Self-Injury

[ouchmybody]

Hi,

 

I was wondering if anyone has had problems with self-injury? I never thought I had a problem, but for some reason it seems to have just dawned on me that I do. I am a perfectionist in every aspect of my life. For years I can not deal with anything going wrong, and when something gets stressful or goes wrong in my life I resort to many different forms of "self punishment". Sometimes I will make myself throw up after every meal (will maybe last several weeks) or not eat for a few weeks (I lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks when I broke up with my BF)...often instead I will pinch myself leaving sores or bruises, punch myself leaving bruises on my thighs, pull my hair, or bite.

 

I fantasize about cutting myself, but I don't want to scar my body. Please understand this is NOT done for attention. I absolutely want No one to find out that I do this. I am ashamed and I don't want to go see someone or tell anyone I know. That is why I am resorting to posting on this forum.

 

I just found out my ex has just started seeing someone new, and again today I hurt myself, and am thinking about what I will do to myself next, even as I write this. Please help out if you have any advice or have also been through this.

 

 

Thanks!

[whichwayisup]

You're doing it to FEEL something and to be incontrol.

 

Please go talk to your family doctor, so you can get the help you need. Something is going on, whether it be depression, anxiety or something else. The sooner you can open up and talk to a therapist, the sooner you'll feel better. I know you don't want to do therapy, but it can help you. ANd please, don't feel ashamed...Many people suffer from various things, I have an anxiety disorder and like you, kept my problem hidden for a long time. I was scared to open up and tell people because of how they might feel about me.....I got help and now am doing SO much better!! So, please, consider therapy. Don't isolate yourself through this.

 

The therapy will help you cope better, you'll learn how to handle things better, both emotionally and physically that way you won't want to harm yourself...

 

Keep posting and again, consider therapy.

[pricillia]

Yes I agree, you should talk to a professional about this because sooner or later you may end up cutting yourself, please do not let it go that far.

[jetsetjessica]

I've gone through what you have, but I went straight to cutting.

 

Part of making this stop is understanding why you do it.

 

Some of the most common reasons are:

 

They are having things go wrong and feel they don't have control over what's happening, so they will hurt themselves because it is the one thing in their life they have absolute control over

 

They don't vent their emotions when something happens, so it builds up to the point where they are overhwelmed with emotional pain. So they will hurt thenselves for the pain. It temporarily replaces the emotional pain they feel with physical pain, which is easier to cope with.

 

They might be in so much pain inside and feel like they are alone. They feel like nobody knows their pain. They probably had been pretending nothing is wrong and walking around with a fake smile for a long time. It gets to the point where they feel the need to make a physical manifestation of the pain they are feeling.

 

 

 

Whatever the reason is, make sure you know what it is.

 

People experience hardships and upsetting situations every day. Most people just learned healthy ways to deal with the emotions. Some will call a friend and vent. Some go for a walk or draw to calm them down. but people who hurt themselves don't know how to effectively use these coping skills.

 

People who self injure have normal reaction steps out of order. A normal person will have the event happen then process what happened and think about it then they will react. Someone who self injures will have the event happen then react and then process the event and think, which is why a lot of self injurers feel guilty or stupid afterwards.

 

 

All you need to do is learn the correct coping skills and work on putting thinking before reacting.

 

The people who replied before me advised you see a therapist. Well I couldn't do that. I went to my ex boyfriend that was like my best friend and I went to several other good friends. I told them the problems and asked them to share their coping skills. They all told me what they do instead of hurting themselves and I tried a bunch until I found one that worked for me. Now instead of cutting I listen to loud music and dance until I'm out of energy. By the time I get tired I will be able to think rationally. And everytime I'm in a negative situation I try and remember to think before acting. I have to really force myself but I got the steps back in order.

 

 

Good luck, and feel free to email me if you ever need to talk. [email protected]

[Motor35]

I was a cutter. And I sounded just like you. I used to make myself throw up, used bleach to scrub my face with a brillo pad, cigarette burns on my arms, and I am sure I am forgetting some sort of self-harm. I also used to pierce various parts of my body.

I finally went to therapy after 11 years of self-harm. My therapist truly helped me. That might be what you need. My doctor talked things out with me and never judged me - not once. He helped me learn how to deal with my deep emotions without hurting myself. Even simple things like journaling and walking helped me deal with my feelings.

Is therapy at all a possibility for you?

[DyingHeart]

I was you. But worse. I cut myself, overdosed on pills, hung myself. See the thing is..you may just be thinking about it now, but it WILL progress into cutting. When cutting doesn't help anymore, it will progress onto something else. I don't know you, but I would never tell you, that this is for attention. It's a self destructive way to ease the pain. Like drinking and drugs. In this situation, I would highly recommend therapy. There are different kinds of therapy available to you. You just have to do the research and look. I've never made myself throw up. I have emetephobia, can't do that, but I did starve myself. Now trying to deal with my current break up, the only thing I did was not eat much, and I assume that's normal. And trust me, you don't want the scars. I have hundreds of them. It can be downright embarrasing at times, and people tend to think differently of you. So please before you make yourself worse, find a good therapist and maybe some medication therapy.

Hugs,

Chrissi

[Blue Phoenix]

Please get help for this before its to late. No one but you can look into your heart and say exactly why your doing it. We all have our own demons we have to learn to deal with in time. But your def not alone many people have struggled with the same thing your going thu. Talk to some one about it in real life as well as on here. Let them know whats going on and ask for help before you do cross the line into cutting your self...