Bill Posted August 3, 2002 Share Posted August 3, 2002 I don't see what I'm doing wrong. I'm 19, to be 20 in a few days. I've had three girlfriends to date. One for 2 years, that left me after cheating on me many times. Her parents said she never respected me. Another I met online... well, that one was bad, she left me for her ex. She left him a week later as I heard. Then I met a third girl, and she lied to me about her age, and relationship was over as quickly as it started, by her parents. They weren't mean about it, they just told me they didnt like the age thing. Well here I am, sitting at home all night. I sit here EVERY night. I hate school, but I have a 3.96 GPA in Electrical Engineering. I'm even getting into the Honors College thing, and I'm already in the Honors Society. I don't like going to school though, it doesn't interest me. I absolutely HATE reading books; I detest it. It just feels like my whole life is falling apart. I sit here alone... no one cares. I always treated everyone with all the respect I could give them, and I always did my best to make everyone happy. I only work three days a week.. in the summer. My job is at a computer company, but I'm not happy there. I'm not happy right now either. I really hate my life. My birthday is insignificant, as it will be like the others, except I will have no one to share this dull birthday with. It'd be helpful if I had nicer friends. My friends, to say the least, have changed. Well, most have moved away. One just never wants to go ANYWHERE, ever. I can't meet girls at all. I have no where to go, and no one to go with. I have no real friends, so I can't talk to anyone. Even if I died tonight, no one would be there to cry for me. I don't know what to do.... Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted August 3, 2002 Share Posted August 3, 2002 It looks to me like you are depending on other people to make YOU happy. You look for a girlfriend, you look to your friends, etc. The only person that can make you happy is YOU. What will make you happy? What do YOU want to do? Are you majoring in EE because it's the practical, smart thing to do, or because it's what you really want to do? Make a list of things that would make you happy...maybe that will give you some insight into what you need to do next. You have complete control over your life and who you let into it. Please don't sit at home and feel sorry for yourself. Find a job you like better; I'm sure they're out there, and I'm sure you're qualified. Find new friends who like to do the things you like to do. Get to know girls better before you label them your "girlfriend." Protect your heart. There are quality people out there...and believe me, I know how you feel. But if you aren't happy with the direction you're heading, you are young and have plenty of time to change that direction. You will meet tons of new, different people as the years go on. It's hard to give you advice on what you are doing wrong when I don't even know you or how you interact with others on a day to day basis. If you care to elaborate, please do so. Look, we all go through hard times. I had to end a relationship with a guy who is my dream guy because he's so commitment phobic that I know it will cause me too much anguish and heartache in the future to stay in contact with him. We go on. Even when it's hard, we go on. Becuase there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and each person we meet who isn't the right one leads us one step closer to the person who is the right one. But that should not be your checkpoint in life. You should be able to live and be happy on your own. Being single is not the end of the world. In fact, being single can be great. You call all your own shots. You don't have to sit at home tonight. Go out. Why are you sitting at home? Go out to a restaurant and have dinner. Go to a movie. You don't need someone with you to do those things. If those don't appeal to you, do something else you like to do. Life isn't a couples event, no matter what society tells you. It's perfectly acceptable to go and do things on your own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bill Posted August 3, 2002 Author Share Posted August 3, 2002 just to let you know, I don't need a girlfriend. I just need ANYONE to spend some time with, a friend, anyone ANYONE....... Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted August 3, 2002 Share Posted August 3, 2002 I really know how you feel, Bill. Link to post Share on other sites
BeReal Posted August 3, 2002 Share Posted August 3, 2002 What about your family? Spend some time with them. It sounds like your between friends. Get out more and look for opportunities to meet people. Do something fun for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
MercyRose Posted August 3, 2002 Share Posted August 3, 2002 Unfortunately when you are sad, everything around you makes you feel sad, your job, your room, yourself. When you are happy everything around you makes you happy. There is nothing in the world that can make you happy unless you are already happy. But thats the real problem, what is it deep inside of us that makes us so sad, and what is it that will make us truly happy? I don't know the answer. But what I do know is for some weird reason we go through sad happy cycles, so all I can tell you Bill is to wait it out, till this really down period you are trapped in gets more bearable and then gradually disappears-for a while. I don't think you can truly get out of it completely till you find the secret to true happiness inside yourself. We just jump between happy/sad states throughout the day, weeks, months and years. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted August 3, 2002 Share Posted August 3, 2002 But when you have those sad states too often, and they make you TOO depressed, it might be a good idea to seek help from a professional. Depression is hereditary, and it is a very common illness. Getting on medication for depression will actually make you feel better...you might even be brave enough to go to places by yourself so you can meet people on your own. Link to post Share on other sites
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