Guest Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 Ok the relationship started all sweet, him showing he cares a lot for me. He will always remind me that he loves me, but the way he says it doesn’t convince me. Until recently on one of the dates he started to bring up the subject of sex. It’s usually on how he views sex itself. He said he rather loved that person then go through sex later. However things didn’t stop there, recent messages he sends is basically on what he wants to do to me. Most of the things he talks about are just sexual. When he brought up the idea of exchanging naughty pictures of each other, he kept on badgering if I am still willing on going through it. The thing is I am starting to view he is only in it for the benefits of the physical side, rather than the emotional side. I do love him.. He is a great person, the question I put forth is he only saying “I Love you” just to relax me to giving into his demands. Any insight or advice would be gladly appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 Ok the relationship started all sweet, him showing he cares a lot for me. He will always remind me that he loves me, but the way he says it doesn’t convince me. Until recently on one of the dates he started to bring up the subject of sex. It’s usually on how he views sex itself. He said he rather loved that person then go through sex later. However things didn’t stop there, recent messages he sends is basically on what he wants to do to me. Most of the things he talks about are just sexual. When he brought up the idea of exchanging naughty pictures of each other, he kept on badgering if I am still willing on going through it. The thing is I am starting to view he is only in it for the benefits of the physical side, rather than the emotional side. I do love him.. He is a great person, the question I put forth is he only saying “I Love you” just to relax me to giving into his demands. Any insight or advice would be gladly appreciated my 2 cents i was in a similar situation, and my gf started thinking that way too, but that was only because i have a high sex drive - 2 or 3 times a day is just about right for me - however, having a high sex drive does not mean that is a proirity nor does it imply thats what the relationship is about - so, this is what i did - i told the gf, lets go 3 months without, so i can show u its aboutYOU not sex. so, that's what we did, she appreciated that, we grew together and trusted each other more. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 You don't know this guy well enough to trust that he's emotionally interested in you, so I'd say you're correct to wonder if he's just interested in sex or in you. As long as you aren't certain of the answer to that question, then you shouldn't have sex with him. Keep waiting until you're sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 You don't know this guy well enough to trust that he's emotionally interested in you, so I'd say you're correct to wonder if he's just interested in sex or in you. As long as you aren't certain of the answer to that question, then you shouldn't have sex with him. Keep waiting until you're sure. what would u do this situation tho? i want to start something up with someone i think is really special, but, i keep getting mixed signals [is she dating someone or not] - i don't know what to do? i am told one day she is taken, and that i should go, then that she is not, and is interested - this has gone on for months - so what do i do? i even asked her directly but she doesn't say - what would u do? ireally like her and want to move slow and do all the right things Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 You don't know this guy well enough to trust that he's emotionally interested in you, so I'd say you're correct to wonder if he's just interested in sex or in you. As long as you aren't certain of the answer to that question, then you shouldn't have sex with him. Keep waiting until you're sure. i hope this doesn't come across bad because sex has never been a #1 priority for me, of course i enjoy, but if someone thought that's all i was about i would be extremely hurt - and one of the hardest things i have had to deal with is how a woman i once was with, how i utterly destroyed any trust between us sexually. we started off so natural and happy and now there is not one single thing she doesn't doubt or have ill feelings about with me. imagine having to deal with the fact that what was once perfect [yes, perfect - in my eyes anyways] is now completely questioned - i knew i did that myself - i am sorry. i hurt her in many ways - that way big time. she proabably will never see me as a sexual being again. that is the cost of being a tool and not being aware. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 i hope this doesn't come across bad because sex has never been a #1 priority for me, of course i enjoy, but if someone thought that's all i was about i would be extremely hurt - and one of the hardest things i have had to deal with is how a woman i once was with, how i utterly destroyed any trust between us sexually. we started off so natural and happy and now there is not one single thing she doesn't doubt or have ill feelings about with me. imagine having to deal with the fact that what was once perfect [yes, perfect - in my eyes anyways] is now completely questioned - i knew i did that myself - i am sorry. i hurt her in many ways - that way big time. she proabably will never see me as a sexual being again. that is the cost of being a tool and not being aware. hey i am back. You are probably right on what he is thinking right now. To begin with he wanted to be my bf, but i turn him down because of my studies.. All i can report is it was a fling. We liked each other for awhile, but since both side did something wrong that disapprove the other, i guess we never thought we could be together in the first place. So i thank-you for all your advice, i am moving on over this heartache Link to post Share on other sites
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