is it going to happen

[tknight`]

im 20 and my boyfriend is 21 we have been together for just about a year and a 1/2. we've know each other since the 5th grade and we've talked about getting married... he's already bought my ring. he says he wants to get married but he doesnt know when. i know he loves me and i love him. at first he said that we werent engaged yet because he needed my dads aproval, my dad gave it to him months ago with out my boyfriend even asking, my dad is telling him to do it now! and he'll pay for the wedding!! his mom is asking for grandchildren already, his grandmother who he cherishes more that anything in life is begging him to marry me.

 

the only person who is telling him not to do is his uncle (who he looks up to). He makes comments like hes going to but when ever i ask him about it he says hes not ready and maybe in 3 years. we already live together our families get along great, and we love and adore eachother more than life its self... i think he wants to but could i be wrong? could he just be saying he will so he wont lose me because i told him after we were dating for a while that i'll never be a life long "girlfriend" if you want to be with me, be with me" kinda like i wont wait around so when it comes to the time he will have to **** or get off the pot. why if hes had my engagement ring for over 6 months now why hasent he given it to me.... is it ever going to happen??????

[adnCat]

This is a really optimistic thought- maybe he just wants to surprise you with the proposal? I suggest you lay low for a few months. Maybe 3. Don't bring it up, just enjoy your relationship.

 

If in three months he is singing the same song ("maybe in 3 years will get married") then it might be time for another talk or even more drastic action.

 

I wonder if lots of people will reply to this and say you're too young to be worrying about this stuff, or say 1.5 years isn't that much time to have been dating, regardless of how long you have known each other. I'm not sure where I stand on this stuff, so I just tried to address your issue without regard to your age or length of relationship.

[Kinger25]

I will address your issue in terms of age and length of relationship !!

 

So many people rush into marriage these days. Infidelity is common place and divorce rates have rocketed.

 

I ALWAYS thought that I was going to marry my Ex BF. I met him when I was 17, he was 27 so quite a bit older than me. Right from day one I thought "this is the man for me" If you had told me 4 years ago that I wouldn't be with my Ex now I would have laughed in your face. We were like bread & butter.

 

fortunately for me, my Ex was not really the "marrying" type. I say fortunately because looking back on it now, I am glad that he never asked me to marry him becasue I probably would have said yes and we would now be divorced!! I was with my ex for 8 years solid.

 

The thing is, and I am only trying to put things into perspective for you. You ARE still very young and your relationship with your BF is also very young. 1 1/2 years is not at all long in the grand scheme of things. I am NOT saying in any way that you shouldn't get married, I am just looking at things maybe from your BF's point of view and maybe if you think about it, yours too.

 

Life changes, people change. The way that you perceive things now will change as you grow and mature. Your BF is exactly the same. He will have life altering experiences at some points in his life and these experiences will make him feel differently about the world and the people around him, its the cycle of life and it happens to everyone.

 

I would suggest that you let your relationship develop first before rushing into marriage. Let yourselves "grow up" and mature and feel the pleasures and pains that life itself has to offer you before you feel the pressures and strains of married life. I think your BF is being VERY sensible to suggest waiting another 3 years before you both tie the knot. Think about it, if its meant to be then it will be. If you are meant to be married to eachother then it doesn't matter if you wait a few years, if you are destined to be together then you will feel the same in 3 years time.

 

You need to build the foundations first. Find out who you both are and what you both want out of life. Build the trust and communication up and most of all ENJOY yourselves, whether it be together or apart. Share your dreams with eachother and talk about your future but please concentrate on these things before you rush into anything. If you spend time building the foundations of your relationship first and gaining eachothers total trust, learn to communicate and enjoy your time together for a bit before you get hitched I think you will stand a MUCH better chance of a long and successful marriage.

 

Let this go for a while now. Like the other poster said. Lay low and drop the subject with your BF. Let eachother breath and it will all sort itself out if you give it the chance to.

 

Good Luck

[tikigods]

Cause you guys are young, he has a lot of pressure (I mean come on what guy wouldn't be scared if they had all this GET MARRIED NOW AND START HAVING KIDS at 21?), you guys haven't been together that long in the grand scheme of things, and if you are freaking out already about not being engaged and after only a year and a half worried about being a life long girlfriend that I have to wonder if you aren't more imtrested in just being married for the sake of it, rather then because its teh right thing to do.

 

Why can't you wait for three years to be married? Why does it have to be now? Why can't you both just enjoy being together, learning abut eachother and otherwise building a good fondation for a lifelong ommitment rather then "we need to do it now cause I don't want to wait!".

 

Step back and see just the pressure he is under and I agree with his uncle