Should I forgive her?

[jobaba]

I was recently out drinking with my girlfriend of about a year and one of my work buddies (who she only met once before). They talked a bit during the night, but not much. At the end of the night we were all plastered and took a cab home as my buddy lives by me. In the cab, she starts telling me she doesn't love me and I should date other girls (she has done this a few times before when plastered but it always ends up being a joke). Then, without warning, she says she likes my buddy and starts kissing him in front of me. I storm out of the cab and walk home. She tracks me down and I tell her to get lost. Next morning, I told her it was over, but she came over on her own and we hung out for a bit. She says she doesn't know why she did it. She's away for a trip right now.

 

What does anybody think of this kind of cheating, obviously done to make me mad/jealous/embarrass me as opposed to liking the other guy? Also, my buddy did kiss her back. So I am pissed at him too. How severe would anybody consider this?

 

She is around lots of guys who pursue her and she has never been unfaithful (I believe her) before. A big part of me wants to stay with her as she is one of the only good things in my life right now (miserable job, etc.) What should I do?

[Bryanp]

I think that is really sick. You say your girlfriend has done this type of before when she is drunk. This is totally unacceptable and totally disrespectful and humiliating to you. You left her in the cab with this guy. How do you something more did not occur and she did not go home with him? I honestly do not know how you could stay in a relationship with a girlfriend when she gets drunks starts making out with other men in front of you. It is really sick. She has got a lot of problems. The fact that she says she does not know why she does these things is a real clue that she is head case and will hurt you in the end.

[reservoirdog1]

Man, you are so completely wasting your time with an attention-seeking whore like her. Being drunk doesn't change who we are -- it just strips away our inhibitions and makes it easier to allow ourselves to do things we're already inclined or tempted to do.

 

I'd bet dollars to donuts that she's already cheated on you before. And if you stay with her, she'll humiliate you again -- only worse next time, because she'll have decided that she can do pretty much anything and you'll take her back.

 

You've only been with her a year. Add to that the sh*t that went down in the cab... sorry buddy, but I've gotta be blunt. If you stay with her you'll be a complete chump, and you better get used to tasting a dozen other guys every time you kiss her.

[jobaba]

Nothing else happened after the taxicab because she chased me home. I think she was trying to piss me off and my buddy wasn't really a factor, but I could be wrong. There might have been some physical attraction. I was just putting this question out there because it doesn't fall within your run of the mill 'slept with guy from work' cheating category. Most people seem to think it's worse, interestingly. I didn't initially...

[reservoirdog1]

That's assuming that she DIDN'T sleep with a guy from work. Or several. Or the LA Lakers.

 

Dude, not only did she disrespect you with her actions, but she did it IN FRONT OF YOU, WITH YOUR "FRIEND". She didn't sneak around, hoping you wouldn't find out. She RUBBED IT IN YOUR FACE. The only thing that would further clarify her lack of regard for you would be for her to wear a t-shirt saying "MY BF HAS A TINY LITTLE DICK" or something similar.

 

I'm going to venture a guess that you're in your early 20s. You're young, and there are so many better women out there, dude. You deserve so much more than the sh*t she's handing you.

[jobaba]

Reservoir,

 

For some reason, I don't think she has cheated on me before. I've seen many guys hit on her and her turn them down. And my 'friend' is kind of an overweight, quiet guy. I was thinking of staying with her in a lesser capacity while I look around as she is a real fun girl and the sex is good. But that could get messy...

[Old Dog]

Yes, you should forgive her. And, then you should leave her.

 

She gave away her dignity when she did what she did. She can't take away yours.

[whichwayisup]

Three words...END IT NOW.

 

You can do better, why waste your time with a girl who isn't and wont' respect you, is playing games with you and isn't inlove with you? People who ARE inlove DO NOT do what she is doing.

 

Don't play games back, just end it and heal yourself.

[BlueEyedSarah]

A big part of me wants to stay with her as she is one of the only good things in my life right now (miserable job, etc.) What should I do?

I think its up to how you feel.

 

In my opinion what she has done is an unforgivable mistake. You deserve a better girl. Don't be tied to this girl. go out and find a better girl.

[Sal Paradise]

She has some serious emotional issues. For her to do that in front of you indicates some sort of deep seeded resentment toward you. She was basically trying to hurt you on purpose.

 

You need to break up with her now. What she did was cheated (right in front of you no less). And she has probably cheated on you before and she will probably do it again (and again and again). She's a tramp. Find a real woman.