insides out...

[Jeni]

Alright.. i really need help from someone who knows what they're talking about. And try not to be biased at all kay guys? I'm 18 years old.. but i know more than you'd think. And i love a man who is 30. I would never recommend this to anyone, ever.. but i love him. There is no doubt in my mind that we could be together forever- it's the kind of unconditional love that everyone looks for. We've never gone beyond friendship, we never even touch (hugging, nothing)so i know it's not just hormones for either of us.

 

The thing is (here comes the bomb) he's married. I respect that and have held my feelings back because the last thing i want is to break up someone's marriage. I've even told him to work as best he can to save the marriage (they've done counseling and everything)But despite this, he wants out of the marriage. It has nothing to do with me or his feelings for me. Most likely he will be getting a divorce soon. He has 2 children. Believing it's better to face the problems of divorce than to be forever in a loveless marriage (my parents are divorced,so i know) I would have no problem making a life-long commitment to him and to love his kids (they already love me). But how do i know he won't fall out of love with me? I trust him so much and love him so much.. but so did she.

 

And what do i do if he doesn't get divorced? How can i hold back all the love i feel and still be his friend?

 

Bottom line is- All i want is for him to be happy- what should i do?

[Richie]

If he is divorced marry him or go away from him. If you know, you are not going to marry him, why do you want to remain as friend. There is a danger of crossing the friendship line when he is still in marriage and also you will have the pain of suppressing your feelings for him.

 

Time can heal everything. Think of an incident that worried you most in the last 5 years. You would have worried a lot for that. Now it will look as a very simple problem. You may even feel shy for worrying about it so much 5 years ago. In the same way, what worries so much now will be NOTHING after 5 years. The point is, you will forget everything in the long run and learn to move on.

 

The best way to trust someone is to trust him. Mind can change at any time. Nobody can predict what will happen to your marriage after 3 years. You have to take risk. When you risk, there is always a chance to fail. Being afraid of failure, you cannot stop risking.

 

-Richie

[Lianne]

Please, I'm your age and I see where you're coming from, not that i've been in this situation but don't do it okay. LEAVE HIM ALONE. Let him handle his stuff and get out of his life, he's too damn old and he may be using you as a crutch in his situation and it looks like disaster whether you're 18 or 30 too.