Haley Posted August 8, 2002 Share Posted August 8, 2002 I met a guy through friends at university last year and we had a very intense, 3 month relationship before he had to go back home. I was only after a bit of fun at first but it quickly became clear that what we had was serious. Anyway, as a student he didn't have much choice but to go home to finish his degree. He basically lives on the other side of the world. We email constantly, and he calls occasionally. Neither of us believe in the whole long distance relationship thing (without the physicality whats the point?), but it still hurts when he writes to me about his various girlfriends. I mean, I've been out with guys too but there's always that double standard. If i can't have him, no one else can! It's been almost a year now and I still think about him daily. I wish I could get over this because as law students it is almost impossible for either of us to get jobs in different countries (due to the different legal systems etc etc). Well I know there is basically no hope for us but I just wanted to write and let you know how I am feeling - frustrated! I wasn't going to add this on but... I guess at the back of my mind I also feel resenful of him. Before he left (literally, two days before his flight was due out) we found out I was pregnant. There was no other option I felt comfortable with other than an abortion. He never pressured me at all but I'm sure he was relieved. Anyway, he ended up leaving two days later and I had to go through the whole process alone. He called me and we talked about it but one part of me hates him for leaving me alone to go through it by myself. I mean, it would have been a hassle for him but sometimes I think what a jerk for not staying an extra couple of weeks to help me. Sorry to have babbled on! Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted August 8, 2002 Share Posted August 8, 2002 Having an abortion was no doubt a very difficult decision. But you would have resented him had you had the child, because he would have still had to leave. I think you are still holding onto him because of the emotional situation that there is. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted August 8, 2002 Share Posted August 8, 2002 If you really want to get over this, you need to cease all contact with him. Even though you may be dating, your heart isn't in it because he is in the back of your mind. The only way to remove him from your mind and heart is to move on and stop talking to him. It'll be hard, but since the two of you have no future together, you really have no other choice, unless you enjoy the situation you are in. Link to post Share on other sites
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