Cheater?

[Guest]

A little over a month ago, I finally agreed to go on a date with a good guy friend of mine (he had been asking me for several months). Although I didn't have great expectations for our date, "Tom" and I really hit it off, and there appears to be really good chemistry between us. Since that first date, we've talked or seen each other every day. Even though I'm 23 and he's 26, I feel like I'm in high school when I'm with him. He has been sweet and caring with me, and respectful of my decision to remain a virgin.

 

That being said, Tom has a very jealous and vindictive ex-girlfriend, "Jen". About two weeks ago, Jen saw us together, and went nuts. She has been known to lie, so when she screamed at me that she and Tom had sex the weekend before, I didn't think she was telling the truth. Well, unfortunately, it was true, and Tom admitted to it after we were away from Jen. Tom dated Jen for 5 years, and had lived with her for 2 years before breaking up with her. He had told me repeatedly how much he was thankful to be out of that relationship, and how much he despised his ex, which I believed.

 

After this incident, I initially thought that Tom and I should cool it for a bit. I don't like drama, and I didn't want to willingly enter a situation that was obviously not over. He, however, was extremely apologetic, honest, and told me that he never wanted to see or talk to Jen again - that it was completely over. Maybe it is my naivety, but I decided to continue seeing him. My motto is that we all make mistakes and no one is perfect. Obviously, if I found out that he hooked up with Jen again, I would boot him from my life in a second. Do you think that it was a mistake for me to agree to continue this relationship? Or am I asking for more drama? I don't feel like I'll forget this very easily, and I don't want to be the girl that pulls this mistake out during a fight and uses it to hurt him. Any advice is appreciated!

[Ironman75]

Well you seem to be wise beyond your years. Your right everyone does make mistakes. And if you guys are just friends then how was it cheating. Yes I understand that you both have a close friendship. But if your not really together and your not having sex then you should be able to forgive him easily. But at the same time see whats there not what you want in the future but right now. I would give him time to heal from the relationship he just got out of. Even though he may say he ready he's not. If you don't listen to anything I say listen to that. In a relationship that long he will come with baggage. And ex that you already said admitted she was still sleeping with him and she will continue if he's weak. And they were together for a while so there will be drama for sure. Especially with a break up that just happened this soon. TRUST ME. Also if you do anything that remind him of his ex now he views you as the ex. Not good. Also being a virgin be careful if you've already waited this long don't give it to someone that could possibly use you as a rebound. Thats some thing to be proud of so cherish it. So still be friends and just stay that way for a while and see if things stay the same. You know he keeps treating you the way you expect and not going back to the ex for sex then give it a try. But really watch him. So for now no relationship just stay friends. I hope this will help a little. And good luck.