Very frustrated

[blondegirl30]

Hi, I just found this forum on relationships and hope to get some feedback. I met my boyfriend online over a year ago and at that time I was living in north carolina and still married and he lived in Canada where he still lives. We had communicated via internet and telephone and I knew it was wrong since I was still married but the marriage was basically a roommate situation. My boyfriend had no influence on the breakup of the marriage because it wasn't really a marriage in the first place. We pretty much just continued to stay married out of convience. So, a few months ago we seperated and moved back to ohio, where I'm living now.

Since then he's come here twice to see me. The first time he just came to get me and took me to where he lives in canada to stay for a week. I was nervous and excited at the same time hoping the chemistry would still be there when we met in person and it definitely was. The second time he came and stayed here for a week because he had vacation time.

We talk online every night and on the phone most nights, but I'm just getting very frustrated because I want to at least see him because its been a couple months. I'm constantly nagging at him about it. He always just tells me that this is hard for him too but his finances aren't very good right now, which I understand but I'm just very impatient. I know he's under a lot of stress with work, etc. It just seems to me that he's in no hurry to get out of his current situation and start a life with me. I always ask him if he really loves me and he always says that he does and wouldn't have traveled so far to see me and cross a border if he didn't.

I really though feel like he's the one for me and if he proposed marriage tomorrow i'd accept. I just need to know what to do. Should I just keep hanging in there in hopes this will someday somehow come together? I've thought a lot about moving there, because of his family, job, etc. is there, but i'd rather him move here. How long should two people have to wait before their together?

[norajane]

Well, you're not yet divorced, right? So I'd say you need to take care of that before worrying about moving to Canada.

 

Basically, in the whole time you've known each other, you've only seen each other in person twice for a total of two weeks. And you've only been separated from your husband a few months. That doesn't sound like enough time together to start pushing for a big change like a move or marriage.

 

Be patient, get your act together with the divorce, and then start thinking about the future. In the meantime, why don't you make time to go visit him since he can't get away from his job? You need to spend more time together IN PERSON to truly know whether you are compatible in the long run.