What does he want?

[Limpan]

Me and boyfriend had been dating for about 10 months when he decided to break up with me. The first four months of our relationship worked out as a dance on roses (of course) and we were very much in love. After our first four months together I had to leave the country for 3 months to go back home to Sweden to work for the summer.

 

I'm a foreign student and have to go home and work in the summer to be able to afford school. When I was back home I missed him dearly and tried to talk to him over the phone, send emails, and text messages, as often as possible. All of this was mutual, and we dreamt about seeing each other again in August. When the day came around for me to go back to the U.S I was so excited. I hadn't seen him in 3 months and couldn't wait to hold around him again.

 

When I got back I didn't see him for a week because he was working out of state, but a couple of weeks later the fall semester started and both of us were back in school. He graduated 1.5 years ago, but chose to go back to school to take some grad classes.

 

We started arguing a lot and it was mainly because he never seemed to have any time to spend with me. He was a fulltime student and had a part time job on the side. When he did have time off he chose to go hunting with his guy friends or simply hang at their house and play videogames. Something he never used to do before the summer.

 

I realized that he had been working very hard during the summer, and since he had been gone a lot he hadn't had much time to hang out with his friends. I tried to give him space, but it was also hard since my own exspectations were very high. I thought that he had missed me as much as I had missed him while I was gone, and now it felt like he just wanted to spend time with other people. I confronted him about this several times, and it always ended in tears from my side, since I couldn't understand why he didn't wnat to spend quality time with me.

 

When I told him this he always said that we spent every day together since we had class together and spent the night together. And that's true we did see each other every day, but that wasn't quality time for me. I wanted to get out of the house and do things to make our bonding stronger. I now realize I made a huge mistake.

 

This started to become a serious issue, and the more I tried to tell him that I needed at least some time with him, the more he spent time on his own. e even stopped spending every night together like we had been doing for the last six months. He stopped telling me he loved me and he often ended up saying "I'll call you later" just to find out that he never did. This happened on a regular basis.

 

Four months later he ended our relationship. He said that our relationship made him feel like **** and that he couldn't do anything anymore, although we hadn't really spent any time together during the four months I had been back. He dumped me right before my birthday and I felt like absolute crap. Four days later it was Thanksgiving and we had been planning to celebrate it together for a long time so we did.

 

He was being very kind and loving although we were hanging out at his best friend's house, and he repediately called me "honey". We had a great day together and we ended up going to a movie later that night. After the movie he drove me home and asked if he could spend the night at my house. Of course I said "yes." The next day it seemed like he didn't really wanted to hang out but we ended up going out together with his two friends. We didn't spend the night together this night, because we ended up arguing, but the next day I spent the night at his house.

 

My birthday came up and he made me dinner. He had asked for months what I wanted for my birthday, but for some reason he hadn't bought me anything. I didn't really care since the best present I could get was to be with him. The next day we went downtown to meet up with his sister and some friends. He was being really weird, and seemed to be frustrated with me although nothing had really happened.

 

When he drove me home that night I told that I couldn't do this anymore and that I felt like I'd lost him. He told me to leave the car and he left. The next day he wrote me a message on myspace telling me that he figured I should be on my own from now on. I was very mad and frustrated and wrote him a long email telling him what I thought about things. Of couse I did regret it afterwards...

 

I called him the next day, and he ended the conversation yelling and hanging up on me. A friend of ours had a house warming party that night and he told me he didn't want me to be there. I went to the party anyway with two of my friends and wasn't planning on staying long since I knew he didn't want me to be there. When he showed up, he didn't even say "hi" to me. I was really hurt.

 

I didn't speak to him after that for about 3 days. He texted me a couple of times and I ended up calling him. It always ended up with me crying, he yelling and hanging up. Two days later we ended up having a couple of drinks downtown just as friends. He offered to drie me home that night and when we got to my house he kissed me and asked me if I wanted him to spend the night. He did and we ended up having sex, just like the last time. Two weeks ago we had dinner, and the next day he came over to my house late to spend the night.

 

He says that all he wants is sex, but I don't know. Two days later we once again had dinner, a really expensive one and we both seemed to really enjoy ourselves. He went back to myhouse with me and we once again ended up having sex. The next day I was downtown with a couple of friends and he came down tohave a couple of drinks with us. He was paying attention to me all night and later he asked me if I wanted to spend the night at his house. I did, and we had sex. Two days later I was gonna go to Canada to go skiing and I really wanted to see him before I left. When I asked him in a text if he wanted to see me, he replied "not tonight".

 

It made me sad, and since he was gonna be gone when I got back in town, I felt really scared. He told me to relax, and that it wasn't a big deal since I would see him again in two weeks. I left for Canada and a couple of hours later he started texting me. I replied short and polite and never took the initiative to start a conversation. The next day when we got back from skiing, I had two messages from him on myspace.

 

He thanked me for the christmas present (yes, I did buy him christmas gift...), and said that we should have dinner and drink some wine when he got back. I was so happy over those two messages, but didn't reply. The next day I wrote a text saying "I miss you" and he replied imidietly "I miss you too". The week I was in Canada he sent me several texts and messages on myspace, but then he suddenly stopped.

 

I got back from Canada on Saturday ans still hadn't heard anything. Sunday morning I texted him too se what was up and to wish him a Happy New Year. I also made the bog mistake to ask him if he had met someone in his hometown since he suddenly stopped contacting me. At first he wrote " it doesn't matter", and then "no". I called him and he didn't pick up. He said he was busy and that we would talk later.

 

I saw he was on myspace several times that day, so I called him back a couple of hours later. He still didn't pick up the phone. I wrote him a text that it made me really sad that he wouldn't pick up the phone on New Years eve, and he said he didn't want to talk to me cause he knew what ot would be all about. A couple of hours later he actually called just to tell me he didn't have time to talk since he was on his way to a bar.

 

I asked him if he still ment everything he had written to me during the previous week, and he started yelling at me and telling me he didn't have time to talk and that just because he didn't want to talk to me now, doesn't necessarily mean anything. He wished me a Happy New Year and hung up. That's the last I heard from him.

 

He's coming back into town on Thursday and I'm really sad and confused. It seems like every time I tell myself not to contact him, he ends up contacting me. I know I need to leave him alone, but it's so hard. Any man in here that can tell me what this guy has on his mind? I want him back so bad, but I don't know what to do anymore.