust......... but even harder at a distance. What do you get out of this relationship? Just my opinion.... Sissy Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted August 28, 2002 Share Posted August 28, 2002 You should ask him for all the receipts he has from the money you have giving to him. For all you know hes taking some hot chick out on the town for money you gave him. Yes, stop! Yes ask for receipts for proof. Link to post Share on other sites
tasha Posted September 10, 2002 Share Posted September 10, 2002 i think he is using you and i dont mean to be harsh but he shouldnt ask you all the time/alot . and to you dont give him it, you have it , its yours not his.......you aint even met him.......or how about just bein mates for the moment but make it clear that you aint goona give him it all the time/atall. i hope it helps......gd luck Link to post Share on other sites
honeybee255 Posted September 11, 2002 Share Posted September 11, 2002 # 1 you dont know this guy. #2 The red flag shouldve came up immediately after he started to mooch(its wrong,wrong,wrong)..im a young female(22) and i can support myself and my whole family and i dont make squat. #3 You dont know a thing about anything to what he is saying to you. #4 your an adult(least i think you are) and common sense shouldve kicked in a long time ago. Im being blunt and honest because it makes me so angry when people act niave like that. There is nothing wrong with meeting someone over the net in my opinion, as long as you do it right( not alone, do background checks, see the RED FLAGS, ya'll know or most of ya's do). I met someone on the net before (2ppl actually--and im good friends with them to this day). But its still a risk like meeting anyone(bars, clubs, blind dates). There is innocent people getting killed each day, most who are innocent for different things and here you are being niave over someone you never met to give, give, give which is setting yourself up for dangerous grounds ( what will he ask for next and if you dont give it to him, then what?). I dont care how nice and sweet he might sound. Get the goodies on him and figure him out in person for quite sometime..I mean you wouldnt just marry someone you met in one day would you?? Sorry if i come across harsh, its just a reality check.. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflyz Posted September 22, 2002 Share Posted September 22, 2002 you are being lied to and cheated again. I know you want to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and would like to be a mother figure to his kid - but - find someone that won't use you. Link to post Share on other sites
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