a4a Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I don't give her crap but she doesn't give me crap either. I am not one of these wimpy men that lets their wife walk them around on a leash. Maybe your wife does not control you....... but your mother still is. And taking another persons feelings into consideration is not being put on a leash. That is a choice you make to think " I care about this person in my life, and I don't want to hurt them". Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Woogle: " I don't give her crap but she doesn't give me crap either. I am not one of these wimpy men that lets their wife walk them around on a leash." It's this very statement that exemplifies the real core of your problems, Woggle. It shows that you are struggling for dominance -and respect- in a relationship but are having enormous trouble in acheiving it. But this is where you should begin. It's not about whether or not you are capable of dealing with it and overcoming it (I believe you can) -but rather *facing* what the real problem is with you -and what steps to take to recover from it. -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I don't want to dominate her but I wioll be damned if I let her dominate me. She does not try to but if she does it is over. That is why i had her sign a prenup. I have an easy out if this marriage goes sour. Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I will do the same things I did before I married her. Yes but thats a point you cant because the whole point of being in a relationship is to make you both happy.Your not single anymore.I agree there should be time apart to spend times with friends without your wife being there but you are not single anymore and you cant always act selfishly as there is your wife to consider. If your wife was upset by you going to see these strippers would you talk to her and consider her feelings in the matter?Or simply just dismiss her feelings as its something you have always done are will always do it? Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Woggle: " I don't want to dominate her but I wioll be damned if I let her dominate me." You want to live under the freedom of your *own* rules -I understand that. Woggle: " ..i had her sign a prenup. I have an easy out if this marriage goes sour." Shows you are operating on fear: if you can't meet your goal, you "win" the consolation prize of maintaining/keeping what you believe is your "dignity". -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 I don't want to dominate her but I wioll be damned if I let her dominate me. She does not try to but if she does it is over. That is why i had her sign a prenup. I have an easy out if this marriage goes sour. ehh...... this is not about your wife this is about you. You are not free, you will continue to live in the emotional prison your mother built for you until you decide to step out of it. You will continue to feel the need to fear women until you own your fears. I have to say I feel sorry for your wife at this point. I don't think she knows who she married. What if she found out? What if she found out what you really think and how you feel? Anywho back to strip clubs and old men......... Link to post Share on other sites
riobikini Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 In addition: Woggle: " I don't want to dominate her but I will be damned if I let her dominate me." " This statement let's me see that -where your wife is concerned (and maybe, simply women)- you perceive any compromise as a defeat to your wished-for (and heretofor, unacheived) total, unquestionable male "dominance". -Rio Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 The strippers know what the deal is so it is a good fantasy. I get to feel like I am controlling a woman without actually hurting her. All I am saying is that if a man feels like having fun with the guys it is none of her business. This is the problem with men today. We feel that we should stop doing everything because it botthers our wives. I will do the same things I did before I married her. Well if the way a man has fun with the guys is by having a naked stranger rub all over him then he needs to be single. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Well if the way a man has fun with the guys is by having a naked stranger rub all over him then he needs to be single. Hello Rain , my we meet again. Actually , in the op's sitch , If it made me uncomfortable and my so was unwilling to compromise it would be an end game . Actually though , suprisingly enough , my H has never been in a strip club. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted January 27, 2007 Share Posted January 27, 2007 Hello Rain , my we meet again. Actually , in the op's sitch , If it made me uncomfortable and my so was unwilling to compromise it would be an end game . Actually though , suprisingly enough , my H has never been in a strip club. Wow I actually agree with you on that. Partners either need to agree on the strip club issue or I don't see how a relationship can work. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Wow I actually agree with you on that. Partners either need to agree on the strip club issue or I don't see how a relationship can work. Well it seems all the women are opposed to letting their men go to strip clubs and see other women naked. Gee... so on "guys night out" what are the guys supposed to do? Something they don't enjoy doing? And just what are women going to be doing on "girls night out"? If your H doesn't want you going with the girls to the club, knowing you'll be drinking, getting hit on, dancing with other guys... does your H have a right to keep you home? (I'll bet most of the women will say the H doesn't have the right to be that "controlling".) Suppose your husband objects to your going to the feminazi meeting? Or he doesn't want you going to church, because church is interfering in your relationship? Does he get to veto those activities? Or is it just women that get to veto their man's activities? If a woman insists on going to the feminazi meeting is she going to be upset when her H or BF tells her that is a deal breaker, just like his going to a strip club would be? Women think they should get to tell their men what they can't do, yet if a man did the same thing, with things that bothered him just as much, the women would feel his "controlling" them was entirely unjustified. How far does this "love and concern" for one's partners happiness go? If a guy is expected to accept his wife's "girls night outs" - with no questions asked, then surely the wife has to accept her husband's "gus night out" with the same no questions asked. And for the record, if my wife was dancing with other men behind my back I'd consider it cheating and divorce her. I think the point Woggle would make is that if his wife could veto his activities because she objected for any reason, he'd have the same right to veto her activities regardless of his objection. Link to post Share on other sites
hunnybuns Posted February 6, 2007 Share Posted February 6, 2007 you need to got to the strippers with him then come home and reap the benefits. That is what I have to do!!! Works....I dont mind looking at girls. he was kind of weird with it at first but it worked. I am not into girls sexually but hey they have the same things I do....so it didn't bother me. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 you need to got to the strippers with him then come home and reap the benefits. That is what I have to do!!! Works....I dont mind looking at girls. he was kind of weird with it at first but it worked. I am not into girls sexually but hey they have the same things I do....so it didn't bother me. I would never want my man to even touch me if I knew he was thinking about a stipper. I deserve better then that. He could go have his stippers and I would find someone better if he feels that kind of behavior is ok. Link to post Share on other sites
rainfall Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 Well it seems all the women are opposed to letting their men go to strip clubs and see other women naked. Gee... so on "guys night out" what are the guys supposed to do? Something they don't enjoy doing? And just what are women going to be doing on "girls night out"? If your H doesn't want you going with the girls to the club, knowing you'll be drinking, getting hit on, dancing with other guys... does your H have a right to keep you home? (I'll bet most of the women will say the H doesn't have the right to be that "controlling".) Suppose your husband objects to your going to the feminazi meeting? Or he doesn't want you going to church, because church is interfering in your relationship? Does he get to veto those activities? Or is it just women that get to veto their man's activities? If a woman insists on going to the feminazi meeting is she going to be upset when her H or BF tells her that is a deal breaker, just like his going to a strip club would be? Women think they should get to tell their men what they can't do, yet if a man did the same thing, with things that bothered him just as much, the women would feel his "controlling" them was entirely unjustified. How far does this "love and concern" for one's partners happiness go? If a guy is expected to accept his wife's "girls night outs" - with no questions asked, then surely the wife has to accept her husband's "gus night out" with the same no questions asked. And for the record, if my wife was dancing with other men behind my back I'd consider it cheating and divorce her. I think the point Woggle would make is that if his wife could veto his activities because she objected for any reason, he'd have the same right to veto her activities regardless of his objection. Ok if the only thing my man enjoys is having a stranger rub his crotch then he can be single. Yes if my man has a problem with me going out and getting trashed with my friends he has a right to tell me so. I would understand why he would have a problem with it. When it comes to cheating on me I have every right to tell him what he can and can not do. If that makes me a controlling b then I am VERY proud to be one. I know what I will and will not accept and if he has a problem with that he can get out. I do not have a problem with him hanging out with his friends. The only thing I "veto" is naked chicks touching him. If he wants that in his life then he can be single or find someone who tolerates that kind of behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
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