Kantotero Posted August 10, 2002 Share Posted August 10, 2002 In one of our talks in bed, the talks gravitated to past loves. I admitted to my wife that I was intimate with a friend when I was still living in America. My wife got pissed off. This happened before we were married. Why should a past relationship affect my wife? Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted August 10, 2002 Share Posted August 10, 2002 Were you involved in any way at the time? Even at a distance or through telephone? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 10, 2002 Share Posted August 10, 2002 No woman wants to hear about any other woman her husband has screwed in the past. It doesn't matter when it was or the circumstances. Why in heaven's name would you even want to bring that up? And even if a woman asks, they may seem to be curious and they are but you'll always pay hell if you answer with tales of previous sexual encounters. This is pre-kindergarten psychology stuff. Hell yes, your wife is going to be upset!!! There are things that we do in life that are personal and meant to remain that way for all time and for good reason. She is pissed that you would dishonor her with that kind of information. This is a lesson unfortunately you did not learn much earlier in life. Oh, well, your wife will get over it in 25 or 30 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted August 10, 2002 Share Posted August 10, 2002 What we don't know, CAN hurt us. Actually more women than you think DO want to know about their s.o.'s past. They want to know, but they don't want to be shocked. It's way better to tell the person what your past was like as soon as you get close. I know I've had things in the past that I am not happy about, but I let them know. I have NOTHING to hide, and the girl will either like me for who I am or not like me at all. To keep the truth from someone by being silent is as bad as telling a lie. "I'd rather you hate me for telling you the truth, than have you love me for telling you lies." I follow that quote all the time. If someone can't like you for WHO you are, then you don't match up with them. Your past is a good judge of character. I have nothing to hide. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 10, 2002 Share Posted August 10, 2002 Whatever works for you, my friend. If people want to know about my past, they'll just have to wait for my biography to come out. Now, I do agree if there is something exceptional that must be disclosed...such as a conviction for murder or robbery...or if a person suspects they may have AIDS...that ought to be disclosed. I'm glad you choose to tell all. That's great if it works for you. I am the only one in the world who determines what personal information gets out to others about me and I have superb faith in my judgement to decide in that regard. I will spend days talking about everything else about me...but I draw healthy boundaries when it comes to the personal...just like my shrinks have told me is proper. Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted August 10, 2002 Share Posted August 10, 2002 Tony, I know we have conflicting view points many times. Although your views are different than mine, and mine different from yours, conflicting views offer better advice for the poster. I hope we both agree on that . I know it seems like someone will just leave you if you tell them about your past that makes you look bad, or you think it may make you look bad. I have been open with my girlfriends and they have been open with me, If there was a problem, I gave them another chance to be completely honest. If they didn't want to tell me something, I didn't bother. Just after time they have told me everything. Yes, I did get information that made me think different about them, and yes I did judge them for that. I believe in the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
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