How I got my 2nd chance

[CaliGuy]

CaliGuy I couldn't disagree with you more. Many relationships are ended NOT on the basis that the other partner doesn't love or respect you. Sure, if there was physical abuse, cheating, etc... but that isn't the case most of the time. Falling in and out of love is 100% a natural thing. Many young relationships end because one person falls out of love and doesn't know what to do with their feelings so they "end" it.

 

Many do, I agree. But many end because one person just doesn't feel the kind of love with that person they feel they should. In that case, how are you going to rekindle something that really was never there to begin with?

 

That is why I think the book gives a lot of false hope. Most if it is centered on men who took their S/O for granted and it reads that way.

 

I do agree starting fresh with someone new is healthy, but not always a permanent fix. First, you need to love yourself. Know that you are a great person and are one hell of a "catch" out there for anyone. When this happens things will fix themselves.

 

I agree. Loving yourself, respecting yourself and being confident is the key. It allows you to be you and will attract women who love you for who you are, not what you pretend to be.

 

And also, just because you are dumped doesn't mean you were taken for granted and treated like dirt. I was dumped and I don't feel like I was taken for granted or treated like dirt. Ex's are humans too, remember that. People make mistakes and just because your ex ended it and you didn't want that doesn't mean you were treated like dirt. If a relationship ends there is reason. If someone cheated, there is a reason they cheated. What was lacking? What was wrong? I feel that if you can find the answer to that by looking back on the turn of events you will learn to be a better lover and even love your ex.

 

I'm sorry but if someone cheats on me, no second chances. Period.

I do agree that if you are dumped that doesn't mean you were taken for granted or treated like dirt. I would blame that more on the dumpee than the dumper for putting up with it.

 

People can only do to you what you allow them to do. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

And one more thing. When my ex came back I also thought that I may never be able to trust her again, but I was wrong. The past two weeks have been great and I actually couldn't trust her more. Now, if something did happen to break my trust, it's comforting knowing that I wouldn't be nearly as hurt. I now feel that I have control. That if she cheats or leaves again that she's the one missing out on a great relationship, not me.

 

It's only been two weeks, my friend. Please give us an update 6-12 months from now. I am not saying that you're doomed, far from it. I am just saying that everything is new and fresh again. When time has settled things down I would be interested in hearing an update.

 

Cheers.