Weeding Out Creeps for Online Dating?

[freckles73]

As a taller woman I prefer to date tall men over 6', which I clearly state in my profile. And yet, I kept getting emails from men who were mostly shorter than me. WTF? Do men even bother to read the profiles?

[Tormented]

Hey guys...after my breakup of 5 months ago, I've decided it's time to get back on the saddle and date again. The problem? I live in a small mountain community and the "single" pool here isn't exactly plentiful. Seems like everybody up here is married, and those that are single...well, let's just say they're single for a reason! So, although I'm ready to date again, there's nobody here that I find interesting or that I'd want to date.

 

A friend of mine at work suggested that I try a few dating sites. She said to stay away from "free" sites, warning that I'd meet up with a lot of nutjobs and players on sites like this. She said I'd have better luck meeting quality men on "paying" sites...such as eHarmony or Match.com.

 

Now, I've never tried to meet potential mates on a dating site, this would be my first time IF I decide to take this route. Ha! I always felt that dating sites were for desperate people. And now, here I am, actually contemplating this!

 

So, for you experts here...my question is:

 

What was the MAIN problem you ran into on these sites. Any success stories or are they a complete waste of time and money?

 

The whole idea of it makes me nervous!

 

~T~

[magda]

I used to weed out anybody that talked about having sex before meeting, or a good many conversations and phone calls. It pretty much worked for me, as far as avoiding the perves.

[SmoochieFace]

As a taller woman I prefer to date tall men over 6', which I clearly state in my profile. And yet, I kept getting emails from men who were mostly shorter than me. WTF? Do men even bother to read the profiles?

 

Those guys obviously think that height isn't important as in it doesn't make a relationship. Smart men they must be.

[Mary3]

I am really on the fence about online dating. I think if you are careful and smart about what you are looking for, it can be a great way to get to know someone in a relaxed and private setting. After my divorce 3 years, I found myself in a situation where I had not dated in many years. The online sites were a great way to "get out there". I am considering trying them again when I get over my breakup with my fiance. Although a little more cautious. Here is what I experienced last time on Match.

 

*Several girls who seem to just enjoy emailing guys. Some of them are still on there. Maybe they are in a contest to see how many guys emails they can get in 5 years.

Trust me there are a busload of MEN doing the exact same thing. Why ? Because they are married ( very likely ) or they are very fugly ( likely ) or they are social misfits who will NEVER really meet you and plan to keep it " Online " ugh..

*A girl who claimed to be a pediatric nurse, so I told her what I did. I am in regional sales and deal with specific type business owners. After a couple of emails, I realized she was not what I wanted to meet. After that, she printed my profile and took into one of my customers near her, to "check" up on me. Apparently she didn't make a favorable impression on them as they still tease me.

This is why you NEVER give your business address to anyone online.

 

*My ex fiance, who had a profile without a pic and claimed to live in the same suburb as me. We swapped emails, quickly started IMs. She was hesitant to give her phone as she was freshly seperated with a 12 year old. She did call me a few times, but if I ever tried back, her cell was off. After meeting a couple of times and many, many IMs. I fell for her hard. She then told me that she didn't in fact live in my town but about 30 miles away. And that her husband still lived with her, but in the basement, no sex in 2 years, blah, blah....I hung around and casually dated while she took care of her business. Let a couple of good ones pass by..Relationship did end up lasting 2.5 years but the early lies crumbled it. And yes, I would catch her with a pictureless profile back up from time to time.

 

Profile without a pic , I don't even bother. Continued Pictureless Profile ? Someone is up to something unless they really have no way to get a pic on the site.

 

*A girl, we swapped several, long emails, tons of things in common and had a 4.5 hour phone call, we agreed to meet. She then went into her rules. She meets all her dates at the same Applebees because the staff knows she is on match. Ok, I can live with that. We get there, and it is so structured that I quickly lose any sparks I had. She asks the waiter to hold a drink until she returns from the bathroom because she is afraid I will spike it. Her brother and wife, coincidentally, drop in. She tells me it is 10.1 miles between our houses and also tells me where my parents live. Yet, she won't give me her last name. I understand caution, but this is ridiculous. She then sends mixed signals about going elsewhere. She had told me she never leaves at the same time, but this time we did walk out together. She sends an email the next day, thanking me, admits is on the fence, but would consider another date. Then starts listing the rules for that one. Never mind......

 

I would have told her MY rule " Never date a pain in the Arse " lol

 

*And a few girls who were everything they said they were, believe it or not. Met a couple of girls who I am still friends with. In fact going out as friends tonight.

 

I am thinking of going that route again, just a little smarter.

 

 

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13th January 2007, 10:17 AM #51

freckles73

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Join Date: Nov 2006

Posts: 78 As a taller woman I prefer to date tall men over 6', which I clearly state in my profile. And yet, I kept getting emails from men who were mostly shorter than me. WTF? Do men even bother to read the profiles?

 

Thats the problem MANY never bother to read the entire profile.

 

 

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13th January 2007, 6:38 PM #52

Tormented

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Join Date: Aug 2006

Location: California, USA

Posts: 257 Hey guys...after my breakup of 5 months ago, I've decided it's time to get back on the saddle and date again. The problem? I live in a small mountain community and the "single" pool here isn't exactly plentiful. Seems like everybody up here is married, and those that are single...well, let's just say they're single for a reason! So, although I'm ready to date again, there's nobody here that I find interesting or that I'd want to date.

 

A friend of mine at work suggested that I try a few dating sites. She said to stay away from "free" sites, warning that I'd meet up with a lot of nutjobs and players on sites like this. She said I'd have better luck meeting quality men on "paying" sites...such as eHarmony or Match.com.

 

E Harmony is very expensive . Like $ 50 a month and you never get a pic until the end. Just because on paper someone is EVERYTHING right for you does not mean they will be in real life..

 

Now, I've never tried to meet potential mates on a dating site, this would be my first time IF I decide to take this route. Ha! I always felt that dating sites were for desperate people. And now, here I am, actually contemplating this!

 

If you must Match.com is a better choice. BUt when it comes down to it a vast majority of these sites are filled with pervs and rejects.

 

So, for you experts here...my question is:

 

What was the MAIN problem you ran into on these sites. Any success stories or are they a complete waste of time and money?

 

Um ....well lets see. Numerous * pictures * did not look like the men they proported to be . Numerous men * forgot * to tell me they were married. Numerous men were dirt poor , living with their brother sleeping on the couch

 

The whole idea of it makes me nervous!

 

~T~

 

As well it should,. The dating companies are making big bucks. They have no vested interest if you end up with Psycho Jack the Ripper ...

Tormented

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13th January 2007, 7:39 PM #53

magda

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Join Date: Mar 2004

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Posts: 1,327 I used to weed out anybody that talked about having sex before meeting, or a good many conversations and phone calls. It pretty much worked for me, as far as avoiding the perves.

 

Exacta~mundo ! That would be 99.9 percent of the men who figured out a better way to Masterbation...

 

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[Green]

very strange post I didnt know where u were going at the end there

[Topper]

Freckels, On one hand you say you were offended by a guy who thought you to large for his taste in woman. Then You get offended by guys who dare email you who happen shorter then you would like. Kind of the pot calling the kettle black I would say. I am only 5'8" and have dated a lot of woman taller then me My male ego is very sucure.

I have used on line dating sites off and on over the years. Some good results some not so good. It is hard to meet people the older you get. I don't do bars of clubs. My work is not in a large office so not a lot of opprtunity there.

 

There are horror stories on both sides. I have met woman who post pics that were at least 10 years old. Other who were claiming 40 something but really closer to 60. Some claim to love to ski or sail and then when it comes down to it. The only hobby or sport they enjoy is shopping. Some gold digger and some control freaks. I have had one steal pain killers from me after my accident. Other with wierd eating disorders. Some just want to date a guy to bust his balls because 10 years later she isn't over her ex husband!

On the other hand I have met some really wonderful woman. Some that i dated and others there just wasn't any spark so we both move on. Remember one woman's jerk might be another's soul mate.

[Mary3]

Freckels, On one hand you say you were offended by a guy who thought you to large for his taste in woman. Then You get offended by guys who dare email you who happen shorter then you would like. Kind of the pot calling the kettle black I would say. I am only 5'8" and have dated a lot of woman taller then me My male ego is very sucure.

I have used on line dating sites off and on over the years. Some good results some not so good. It is hard to meet people the older you get. I don't do bars of clubs. My work is not in a large office so not a lot of opprtunity there.

 

There are horror stories on both sides. I have met woman who post pics that were at least 10 years old. Other who were claiming 40 something but really closer to 60. Some claim to love to ski or sail and then when it comes down to it. The only hobby or sport they enjoy is shopping. Some gold digger and some control freaks. I have had one steal pain killers from me after my accident. Other with wierd eating disorders. Some just want to date a guy to bust his balls because 10 years later she isn't over her ex husband!

On the other hand I have met some really wonderful woman. Some that i dated and others there just wasn't any spark so we both move on. Remember one woman's jerk might be another's soul mate.

 

Wonderful Post ! And ohhh so true !