Having feelings for friend

[dxh]

Hey all, maybe you guys can help me.... i met this one girl a couple years back and we really hit it off and became good friends... i never really knew if she ever liked me; some times i kind of thought so. We talked constantly and occasionally hung out- everytime having much fun. Initially i did not have any feelings for her, however that changed drastically over time...

 

During that time she had a couple of different boyfriends -- both at points which i had started to develop feelings for her. At times when i think that she did like me, i think that i may have not made a move, which may have caused her to go in a different direction. Despite it completely bugging me, i didnt let her know and rather decided to back off a bit, however was always still there for her (after all we were good friends).

 

We started talking again, and everything seemed to be going fine, (we even decided to have courses together), and again, i have again begun to have feelings for her, ---

 

this however has come at a point at which she had begun seeing somebody (not boyfriend type stuff however)-- and its bugging the hell out of me again. Im guessing that she in a way knows, and and has made subtle comments as "as a friend" --- is it because she is seeing someone, or have i completely lost........ ? i dont know at all ,...whether i should continue to pursue her or to completely look for someone else and not think about this anymore.... (its hard though)

 

also about telling her, to prevent causing anything awkward between us, i have refrained from telling her unless i sensed that any actions at the moment had potential.

but i dont know, any advice? thanks

 

other useful info(?):

both 21 in college:bunny:

[Luvinit]

Well, if you do have romantic feelings for her, I would let her know. Especially if you two hit it off well and you feel that you two could work. Just be sure not to be too overbearing about it.

 

In my experience most women like a man that knows what he wants, especially if it is her. One thing they tend to NOT to like is a man who is too shy or afraid to speak up... in other words 'a boy'.

 

It is of course possible that the friendship could be hurt if she does not feel the same about you romantically, but usualy only if the friendship is not strong to begin with. So you will have to ask yourself how important it is for you to get involved with her romantically. Do you want to be with her enough to take that risk?

[boshemia]

How much pain are you willing to bear? I know it's hard to put yourself out there and be honest with someone in a situation like that... but until you do all you are doing is torturing yourself.

 

The worst thing she can do is say she isn't interested, which sounds really bad but it's nothing compared to what you are doing to yourself right now. Most of the time that conversation doesn't end friendships, it may make it strange for awhile but it will make things better in the long run trust me.

 

She might even say no at first but you may just plant a seed, something that will go hey... maybe I do really like him. I've seen it happen...

 

You are sitting around worrying about the "ifs" right now, and you owe it to yourself and to her to get the facts down.

 

Whne you do tell her, and if she doesn't seem interested remember this. Confidence is key here. Move on... don't sit home and mope. Go out on a few dates, or at least keep your schedule busy enough that when you do see her you can tell her "Oh hey, sorry I've been so busy. We went to this slamming club last night and it was awesome, You should have been there." You don't have to tell her that we was you and your best friend. Talk about other girls, not in a way designed to make her jealous of course, but more in terms of hanging out with them, being attrated to them. Make sure she knows that she was not your one and only option.

 

Why? Nothing tempts a girl more than the one that got away!