What Do You Make Of This?

[oyster]

And: Single Guys are also famous for: games, lying and bullsh*t...maybe it's a male thing...

 

That is why they are still single haha:p

[GreenEyedLady]

That is why they are still single haha:p

 

:lmao: Excellent point...

[Romeo Must Die]

I guess it all depends on the type of SG you are looking for. If you want to go looking for a bad boy, you'll surely find one.

 

Its only in her best interest to start a new relationship with dating a SG than going for the questionable MM/sMM, especially after her last break-up with MM. I think it would be a mistake for FN to get involved with any MM/sMM, including this one. I think she can do alot better and she doesnt need the baggage from another sMM's CURRENT relationship (even one that is on the way out) after everything she has been through already.

 

Again, she would have a much better chance at a happy life with someone (single) who could offer her so much more than a MM/sMM ever could. Thats all. I just dont want to see her get buried alive in the avalanche of bullsh*it from a MM. It'll do no good for her to go through this again and after reading this thread I don't think you are giving her good advice at all. You're all like, "Hey FN go for it! Toot Toot!!!"

 

What if he is not seperated, divorced or otherwise? Why should she take his word at face value? Because he is cute? Because he is charming? Because he is a pilot? Dont you think he might possibly have a GF in every city and a wifey at home? Sounds pretty convinient to me. For him that is.

 

You dont hear a warning shot? Does the word "married" give you any bad vibes at all this guy is a loser?

 

Her first impression of him should be her last.

 

[bonehead]

Step with caution. For multiple reasons.

[GreenEyedLady]

I guess it all depends on the type of SG you are looking for. If you want to go looking for a bad boy, you'll surely find one.

 

Its only in her best interest to start a new relationship with dating a SG than going for the questionable MM/sMM, especially after her last break-up with MM. I think it would be a mistake for FN to get involved with any MM/sMM, including this one. I think she can do alot better and she doesnt need the baggage from another sMM's CURRENT relationship (even one that is on the way out) after everything she has been through already.

 

Again, she would have a much better chance at a happy life with someone (single) who could offer her so much more than a MM/sMM ever could. Thats all. I just dont want to see her get buried alive in the avalanche of bullsh*it from a MM. It'll do no good for her to go through this again and after reading this thread I don't think you are giving her good advice at all. You're all like, "Hey FN go for it! Toot Toot!!!"

 

What if he is not seperated, divorced or otherwise? Why should she take his word at face value? Because he is cute? Because he is charming? Because he is a pilot? Dont you think he might possibly have a GF in every city and a wifey at home? Sounds pretty convinient to me. For him that is.

 

You dont hear a warning shot? Does the word "married" give you any bad vibes at all this guy is a loser?

 

Her first impression of him should be her last.

 

 

I think that you missed my point...but you have been married forever, so you don't know what it's like to be single...I was not in any way, shape or form suggesting to date another MM...People who have been married a long time have no idea what the dating scene is like...if it were simply a matter of finding a single guy, don't you think everyone here would have already done that?

[bonehead]

What if he is not seperated, divorced or otherwise? Why should she take his word at face value? Because he is cute? Because he is charming? Because he is a pilot? Dont you think he might possibly have a GF in every city and a wifey at home? Sounds pretty convinient to me. For him that is.

 

This is a possibility in ANY new relationship. SO when do you start to date? When it becomes law the if your married its tattooed on your forehead?

 

I think she should proceed with caution. But dont right him off because he MAY be married. Any man you meet over the age of 17 MAY be married.

 

He admitted when she asked when they first met. He did not contact her iuntil he said he had filed. Thats public record. Easy enough to check.

[Romeo Must Die]

Do you think Romeo was married when we dated? Of course not. I'm not getting involved in active OW/MM relationships on this board unless its general advice, as woman to woman. But FN is no longer an OW unless she chooses to be an OW again.

 

I want FN to take a chance at a relationship that gives her freedom and a chance to grow with her sweetheart like I had, someone that can be with her 24/7 instead of starting a pattern of dating MM who can only offer isolation (and ultimate rejection) like she had suffered with her last MM. One that doesnt have another player involved. It's a high risk investment for someone who has already lost so much and now that it's over, I would like to see her end up with a guy who is only in love with her and commited to nobody else BUT her. She deserves no less than that.

 

I think she should be flattered at a cute, professional guy is interested in her, but consider this cute pilot as two ships passing in the night.

 

[cbl]

This is a possibility in ANY new relationship. SO when do you start to date? When it becomes law the if your married its tattooed on your forehead?

 

I think she should proceed with caution. But dont right him off because he MAY be married. Any man you meet over the age of 17 MAY be married.

 

He admitted when she asked when they first met. He did not contact her iuntil he said he had filed. Thats public record. Easy enough to check.

 

 

Exactly. Proceed with caution... enough said. Freedom Now deserves a chance to get back to the dating scene and feel being loved again, by someone she feels attracted to. It has to start somewhere. If not now, then when?

 

Yes everyone has heard enough stories about pilots having girl friends here and there (and I am one of them) But this doesn't mean people working in the office all day won't be having girl friends. Chances are it tends to be short-term affairs for pilots due to their schedule and route change. I would be more interested in why he got a divorce than whether he has gf everywhere. One of my MM's pilot friend got divorced because his wife had an affair and he caught them in bed.... what I am trying to point out is that it's about individual and let's not generalize the situation here and jump into conclusions based on the stereotype.

 

I want to feel happy for Freedom Now if she finds true love this time. Not to stop her from finding one.

[cbl]

4 days free out of a week seems pretty good to me. he's able to share the job of sending kids to school and picking them up, grocery shopping, house chaos, gardening, and cook a nice dinner waiting for the W/gf to come back home!

 

"when a man loves a woman"... oh how much i love andy garcia in that movie...

 

it's too early to say anything. but even if it doesn't work out in the future, things will be a lot easier to handle than most cases.... they are not professionally related, and they are literally 2000 miles apart. IMHO.

[bonehead]

someone that can be with her 24/7 instead of starting a pattern of dating MM who can only offer isolation (and ultimate rejection) like she had suffered with her last MM.

 

When he said he was married she walked away. With the fact he did admit that he was married at that point I agree that it should be a flag, but not a red one yet.

 

If she is interested she can check and see if he did in fact file.

 

The part about being with her 24/7. Not everyone can do that. My job takes me away from home 24 hours at a time. Does that mean I can not offer a woman a great relationship? Never mind that it gives me 20 free days a month

[bonehead]

4 days free out of a week seems pretty good to me. he's able to share the job of sending kids to school and picking them up, grocery shopping, house chaos, gardening, and cook a nice dinner waiting for the W/gf to come back home!

 

"when a man loves a woman"... oh how much i love andy garcia in that movie...

 

it's too early to say anything. but even if it doesn't work out in the future, things will be a lot easier to handle than most cases.... they are not professionally related, and they are literally 2000 miles apart. IMHO.

 

thats one thing I LOVE about my hours. All the free time I have. My involvement with my kids and their school activites would put a supermom to shame. I havent missed a field trip in 4 years.

[cbl]

When he said he was married she walked away. With the fact he did admit that he was married at that point I agree that it should be a flag, but not a red one yet.

 

If she is interested she can check and see if he did in fact file.

 

I take it as that a stranger who I just met wouldn't want to bother me with all the details of his having troubles with marriage and what he is going through with his wife, but honest enough to tell people his marriage status. It would seem to be odd if he told me he's separated and filing a divorce and that's why he's looking for friends at first meeting.

 

thats one thing I LOVE about my hours. All the free time I have. My involvement with my kids and their school activites would put a supermom to shame. I havent missed a field trip in 4 years.

 

Superdad... I like that

[frannie]

Five months ago, I was at an airport getting ready to fly back to my home after visiting family. I was tired, getting the flu, and ready to get back home and into my bed.

 

A man kept staring at me and finally approached me. He was a pilot and helped show me around the area as I was looking for some touristy stuff for my kids. He was very charming and kind and most attentive. He complimented me on my looks and personality and eventually asked if he could call me.

 

I gave him my business card. After I handed it to him, alarms went off in my head so I asked if he was married. He admitted that he was. I asked no further details as I got all the information I needed.

 

I thanked him for his honesty but told him that I am not interested in dating a married man and to only call me if he ever found himself free.

 

With that, I walked away and went to my gate. He caught up with me and told me to have a great flight.

 

I don't know what it is, but something sounds a bit off here. First thing is obviously to wonder if what he says is true about having filed for divorce. Second thing is, even if he's filed, or separated or whatever the situation is, he's still not divorced, and being involved with a separated man is a risky business all in itself.

 

Third thing is... his character. I'm not saying it's a BAD thing, but a 'charming' man who goes around chatting up women in airports and asking for their phone numbers just makes me scared. And the way he ran after you to wish you a good flight makes me feel yukky... Just me, but I don't like that at all. I'm not into grand gestures.

 

If it were me... yes, I'd be interested to find out more... Who Wouldn't??

 

But let's look at the likely outcome of this: you get to date a recently-separated (best-case scenario!) man who is a pilot and enjoys chatting up women... is it a good bet for a steady relationship..? Not in my mind. I would tend to spare myself the potential heartache, but it depends what you're looking for!

[Freedom Now]

You have all given me food for thought.

 

Everything postive and negative brought up here has been running through my mind, too.

 

I think I will hold out calling him.

 

No hurry here. I am dating other men right now, too.

 

And, although I am flattered, he IS still technically married. And I don't want to get into a mess again, that is for darned sure.

[bonehead]

You have all given me food for thought.

 

Everything postive and negative brought up here has been running through my mind, too.

 

I think I will hold out calling him.

 

No hurry here. I am dating other men right now, too.

 

And, although I am flattered, he IS still technically married. And I don't want to get into a mess again, that is for darned sure.

 

You mean no blinders on??

 

Why rush?? Your still young, plenty of others out there is you do not want to pursue this one.

[Freedom Now]

After doing some thinking this morning and afternoon, I have decided to pass on calling the pilot.

 

Too many flags here and he has too much baggage for my comfort. I am interested in meeting someone who is AVAILABLE to date me, and this guy aint it.

 

When the time is right for a man to enter into my life, it will happen. I just don't think this guy is the one for me.

 

I am just not that interested in him to pursue this further.

 

Thanks, guys.

 

[GreenEyedLady]

Well, good for you FN! Any man would be lucky to have you! You can take your pick...

[Romeo Must Die]

Well, good for you FN! Any man would be lucky to have you! You can take your pick...

 

but make him WORK for it. Don't ever act desperate or needy out of fear of being alone. Never settle for anything less than what you want in life. The right guy is out there and when that time comes, you will know it. This is the one.

 

I waited two years before I found Romeo. It happened when I wasn't looking. I went into work one day when I was normally off (Sunday) and met him by complete chance. We just started talking casually and later, he walked me out to my car and we ended up exchanging numbers at the end of the day. Two weeks after that, we went on our first date. I knew he was the man I wanted to be with when he kissed me, everything just clicked into place.

 

[outofdarkness]

FN, Did you ever truely question the validity of his statements that he is actually seperated/divorcing? Even if he is, do you really want to get involved in it? To me, that sounds like a MM line to me if I ever heard one.

 

How many times do you think he has had an encounter like this one? In his profession, I'm sure it is pretty often. All I'm saying is please THINK before you fly head first into your next heartbreak FN. You're such a sweet kid. You should focus on SG's. No more games. No more lying. No more bullsh*it.

 

Yep...I agree...My H is a huge traveler for business and admitted on D day that many of the OW's he met were at airports/hotels/conventions, etc. Airports in particular seem to breed infidelity...It's so easy to be someone else when you're away from home and alone. I have said before how important I think it is to ask lots of questions and mabey even do a quick background check on someone before getting involved. Otherwise, how do you know he's telling you the truth. Obviously, he has cheated before because as the orginal poster said, he wouldn't just be approaching women in the airport if he hadn't..Why should you believe him now?

[Freedom Now]

Thanks guys!

 

My gut tells me that this pilot is a player and I am not interested in being with a player. Being burned by the whole MM situation has made me run the other direction when I smell a rat.

 

Maybe this guy isn't a rat, but I would never know for sure. And I don't want that type of relationship. Being with a guy when I'm not sure about him.....no thanks.

 

Thanks for all your advice. I will take the ego boost from him but leave it at that.

 

And, I agree, love will come when we least expect it. 2007 is about ME now, and my kids. And if some man walks into my life and sprinkles a little extra spice into my life, great. If not, I will be fine.

 

I survived the MM. I can certainly survive anything else life has waiting for me.

 

And I am fine alone. Being alone is something I am quite familiar with.

 

And, yes, you are right, outofdarkness, airports are a breeding ground for infidelity. That is how my xMM met me.

 

Sad.

[GreenEyedLady]

but make him WORK for it. Don't ever act desperate or needy out of fear of being alone. Never settle for anything less than what you want in life. The right guy is out there and when that time comes, you will know it. This is the one.

 

I don't think that we have to worry that FN would ever act in that manner...

[Freedom Now]

Nope. Never would I ever behave desperate or needy.

 

And I have not nor will ever settle in a relationship.

 

Just can't do it.

[BenThereDunThat]

I'm with ya, FN. Foot loose and fancy free for me in 2007. And if some man comes along that I deem worthy enough to spend a little time with, so be it.

 

If not, I'll still have fun.

[Porn_Guy]

I'm with ya, FN. Foot loose and fancy free for me in 2007. And if some man comes along that I deem worthy enough to spend a little time with, so be it.

excellent philosophy BTDT

[Freedom Now]

Yep, my sentiments exactly....