PLEASE RESPOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lianne]

I'm 17,I've been involved with my boyfriend(23) for 4 years (dating steady for 2 years). Well I broke up with him this morning because I was very upset with our relationship.

 

1-When we fight, it's for days, sometimes I feel that he's unsupportive, and when I try to hint that there's a problem with the way he treats me he doesn't acknowledge me, when I say it straight up, he makes me seem lik I'm making a big deal of nothing, but I think if he treats me in a way that makes me feel disrespected or unappreciated it is a big deal and it hurts that he'd rather invalidate me than respect my feelings and make ammends.

 

2-Another problem is that I am a student and I was supposed to graduate last year. My school is an alternative school and alot of my graduation requirements demand alot of my free time. I had a night job before which I quit because my schoolwork was being neglected and my boyfriend and I made a plan that would make us money. The problem is that he makes over $1,000/weekly (take home) and lives with his parents so he doesn't have major expenses so after I quit my job and we started on our plan he said he had enough money to take care of himself and didn't want to put effort into something else. I thought this was selfish because he's been with me, he knows my family's financial problems that forced me to get a job and I wouldn't have quit my job if I know he'd flake out on our plan.

 

3-The biggest problem is that I realy love him, but I feel that the communication is weak and his support of me also.

 

I'm sorry this is long, I tried. If you ask me questions in your response I'll answer, I'm so desperate for advice.

[AZKIDD]

It really sounds like he is using his age and income, to try and dominate the relationship. Breaking up was probably the best things you could have done. I say that for a couple of reasons. The first being that it shows you won't allow someone to continuosly be unfair and unappreciative, and that you won't just keep putting up with it to be in a relationship. Secondly, it may be possible that he has started to take you for granted, and maybe not intentionally, but this "break-up" will let you know! Believe me the old statement "You don't know what you have until it is gone" really applies. If your relationship was at a point where he didn't have to "work" for it, then he may have just got a little "lacks" about it. Give this a try and if it doesn't work then he isn't worth it. Take some time to look at the relationship as open minded and from as many different perspectives as possible. If the two of you have a very set routine, tell him you have other plans or that you are going to do something else. What you want to do is make him have to "chase" you again. If he cares about you, and is interested in more than having "somebody" to be with, he WILL come after you! Then you will be in a position where if he wants you back he will at least listen to your thoughts and desires. You are way to young to give up your own happiness for someone that doesn't even appreciate it! AZKIDD

[Brandi]

Ok well I want to say first off that I believe that if you are not happy in the relationship that you are in get out of it now. Yes you may love him but if he treats you in the ways you describe you owe it to yourself to get rid of him and find someone who will treat you like you should be treated like gold. I broke off a relationship about 5 months ago because of that same reason. Find someone that loves you for you and will stand behind you no matter what. There are tons of people in the world, not just him.

[Tina]

You are so young and you deserve someone much better than

 

this man you are with. I know you love him, but love is

 

not enough. You are going to burn yourself out trying to

 

make your relationship healthy and satisfying, because

 

you are the one doing all of the work. Respect yourself and

 

demand that your boyfriend treat you with kindness and

 

respect. If he doesn't, get rid of him. It will hurt

 

a lot when you do, because you love him, but you will find

 

happiness with someone else. People can only disrespect

 

you if you let them.

I'm 17,I've been involved with my boyfriend(23) for 4 years (dating steady for 2 years). Well I broke up with him this morning because I was very upset with our relationship. 1-When we fight, it's for days, sometimes I feel that he's unsupportive, and when I try to hint that there's a problem with the way he treats me he doesn't acknowledge me, when I say it straight up, he makes me seem lik I'm making a big deal of nothing, but I think if he treats me in a way that makes me feel disrespected or unappreciated it is a big deal and it hurts that he'd rather invalidate me than respect my feelings and make ammends. 2-Another problem is that I am a student and I was supposed to graduate last year. My school is an alternative school and alot of my graduation requirements demand alot of my free time. I had a night job before which I quit because my schoolwork was being neglected and my boyfriend and I made a plan that would make us money. The problem is that he makes over $1,000/weekly (take home) and lives with his parents so he doesn't have major expenses so after I quit my job and we started on our plan he said he had enough money to take care of himself and didn't want to put effort into something else. I thought this was selfish because he's been with me, he knows my family's financial problems that forced me to get a job and I wouldn't have quit my job if I know he'd flake out on our plan. 3-The biggest problem is that I realy love him, but I feel that the communication is weak and his support of me also. I'm sorry this is long, I tried. If you ask me questions in your response I'll answer, I'm so desperate for advice.