pricillia Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 Hi It has been 5 years plus since I have been single. Not liking it at all anymore. Does not look like MM can leave anytime soon, truly in love with him but know that the longer I stay in love the more alone I will be in a sense. Feel so disconnected to the love thing even though I have someone that I know that I am crazy about..... I do not want to loose the connection that I have with him but Ok... I will admit it I want someone in my life that I can be in a realationship with( not sharing him with another) what the heck does a girl have to do to get this ey? Link to post Share on other sites
TYASAFAHICSI Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 You need to resolve to ditch the MM in 2007. You already said he ain't leaving so why wait around! Women have an upper hand..just use it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author pricillia Posted December 30, 2006 Author Share Posted December 30, 2006 You need to resolve to ditch the MM in 2007. You already said he ain't leaving so why wait around! Women have an upper hand..just use it! oh is it really that easy? anyway feeling really teary eyed right now...oh full blown tears... why I am not sure.... just have to get over it... Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 Hi It has been 5 years plus since I have been single. Not liking it at all anymore. Does not look like MM can leave anytime soon, truly in love with him but know that the longer I stay in love the more alone I will be in a sense. Feel so disconnected to the love thing even though I have someone that I know that I am crazy about..... I do not want to loose the connection that I have with him but Ok... I will admit it I want someone in my life that I can be in a realationship with( not sharing him with another) what the heck does a girl have to do to get this ey? If you do want a real relationship, you must cut all ties with the MM before any real relationship occurs. I know its easier said than done, but its the only way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pricillia Posted December 30, 2006 Author Share Posted December 30, 2006 If you do want a real relationship, you must cut all ties with the MM before any real relationship occurs. I know its easier said than done, but its the only way. Yes I am trying...is it the only way..... what the heck I feel like I need a punching bag right now... Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 Yes I am trying...is it the only way..... what the heck I feel like I need a punching bag right now... I have a punching bag and it does come in handy sometimes........ You probably can't see it now, but it will make life a heck of alot easier if you walk away from the MM. You said so yourself that you don't like sharing, so I say that its time to concentrate on someone that you can have all to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pricillia Posted December 30, 2006 Author Share Posted December 30, 2006 I have a punching bag and it does come in handy sometimes........ You probably can't see it now, but it will make life a heck of alot easier if you walk away from the MM. You said so yourself that you don't like sharing, so I say that its time to concentrate on someone that you can have all to yourself. Yes, maybe.... but I can not stop thinking that I was meant to be with him. but then I think how stuipid am I to think that way.... knowing full well that I am going against things that I believe it.... ugh... Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 Yes, maybe.... but I can not stop thinking that I was meant to be with him. but then I think how stuipid am I to think that way.... knowing full well that I am going against things that I believe it.... ugh... If it was meant to be, than he would leave his wife, but he hasn't. No guy or gal is worth going against what you believe and value, IMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pricillia Posted December 30, 2006 Author Share Posted December 30, 2006 Funny people think that I am so adorable.... but then what the heck is the problem.... It is me then cause I don't put myself out there enough...... anyway.... I am not looking, have never looked.... but it would be nice Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 You are not "meant to be" with someone who is already married. You have FREE WILL, you have choices, you have options. You choose to be with this MM every day that you don't stop seeing him and choose something else for yourself. You have to make room for the good things in your life by saying NO to the bad things. I understand that your emotions are involved and it's hard, but sometimes in life we have to do the hard things. If you ever want to be with a man who is all about you and only you, you have to choose NOT to be with a man who is only partially about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 Funny people think that I am so adorable.... but then what the heck is the problem.... It is me then cause I don't put myself out there enough...... anyway.... I am not looking, have never looked.... but it would be nice I never recommend looking because it always happens when you least expect it, but for starters you should start off the new year with a clean slate and no MM in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pricillia Posted December 30, 2006 Author Share Posted December 30, 2006 You are not "meant to be" with someone who is already married. You have FREE WILL, you have choices, you have options. You choose to be with this MM every day that you don't stop seeing him and choose something else for yourself. You have to make room for the good things in your life by saying NO to the bad things. I understand that your emotions are involved and it's hard, but sometimes in life we have to do the hard things. If you ever want to be with a man who is all about you and only you, you have to choose NOT to be with a man who is only partially about you. Yes I know create a different picture for myself.... I am trying to do this, I have changed my number, I have seen him since though. He was so upset, he cried and told me he loved me so much. I gave him his present for Christmas and he said that what was important was me... not the present. I don't want to make this about a MM thing at all just saying I am tired of not being in a relationship.... Nora I know all that you are telling me I know! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 I know you know, but you asked what the heck a girl has to do to be in a relationship without having to share him with another. You have to get rid of the relationships that aren't that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pricillia Posted December 30, 2006 Author Share Posted December 30, 2006 I am just putting into writing or type so to speak what I am feeling.... Have not been lucky in love..... I mean there has to be something better than always waiting...... I guess I should stop thinking about it but still I am tired of it....and I don't want to settle (What you say she does not want to settle, isn't that what she has been doing?) not really there have been many bumps along the way..... Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 I do not want to loose the connection that I have with him but Ok... I will admit it I want someone in my life that I can be in a realationship with( not sharing him with another) what the heck does a girl have to do to get this? First of all you have to lose him because I doubt that any man worth having will want any kind of a relationship, except perhaps a merely sexual one, with a woman who's also seeing a married man. I certainly wouldn't! Link to post Share on other sites
Author pricillia Posted December 30, 2006 Author Share Posted December 30, 2006 First of all you have to lose him because I doubt that any man worth having will want any kind of a relationship, except perhaps a merely sexual one, with a woman who's also seeing a married man. I certainly wouldn't! I can understand your point... but at the same time I don't have a disease because I fell in love with a Married man... It seems that you have been patient with your wife, sounds like she has had some trust issues, I am trying not to let this make me bitter and still have a light inside me.... Loose him, yes.... I guess I am just tired of giving up the relationships that are important to me.... Link to post Share on other sites
shawn_68 Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 Loose him, yes.... I guess I am just tired of giving up the relationships that are important to me.... This is understandable. But what is the cost of hanging on to someone that will never be yours? Link to post Share on other sites
Ironman75 Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 Ok pricillia. You do what so many women do when it come to your own happiness. You put it aside to make others around you happy. But what you really need to ask yourself is WHEN IS TIME FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY. You have been given a lot of good advice then at the same time you say you know. Then you say your trying not to be bitter. But you are. You limit your chances by sitting around waiting for some thing you can't have. Let's say he leaves his wife and is with you all the time. And then you realize this is not all I thought it was. Becarful what you wish for because you might just get it. And keep in mind your the other woman. What makes your relationship so nice with him now is you get the good parts the one the wife does not. The secret meeting the flowers nice romantic stolen moment of intimacy. His sent on your pillow. Then he's off into the night. But where is he off to HIS WIFE. That is the reality of the whole situation. Your in love with an idea of what you want with this man not the man in front of you. Now you say you know what you want but ask yourself WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO DO TO GET IT. A man or woman will only do to us what we let them period. So by you being with him you say to him is I'm willing to play second fiddle so thats you and your wife can have a good life. I'm here when she makes you mad or better I'll just put my dreams and wants on hold while you go live yours. UNTIL you give him a choice he will continue to do the same to you but then you will really know where he stands and how much he loves you. And I'm not saying he doesn't love you but his actions say some thing different. Don't be scared of the truth for the truth will set you free. I have 8 sisters and I listen to all of there problem and I know. I'll tell you this LOVE YOURSELF, Because when you do that you start to see things that love makes you blind to. There is no need to ask anyone what to do. Don't just listen to his pretty words but look at his actions. They will tell you everything you need to know. And you already know what needs to be done. Now it's time to step up to the plate and get it done. I hope this help you some I know your hurting and it's a hard decision but I believe you can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pricillia Posted December 31, 2006 Author Share Posted December 31, 2006 Thanks Iron Man... I hear what you are saying, but I will tell you this I am not living in a fantasy and it has not been easy... you know so as far as the flower stuff ect. that is not the case, believe me I have taken all of this advice to heart here and I am not dismissing any of it.... Out of the 9 months that we have been together we have broken up 3 times.... I have not whole heartedly accepted this you know... Link to post Share on other sites
Ironman75 Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 But thats just it YOUR NOT TOGETHER. YOUR THE OTHER WOMEN. And if you are what's your defintion of being together sex and a few moments together here and there???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pricillia Posted December 31, 2006 Author Share Posted December 31, 2006 But thats just it YOUR NOT TOGETHER. YOUR THE OTHER WOMEN. And if you are what's your defintion of being together sex and a few moments together here and there???? Not sure if you know this but I think two weeks ago I changed my number... I am trying to move on, but I am also trying to take it step by step. Yes a few moments here and there, that is very frustrating.... that is what I am saying... I want more... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 what the heck does a girl have to do to get this ey? alpha may be interested if you're cute Link to post Share on other sites
Author pricillia Posted December 31, 2006 Author Share Posted December 31, 2006 alpha may be interested if you're cute adorable.... but there is more to a person than looks... Link to post Share on other sites
Ironman75 Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 pricillia I know what your saying and thats why I said that. So you can see whats real. Part of doing what your doing is admitting there is a problem. And you've done that. And thats something to be proud of. And your right step by step. Take your time it's the ONLY way. You need to keep your heart close to you right now. Don't put it out there to be step on. Heal yourself like only you can. It will be hard but believe in yourself and the dim lite you see now will be blinding when you clear the fog. So you can see what's real. Alot of times we don't really want advice because we know but we like to make sure were not crazy and alone in the struggle we call life. And some times we just want people to listen and understand. And I'm listing and I understand and feel your pain. So wrap your arms around yourself and start loving you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pricillia Posted December 31, 2006 Author Share Posted December 31, 2006 pricillia I know what your saying and thats why I said that. So you can see whats real. Part of doing what your doing is admitting there is a problem. And you've done that. And thats something to be proud of. And your right step by step. Take your time it's the ONLY way. You need to keep your heart close to you right now. Don't put it out there to be step on. Heal yourself like only you can. It will be hard but believe in yourself and the dim lite you see now will be blinding when you clear the fog. So you can see what's real. Alot of times we don't really want advice because we know but we like to make sure were not crazy and alone in the struggle we call life. And some times we just want people to listen and understand. And I'm listing and I understand and feel your pain. So wrap your arms around yourself and start loving you. This is why I am getting this out of my head and into words so to speak Link to post Share on other sites
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