JackBlack Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I'm somewhat sexually inexperienced for my age (25), but I've had this idea on my mind for the last few months of finding a 30-something (or older) woman to open me up sexually and teach me a thing or two. The reason I think this might be possible for me is because I typically get looks from females, but when I get them from older women, they don't bother to hide the lust in their eyes. I probably experience this most at restaurants or coffee shops where the server or cashier is an attractive late-30's woman. I guess to me this type of match-up is ideal because, for me, it would be a great way for me to become more sexually experienced by having an older seasoned woman show me the ropes, and to her, she could have her way with a young sexually repressed guy such as myself. I was just wondering how I might go about finding a woman like this. To those 30-year-old (and older) single women out there, what goes through your mind when you see a young attractive 20-something male? Because it seems these types of women seem less shy about hiding their attraction, does this also mean that they are likely more open to a FWB relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 No, older women aren't more likely to be interested in a FWB arrangement. Actually, a woman in her 30's is MORE likely to want a serious relationship leading to marriage and children. Her bio clock is ticking and she doesn't have time to waste on non-relationships. Just because a woman might look at you in a sexually admiring way, doesn't mean she wants to teach you how to have sex. That's one reason I have always stayed away from younger men...I don't need to be anyone's teacher. I want a partner. But, hey, good luck to you. You might want to ask out one of those women who are staring at you so lustfully. Link to post Share on other sites
typical Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Perhaps they might have a thing or two to teach you, but be sure to carry this honesty here with us over to the women that you approach. Some women are all for straight sex without strings attached, but quite a few of them would be hurt to know that you are only wanting to use them for experience purposes. Just out of curiosity, why exactly are you trying to gain experience? To impress a future younger girlfriend? Or a wife, should you get married? Just to have the experience? I ask because I would think it could get rather dull and possibly create soul sickness to just have sex to gain experience and nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
typical Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 actually, Nora had an outstanding point as well: No, older women aren't more likely to be interested in a FWB arrangement. Actually, a woman in her 30's is MORE likely to want a serious relationship leading to marriage and children. Her bio clock is ticking and she doesn't have time to waste on non-relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackBlack Posted January 5, 2007 Author Share Posted January 5, 2007 Some women are all for straight sex without strings attached, but quite a few of them would be hurt to know that you are only wanting to use them for experience purposes. Just out of curiosity, why exactly are you trying to gain experience? To impress a future younger girlfriend? Or a wife, should you get married? Just to have the experience? I ask because I would think it could get rather dull and possibly create soul sickness to just have sex to gain experience and nothing more. I'm not sure how to reconcile wanting sex without strings yet being hurt because they're being used for experience purposes. Isn't that the nature of no strings attached sex - that both people are better off as a result of the sex and nothing more? And to answer your question, I feel that I'm not as sexually experienced as I should be for my age, and I feel that this could hinder me in the future. I think that a sexually inexperienced guy is somewhat of a stigma in today's society. Correct me if I am wrong (as I hope I am), but it seems to me that most girls do not want a guy who doesn't know what he's doing in the bedroom. To me, being sexually experienced is simply a quality that is better off had rather than not. And true, most women in their 30's are looking for someone they can settle with. But, I guess the kind of woman ideal for me is one who is sexually experienced, divorced and/or looking to relive her 20's and wants a young energetic guy for no strings attached sex. I'm just not sure how any of those types are out there. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 And true, most women in their 30's are looking for someone they can settle with. But, I guess the kind of woman ideal for me is one who is sexually experienced, divorced and/or looking to relive her 20's and wants a young energetic guy for no strings attached sex. I'm just not sure how any of those types are out there. It's not any harder to find a 30-something FWB than a 20-something. Trust me. Older women can be lots of fun. Pursuing an older woman is pretty much the same as pursuing a younger woman. If anything it's a little easier because there's less bullsh*t with older women. Like typical said, just be up front with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 Jack we enjoy looking at you and wanting you in an intimate way. Next time just ask the older woman out. If she is into younger you will get a resounding yes ! Now we aren't looking for a sugar daddy older man. We know you might not be well set financially but we don't care...We actually prefer younger and we go for it...... so should you Link to post Share on other sites
Poboy Posted January 7, 2007 Share Posted January 7, 2007 No, older women aren't more likely to be interested in a FWB arrangement. Actually, a woman in her 30's is MORE likely to want a serious relationship leading to marriage and children. Her bio clock is ticking and she doesn't have time to waste on non-relationships. Just because a woman might look at you in a sexually admiring way, doesn't mean she wants to teach you how to have sex. That's one reason I have always stayed away from younger men...I don't need to be anyone's teacher. I want a partner. But, hey, good luck to you. You might want to ask out one of those women who are staring at you so lustfully. nowdays , women in their 30's are looking for FWB's ... these are the non commitment , wanting to be single yet have fun. they are succesful in their careers & love to have variety in their lives ... its out there n ive seen it , not once but couple of times. Link to post Share on other sites
Raleuse Posted January 8, 2007 Share Posted January 8, 2007 nowdays , women in their 30's are looking for FWB's ... these are the non commitment , wanting to be single yet have fun. they are succesful in their careers & love to have variety in their lives ... its out there n ive seen it , not once but couple of times. I may be 30-something, successful in my career and love variety but I'm exactly the opposite of what is described above! Much closer to the kind of women norajane describes actually - I want a committed, serious relationship in which we can both share experience. But I never have been the FWB type either - far too romantic I'm afraid! I wouldn't say no to a younger man - just to any man who's after cheap sex. And I don't even feel I'm more experienced than I was 10 years ago either. Link to post Share on other sites
RealTruth Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 This is disturbing that people actually think this way... You don't need to learn from random women, who, if they're up for this with no strings attached are probably sluts and most likely have STDs. The right woman which should only be your wife if you ask me would understand if you're not the greatest at it and you 2 should practice together. Before you go and and just try to get experience - picture your honeymoon where your new wife is like "wow, you're great" and you say "I practiced on random sluts" - all for you babe! Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 picture your honeymoon where your new wife is like "wow, you're great" and you say "I practiced on random sluts" - all for you babe! Women like go-getters. Link to post Share on other sites
Raleuse Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 This is disturbing that people actually think this way... You don't need to learn from random women, who, if they're up for this with no strings attached are probably sluts and most likely have STDs. The right woman which should only be your wife if you ask me would understand if you're not the greatest at it and you 2 should practice together. Before you go and and just try to get experience - picture your honeymoon where your new wife is like "wow, you're great" and you say "I practiced on random sluts" - all for you babe! Absolutely, I'd have no problem whatsoever with sleeping with a slightly inexperienced 25 year old should he be there to stay. Link to post Share on other sites
RealTruth Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Women like go-getters. And you speak for women because...? Link to post Share on other sites
RealTruth Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Absolutely, I'd have no problem whatsoever with sleeping with a slightly inexperienced 25 year old should he be there to stay. JackBlack- from your posts where you think you need a relationship coach you mention you are not really sure of who you are yet - don't let society decide who you will be by coming up with plans like these to practice getting better at sex. In case you haven't noticed, popular society is quite messed up - so don't look there for answers to life. By the way, there are a lot of women waiting (literally) for guys like you and when you find yours she will be delighted you waited for her too. Link to post Share on other sites
Arianna72 Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 Something about the way your post read seemed a bit off to me. As a 34 year old woman I am for the most part looking for a relationship. If I were in a space where I was just looking for a FWB thing to be honest it would likely be with someone who was already comfortable with their sexuality and being comfortable with your sexuality is certainly not about how much experience you have had. I guess what I am trying to say is... no amount of "experience" alone is going to make you a good lover. I know men who have been with scores of women and suck as lovers. Focus on dealing with the issues that you believe are making you a "young sexually repressed guy" Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackBlack Posted February 10, 2007 Author Share Posted February 10, 2007 What is it that makes a good lover if not lots of experience? I would think that through every experience, one would figure out a little bit about themselves, thereby making them slightly better at what they do the next time around. Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 Of course for me the 30 and 40 year old are now the Younger woman! Not sure how that happened. In some ancient Polynesian cultures Older woman would train Young men in the art of love. It was only when she said they were ready could they go out to meet the young woman. Now if you want to meet woman who are looking for some fun but not ready for a long term commitment meet woman that have just divorced. Many times they are looking for a transition man. He is the guy that fills the gap while she get her act together. For some reason some woman get very sexually adventurous. They will often preform and do things that would have never done before. The sex can be wild and crazy. At some point like a drug wearing off they wake up look over at you and say to themselves what the hell am i doing with this guy. You are soon history they go on to a new more stable relationship. With luck you will look back with no regrets. Link to post Share on other sites
kitten chick Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 Yes there are older women that would be willing to teach you. Ones that are not looking for a relationship at the moment. You need to be upfront with her though that you're looking for a no strings attached relationship. With that said, I don't think experience is going to give you what you're looking for. I think a good lover is one part natural ability and one part understanding what makes the opposite sex feel good in and out of bed. Honestly, I think the best lovers are the guys that have significant relationship experience, not the ones that have done half the country or have only had one night stands. Reading might help you. Learning the physical outlay of a womans body and understanding from others what women in general like will help you to feel like you "know what you're doing". Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackBlack Posted February 11, 2007 Author Share Posted February 11, 2007 Wow, sounds like being a good lover and being romantic go hand in hand... both require a combination of knowledge and experience. I better get on that ASAP! Link to post Share on other sites
WilliR Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 Nothing is worse than finding out the guy you really like has slept with lots of different people before you. There is almost nothing those many FWB girls can show you that a genuine partner who loves you dearly wouldn't be happy to learn with you. The process of finding out what you like and what she likes by experimenting builds so much trust and closeness and the memories are always cherished because you are both so vulnerable yet having a great time. Dating a man-whore takes all the fun out of it, nothing is new to him, nothing very special with that special feeling of togetherness you get when you are both trying something new for the first time. I think you are just insecure but if you sleep with lots of random people, when you find the girl you really love she will be disappointed and kind of disgusted to find out she is just a number way down the list. The idea that a guy has to be very experienced to "please" a woman is a myth. Its something guys tell each other to put each other down and brag about themselves and the number of people they've slept with (gross). What is truly sexy - experimenting with each other freely with trust and learning new things that the other person likes and laughing the whole time. No one expects you to know everything as soon as you get naked - seriously, that takes all the fun out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 What is truly sexy - experimenting with each other freely with trust and learning new things that the other person likes and laughing the whole time. No one expects you to know everything as soon as you get naked - seriously, that takes all the fun out of it. Speak for yourself. I'd take an experienced woman over a virgin any day of the week. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted February 11, 2007 Share Posted February 11, 2007 What was that quote about the terrorists, something along the lines of " when they die they think they're going to get 70 virgins, I'd rather have 10 pro's any day". Something like that anyway, sounds like tan bark agrees ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackBlack Posted February 11, 2007 Author Share Posted February 11, 2007 The only way I can reconcile this is that perhaps females (particularly if they're interested in a relationship) prefer guys that have in fact NOT have been hopping from girl to girl, maybe because girls in general value the emotional availability of a partner, and if a guy has been around a lot, this is an indicator that they seldom invested their emotional selves into a relationship. On the other hand, guys tend to be in it for the physical (opposed to the emotional) interaction, so of course in order to make the experience more pleasurable they would prefer a girl who knows her way in the bedroom. Link to post Share on other sites
Road Rage Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Sex is nothing but an enhanced form of masturbation to many. The more experience the better. But when it comes to love...no experience is necessary or desired. Link to post Share on other sites
WilliR Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 The only way I can reconcile this is that perhaps females (particularly if they're interested in a relationship) prefer guys that have in fact NOT have been hopping from girl to girl... if a guy has been around a lot, this is an indicator that they seldom invested their emotional selves into a relationship. That is a very true observation Mr. Black. Link to post Share on other sites
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