Guest Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 ok, it's only been three days, but I'm going crazy. I never really fall in love. I'm 23 years old, and the last time I remember being in love was when I was 17. We were together for half a year, which isn't much, but I think we had a pretty good relationship. Two months ago, I got pregnant. We were safe, but i guess not safe enough. That's where all the problems started. We had an abortion and I went through hell. I started clinging on to him. Suffocating him I guess, because I though he would be the one who could help me, but instead I was the only one who actually could help me. We had fights every week and three weeks ago we had a large fight we're we almost broke up. We talked it over and we didn't have any more arguments 'till three days ago. He couldn't cope with it any longer and broke up with me. I know he still loves me a lot. I saw how he looked me in the eyes, and he started crying when I left. (believe he doesn't normally cry). He says to stop calling him and to leave him alone. I wanaa do that but not when there's the risk of losing him. How long should I wait. Do I have to wait till he calls me. I hope he'll give me a second chance. I really care for him a lot and I believe we can have a great relationship, but I made some mistakes, because I had a hard time coping with my feelings. I'm not a clingy person, I really am independant. It was just that I couldn't control the siuation. I hope he'll realise that I really have changed, and that I do feel better about that certain issue. I just want him back. Link to post Share on other sites
MotherGooze Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 Well, that was me, but I decided to register because this seems like a really nice community Link to post Share on other sites
Santiago 17 Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 Something similar happened to me, it is funny how a very independent person can seem needy or clingy when or people situations suddenly change!!!, I would say write down how you feel and either mail it or drop it off but probably mail it, b/c if you call and talk one on one you might not be able to get across how you really feel, and you by writing it down and really thinking about what you want to say there won't be any misunderstandings. However, if he does not respond I would say leave it alone and respect his decision. Link to post Share on other sites
MotherGooze Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 You're right. That's what I did. I wrote a huge letter with all the solutions in it, showing him that we just made our relationship too difficult and that it could all be a lot easier. I haven't send it to him yet though, because I think now is best to leave him alone. When he broke up with me, I begged him for two days, called him, almost stalked him...I think he has enough of me right now, which I can understand completely. I'm gonna give him some space. I'm just afraid of getting too much hope that it'll work out; I don't want to be dissapointed. How do you get on with your life when you aren't really sure that's the thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Santiago 17 Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 I did the same thing for more than a couple of days only b/c we were playing immature games though, eventually after about two weeks we reconciled for about two days and then it was over again which was heartbreak all over again. I would say that you should keep doing what you are doing. If it was meant to be then it will work out. And I wouldn't worry about the calling and begging for a couple of days, everybody does that at first I have had some people do worse to me after only hanging out a few times, and I am sure he has had much worse too!!!!! So, just keep busy and use this to vent I wish I had found it four months ago!! Link to post Share on other sites
MotherGooze Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 Well. I got a message from him yesterday that he missed me. So I was stupid enough to go to his appartement, but he wasn't home so I called him. I asked him that if I would never get a second chance he'd had to say that, but he couldn't. Then I asked to say that he didn't love, but he couldn't either. He said he needed time and that I just shouldn't have to have too much hope, because he didn't know what he wanted right now. So I guess, I'll give him somemore time. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 Unfortunately the only thing you can do is give him space. He told you this clearly. You need to listen because if you don't there won't be any chance. It seems he would just be more abrupt and pull further away. It would be best if you focus on yourself instead of him. It sounds like a lot has happened and anyone would be reeling from all of that. Try looking at it as a much needed break from the added stress of a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 'Well. I got a message from him yesterday that he missed me.' MotherGooze, this guy sounds pretty messed up if he calls to say that he misses you and then backs off when you come to him. I don't think that you should be letting him play these mind games with you. He's holding all of the cards here, he has you dangling from a string waiting for him when and if he decides he wants you. Have some pride and stop waiting. Link to post Share on other sites
chryssy83 Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 Have you read any of the posts on here about No Contact? I would totally recommend it. You've made it clear to him that you are unhappy with the relationship ending and you are open to talking to him. Now DON'T CONTACT HIM ANYMORE!! It's the best way to get him back AND the best way to move on....so it's a win-win. If he wants you back he'll make it happen. If not, why waste your time pining when you can start moving on? Link to post Share on other sites
MotherGooze Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Hey everyone yes I read Link to post Share on other sites
MotherGooze Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Hey everyone yes I read all teh things about no contact but I think it was just too hard for me. I really missed him, and I'm sure he missed me. Last night I got a mail from him asking me to get together and talk about it. So tonight I'm going over to his place and talk. I really think he wants me back, but because of all that has happened, he's just scared of getting in the same situation all over again. I'm so nervous about tonight. I don't know how to act. I'll try and keep my cool, be friendly and assertive. sorry about the above post, can someone delete it? Link to post Share on other sites
MotherGooze Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Could someone help me as to what Ihave to say. I don't know anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
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