Im in pain and I need your help

[Greatpele1]

It all started may 31 1999 when i asked out a 15 year old girl when i was 17 we dated for a week and she broke up with me.......after that we talked on and off for 2 years she always told me she was in love with me and i was the only one for her and that no matter what even if she got married I would always be her one and only.......

 

so as the years passed on Oct 12, 2001 we went out on a date. We started talking fooling around for months, we did everything together, just i never officialy asked her out because of her dumbing me 2 years ago but we basically were going out. We had talked about doing stuff with other people but both decided we would not becuase it was not right. I trusted her a lot way way way a lot. Only becuase she used to tell me how much i was her future and im the only one other then her husband unless i become her husband then im the only one.

 

I wouldnt take her to prom, she was 17 it was May, and her prom was coming up, so i decided to take her it was a saturday night. We went to the hotel room afterwards and shared a passionate evening, doing things we had never done before. I would like to reiterate we were not technically going ou, but we said we would never do anything with someone else and we did more then a boyfriend girlfriend would.

 

3 days later we are leaving a building she offers to give one of our friends a ride. The friend had mentioned to me that he was going to play with her mind and pretend to kiss her then move away as a joke. So i felt bad and pulled her aside and mentioned be carefull, he might pull something she said oh dont worry about it. So she drives me and him to the parking lot. ........ to make a long story short he tries to kiss her she moves away...but then he forgot his keys so she drives him back ... and then back to his car and this time he tries again and she lets him they kiss 3 times then he tries to add some tounge she pulls away.... says "bye" he says bye and she drives off. He comes up the parking lot tells me the whole story. She is still in the parking lot I go back ask her what happend she goes nothing it was sooo funny he treid to kiss me i moved away. Then i say ur a liar, so she admits to it .....

 

MY PROBLEM IS I WANT TO DIE...every day since then i think about it and everytime i think about it it KILLS Me eating inside. I get depressed all ****ed up. I always used to trust her now i dont even want her to walk in the mall becuase i get jelous...... how do i get over this what do i do i need help please help me thanks email me if this doesnt make sense ill explain better thanks people

[Bill]

You want to die because someone kissed your girlfriend and she kissed back? That's silly!

 

You say: "we did more than a boyfriend girlfriend would". Well I can't see how this is possible. You'd be quite shocked at what different couples do together!

 

If you were not going out, then she's not your girl. Now would be the time to ask her to be your EXCLUSIVE girl. If not, then forget about it. If you can't do that, then you don't deserve to be together with her. If she denys you this, then it was never meant to be.

 

Most importantly, she's not your girl. (yet)

[velvet]

Sounds like it to me! When to people love each other and want to be together, especially during a young age where no baggage is involved they don't kiss other people.

 

Unless of course your both young kids with nothing better to do than play high school games move on to someone who can show more respect and compassion for a r/s, f/s with ties!

[redhd_girl]

Hi there,

 

Oh you poor sweet dear! I hate to sound like an old lady (which I already do!). Your so young. There is a statement "This too shall pass". You sound like a passionate, sweet individual! You don't want to end your life for some relationship problem. You know what? In a few months (if you do not have contact with that person) you will discover that there are other people out there! Think about your future! You could be the next........Nobel Peace Prize winner, President, FBI Agent, Actor! Who knows! The future is so bright and exciting! When your the great person that I know you will become you can look back on this incident and laugh. Believe me! Life is so fleeting, don't waste your time in misery. If you need to get professional help for depression. You can feel better. Take care and good luck.

[Ally Boo]

You probably aren't going to like what I have to say.

 

Ok you would never ask her "out" because you didn't want her to break up with you again...you were punishing her or whatever. Ok first of all, she isn't obligated to just kiss you anyway, whether or not she said you'd be her one and only. As a woman, I would get pretty resentful of a guy who just wanted me around with no intention of ever making me his girl officially...that stuff DOES matter. And if she doesn't want to see you anymore, being "offical" has nothing to do with her not seeing you. She could tell you that she doesn't want to see you again, and it would hurt just as much. So your defense mechanism didn't work.

 

To me you look like a complete jerk having "passionate evenings" with a girl who you won't even have the decency to let her know you want to be in an offical relationship with.

 

She lied to you because she didn't want to hurt you, but you knew the truth anyway, and she admitted to it. And now you can't get over the fact that this UNOFFICAL girl you have been "not seeing" kissed another guy. And now it's making you crazy? OMG You are looking for ANOTHER "out" in the relationship. So not only do you have that one "out" about not being offical with her so she can't break up with you again, but now you have 2 "outs" because she (a girl who is NOT your girlfriend) kissed another guy.

 

You have intimacy problems. You are distancing yourself from her and putting yourself in a safe zone. And to ME, it seems like you let her ride with that guy as a test anyway. Grow up, face your feelings and realize that pain is love, and it just makes you even stronger. Don't use it against yourself to make you a harder person.

 

Its obvious you care about her, so why don't you just admit it to yourself and to HER. Give her some respect! So what if you break up? Be a man and grow up! How in God's name do you expect some woman to be hanging around on your every word if you won't even give her the decency of letting her know your TRUE feelings, and proving that offically to the whole world?

[LADYJAY]

hey, listen nothing is worth killing yourself plus your still young and you have no kids together no real ties you will get over it , it just takes time i know how you feel i'm going threw the same thing right now. it has to get better

[quankanne]

chalk it up to learning.

 

as young as you two are, this is just one blip in the spectrum of time and experience. If she's telling you that you are her one and only, but doesn't give any indication that she's willing to be your exclusive girlfriend, she's playing games with you and you're content to be her lovesick fool, willing to settle for crumbs of affection. Or you might be trying too hard to be with someone who obviously doesn't have that kind of interest in you, otherwise she'd be shouting from the rooftops that she's your girl.

 

yes, you're hurting badly from this experience, but you have to remember that you were built to bounce back. The only thing that's stopping you from doing so is you. So start meeting other girls and dating them. You're not going to find someone right away, but you're better off getting back into the dating pool than making yourself miserable over some little chicky.