edrunner27 Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 I'm currently a 20 yr old college student (junior) dating a girl one year older than I am (senior). I'm planning on applying to either medical or physical therapy school depending on where I can get in and she's planning on going to medical school. My girlfriend is planning to take a year off and is willing to live on campus in order to be with me (vs living in the city, my school is in the middle of nowhere). However, my parents will not let us live together next year. My girlfriend and I have only been dating a little over 6 months but we know we're right for each other. We've already discussed marriage even though we don't plan on getting married for a couple years. Right now my parents are paying for my tuition and living expenses. By defying them and signing a lease to live with my girlfriend next year would go directly against what they told me. Should I alienate my parents to be with the love of my life? And is there any possible way to become financially independent so that they can't hold so much influence over me? Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 Plenty of people put themselves through school on their own. There are grants and financial aid programs available that pay for school and even help with living expenses. You should prepare for that so you are more informed and empowered with or without the living situation. Just so you know what is out there. If you do make the move to live with this girl, against your parents wishes, you very well may alienate them, which they may or may not get over. Only you can decide if that is the move you should make. By the time I was 20 I was already making all of my own decisions as far as living my life. Some of my decisions were not good ones and I found out later I should have listened to my mom. But I think most people go through the same kinds of things. There are always clashes and growing pains when you start creating your own life. It is to be expected. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
onelostpup Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 This is a hard one to give advice on. I'm sure there are many sound arguments for either side, both of which could be right....or wrong. Try to make sure that however you choose to handle this, try to make sure of your reasons. That being said...I am estranged from family to the point we haven't spoken in years, and then it wasn't good. The pain of not having them around has been hard at times. On the flip side, being totally on your own can make you a very strong and resourceful individual. A rule that I try to live by is "The first one who asks me to make a choice loses". If you have loving parents, I'm sure they may be upset for a little while but will come around. The love a parent has for a child is enormous and overcomes anything. Be strong, be wise, and whatever you do, do it better than anybody else. Link to post Share on other sites
vanessabg Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 Yes,Onelostpup!Is right said,you should take decision about your life but your parents also love you and after some time they will turn to you,be strong and be wise about whatever you do . Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 If your parents don't want you to be happy and try to impose their will on your life then they are really controlling...so of course you should be with your love or you're going to regret it for the rest of you life. If you really want to you can make it work without the control freaks you have as parents, think about it do you want to live your life being told what to do by your parents? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 Stop taking their money & start living your life the way you see fit. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted January 12, 2007 Share Posted January 12, 2007 I think getting financially independent from your parents is a good idea. As a separate issue, given your age, I am willing to bet that if your girlfriend moves in with you, you will not end up married. You will live together a year or so and burn out on each other. If you are OK with that possible outcome, then go for it. (I know lots of posters will disagree with this, but it is based on my own experience and people I've known.) If you really do want to marry her, I would strongly suggest not living together until you have a ring and a date. Link to post Share on other sites
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