What should I do?

[huntsvilletiger]

I was involved n a relationship with this girl for 6 months. We started out as good friends, but it quickly turned to more. She was co-oping and taking classes at night so we only got to go out on dates every couple of weeks. We were never officially a couple. She said she wanted to wait to until the end of the semester because she didn't feel it was fair to have a boyfriend when she wouldn't have time to spend with him.

 

We acted like we were a couple though when we could get together. We went out together every time she was free, I would visit her at her dorm room and we would eat dinner together, we took naps together on her bed a time or two, etc.. During spring break she still had to co-op, but she had a couple of evenings free. I cooked dinner for her and we had our first make out secession where cloths were removed. She's doesn't believe in sex before marriage so I didn't push her too hard and she decided to leave before things got a little too hot, because she said she was really tempted to go farther than just making out.

 

I thought things were going great. We had made all these plans of things we wanted to do when the semester was over. Toward the end of the semester she seemed really stressed out. She told me it was just because of finals so I told her it was no big deal.

 

When the semester ended she started canceling things that we had planned and made all these really lame excuses, so I could tell something was wrong.

 

One day we were chatting online and she seemed upset and I thought it was something I said so I emailed her a few hours later and her reply sounded angry and she said she had been seeing someone else for weeks and told me all these things that were going wrong with her life. I emailed her back telling and basically told her that I was dealing with a lot of the same things and that I loved her and how dare she do that to me without at least telling me. So a little while later she IMed me and was very upset and told me she was so sorry because she didn't know what to do when it came to relationships. We talked for a while and then spent the next few weeks trying to work things out. However a couple of weeks later she told me her and the other guy were officially a couple. She acted like i she thought I would be cool about it and she just expected me to go back to being her best buddy, but when I acted hurt, sad, and upset she looked really surpised and sad. I told her I need a couple of weeks away from her before I could talk to her again. When I finally was able too talk to her a week and a half later, she said she wanted to be friends but she needed space. I told her it was ok and if she needed some time it would be ok.

 

This is where things really started to get difficult. Up until this point it had been a fairly normal if awkward and painful break-up. She had just moved into a new apartment and didn't even want to give me her new apartment number or new phone number. Which makes no sense since she had sent me her apartment building number and told me she would give me her apartment number as soon as she got it a few days before and I already had her cell phone number and wasn't calling her all the time or anything. In fact she knows me well enough to know that if she asked me not to call I wouldn't even if I did have that number. Now she says she wants us to be friends again, but she needs more time.

 

It's been 2 months and all we do is talk online. The thing is I still love her and want her back. I've told her that I just can't turn off my feeling overnight, but that I do consider her my friend and I want us to have a good friendship. She keeps telling me that she still cares about me and will be there if I need her, too. I've told her I want to move forward as friends, and she's promised it'll get better, but she's still keeping me at arm's length. I want her as my friend, but I still love her too. I just don't know what to do. Is there anything I can do to win her back or at the very least get our friendship back to something that is more like a normal friendship. If I don't get our friendship to where I'm more comfortable with it I'm going to have to decide whether or not I can stay friends with her and I'd rather not have to do that.

[velvet]

It is over and I hope you realize it. Break ups are painful but you have to look at it now as she is happy. Now its time for you to find your on life.

 

You will find love again. Why she didn't have the respect to end things a little differently I couldn't say. Most breakups aren't so pretty.

 

I'm a fond believer that a break up should be on such a mutual level that it causes no pain on either part and brings much joy to look into the future of possibility's.